The Voice Within
by astrozombie13
Summary: Raegan Young has had a terrible childhood, and is so traumatized she barely speaks. When she goes to live with her Aunt Emily, will someone bring her out of her shell? Will she make friends and find love without having to relive her past? And how will she react when she finds out the angriest wolf in the pack imprint on her? Paul/OC imprint. Warning: Sexual abuse, plenty of lemons!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Perfect Day

"_I hope you can forgive me, sweetie. But Jesse and I think that this will be for the best. Maybe one day you will understand."_

Never had I been so hurt, yet relieved in my life. Those emotionless, false words rang through my head over and over on repeat, refusing to leave my memory. Little did my mother, who said these very words, know that she was complying with all my hopes and dreams. There was nothing I wanted more than to leave that house, despite the fact that I couldn't help but feel slightly heartbroken at the idea that my own mother would sign her rights away. To her little sister she hadn't spoken with since I was 10, mind you. Why did she do this?

Let me start from the beginning.

My name is Raegan Young. I'm 16 years old, and up until my mother decided being a parent was too hard, I lived in a shabby little trailer in the middle of nowhere, South Dakota. I never met my father, all I knew was that he had pale skin and blue-green eyes, and that's only because that's the only logical explanation as to why I have them too. My mom had me at 15, which pretty much sums up why my life has been one disaster after another. My grandmother, who I never met, told my mother when she was pregnant with me that she would help support her and me if she stayed in high school, got a job, and stayed away from drugs and alcohol. My mom refused, ran off with her boyfriend to the beautiful state of South Dakota, and decided that responsibility wasn't for her. Her boyfriend left her, so my childhood consisted of me doing everything for myself since I learned how to walk. I would cook, walk to school since I never had anyone to take me, clean, and work without any assistance from anyone but the few kind neighbors and teachers who knew of my situation and gave me a few opportunities so I could scrape by. Meanwhile, my mother was sleeping with anyone who gave her a second glance, getting high off of anything and drinking cheap booze with a sketchy looking stranger. At 6 years old, I was a pro at dragging my mother's passed out body to a sofa or bed, and hiding her vodka bottles.

When I was 9, my mom met Jesse. He seemed like an alright guy at first, he was the first of my mom's many boyfriends to have a car and a job, even if it was at a gas station. He had all his teeth, too, and his beer gut wasn't as predominant as the others. The thing I liked about him most was that when Mom got drunk or high, he only participated a little, and would spend his time with me. I really liked having him around. He made it much easier to be around my mom, even in her stupor, and even asked for me to call him 'Daddy'.

That's when it all went downhill. About the time I turned 10, I noticed he was looking at me differently, and when he thought I didn't notice, he would be grinning at me really weirdly. When I would cook myself dinner (which was usually some kind of sandwich or microwavable meal), he would come up behind me and rest his big, grubby hands on my waist. When I turned 11, he would do all the same things, but he would also kiss my neck, calling me 'sexy' or 'hot'. I would always try to run away, or get out of his grasp, but he was strong, and would only let me go when I said 'Daddy, please'.

Oh, believe me, it's much more uncomfortable to experience then to hear about, so don't even try to understand unless you do.

The first time it happened when I was 12.

See, luckily, he never raped me, ever, in the time I had known him, but he didn't need to. I was making myself a grilled cheese, about to start my science homework. When he came up behind me, leaving gross, wet kisses all over my neck. As uncomfortable as I was, it wasn't anything I wasn't used to, so I just tried to speed up what I was doing so I could leave. I finally gave up and plopped my half-made grilled cheese on a paper plate, turned around with a nervous smile, and tried to leave for my room. Suddenly, a sweaty hand grabbed my wrist roughly, and out of surprise, I dropped my dinner on the floor, and he pulled me behind him, despite my protest. He practically threw me on the lumpy mattress, where I stared at him wide eyed, frightened out of my mind.

Throwing himself on me, he straddled my waist, and left rushed, open mouthed kisses all over me. He didn't kiss me on the mouth since I was screaming and crying too much. He tore off my clothes, and that's when I realized he was going to hurt me, and there wouldn't be a thing I could do about it.

I blacked out after that, but I woke up, covered in bruises and hickies. I unfortunately didn't black out all the other times, and believe me, there were hundreds of other times. And in case you didn't already realize, I was molested, as well as physically abused.

Where was my mom during all this, you ask? Well, when she wasn't completely drugged out, she was a witness to a lot of this. Whenever she saw her beloved Jesse beat on me (which happened frequently after that dreaded first time), she would just pinch the bridge of her nose, or leave the trailer with a beer or a cigarette. I had tried to sit her down when she was somewhat sober to explain that her boyfriend was sexually abusing me, but she would just laugh it off and shake her head. "Rae-Rae, your imagining things. You shouldn't lie to your mother." she would say in a tired, slurred voice, as I would sit there, tears streaming down my face as I pleaded with her to believe me.

I'm pretty sure my teachers knew, or at least suspected not all was well at home, because after class, they would pull me aside, and ask questions like 'How did you get that bruise?' or 'Is there something you want to tell me, Raegan?' And of course, I would just shake my head with a weak smile, tell them I fell or something stupid like that. I mean, why would they believe me, my own mother didn't! So after a few close calls, Jesse decided that I was not allowed to speak, and made sure I understood him.

I was quiet to begin with, but now I just didn't speak unless it was a few, stuttered words. Eye contact was nonexistent with me, and I decided to just pay extra close attention to the floor wherever I was so I wouldn't attract any more attention. I couldn't even look at a boy anymore, and lost just about all the hope I had.

Just when I thought all my faith was gone, my mom came to me, more sober then I ever saw her, sat me down, and told me that she was setting up arrangements to live with her estranged younger sister, Emily, and her husband, Sam. She told me to pack up my belongings and that she had signed her rights as my mother to Emily, and I would now be in their custody.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_Flight 134 has landed. Welcome to Seattle, Washington. You can pick up your luggage-"_

I drowned out the rest of the pilot's words as I slowly got up, reaching for my large carry on (the only thing I owned that managed to hold all my belongings) and made my way to Seattle Airport. I had never flown on a plane before, and I didn't plan to again, it was probably one of the most terrifying things I had ever done. Wearing a pair of blue jeans, an oversized sweatshirt, and a pair of brown furry boots, my dark, wavy brown hair down, and no makeup, I hoped I looked somewhat presentable. I hadn't seen Emily in about 6 years after a huge fight my mom and she got into, so even though I realized she probably wouldn't recognize me, I prayed she at least had one of those name/card signs I had seen in movies.

After wondering for a few minutes in the huge airport, I saw a woman with dark hair and tan skin, scars marring her otherwise beautiful face, next to a towering, muscular man with a serious facial expression. The woman held a huge white poster board with 'Raegan Young' written on it in pink marker. _'Wait, Raegan Young, t-that's me! Is that really Aunt Emily? She looks so…different. Happy. I guess that man next to her is her husband, Sam._' I stupidly thought to myself as I walked slowly over to them. "H-Hello. I-I'm-"

"Raegan! Oh my goodness, you've grown up so much! You look so great. I knew it was you the minute I saw you, I know your eyes anywhere. Wow! I'm so happy to see you, Rae." Said the woman I instantly knew was my aunt. Emily stared at me with a gleam in her eye, her smile stretching across her whole face, as she tackled me in a hug. The man next to her merely stared on at the scene with a hint of amusement. I immediately stiffened at the contact, my fists clenching at my sides as her attempt at affection sent me right back into my uncomfortable self. The man must have noticed my tenseness, and put a hand on my aunt's shoulder, pulling her back slightly. Her smile faltered as she noticed I didn't make an attempt at hugging her back, but quickly cleared her throat, took my luggage from my hands, and started to walk. "So, Raegan, this is my husband, Sam. We live in a house on a Native American reservation on the coast called La Push. I'm sure you will love it here. Plenty of kids your age, and plus there is a beach and everything!" Emily said excitedly. As excited as I wanted to be, I couldn't help but still feel uncomfortable. I was a burden, I knew that already, but I knew that they probably didn't want me here. Emily's demeanor once again saddened, and she sighed. Sam lovingly wrapped his arm around her waist, glowering at me slightly. Guilt started to bubble up inside me. "T-That s-sounds great, A-Aunt Emily." I said quietly, hoping it would make her feel a bit better. It obviously worked, and she turned around to face me, the excited smile on her face again. "Oh, Rae, we are going to have so much fun! Sam and I cleared out the guest room for you, feel free to customize it and decorate any way you like. I want you to be as comfortable as possible!" Emily exclaimed. We headed out of the busy airport, and headed towards the parking lot, and headed in the direction of a red SUV. Sam took the luggage from Emily's hands, and threw it in the back, and unlocked the doors. I climbed in the back seat while Sam took the wheel and Emily sat in the passenger seat. "So Rae, I realize that it's gonna be a little difficult settling in since I'm sure this place is so much different, but I swear you will like it. I can't wait for you to meet everyone!" she said with her chipper voice. "_Everyone? I thought it was just her and Sam,"_ I thought to myself curiously. I rested my head on the window, focused on the scenery, as Emily chattered on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We finally pulled up to a small, cute house surrounded by woods. "Here we are! I hope you like it, Raegan. It may be humble, but it sure has a lot of character!" Emily said. I nodded my head, trying not to laugh at the fact that she hoped I liked her 'humble' home. She knew I lived in a trailer, this place was practically a mansion compared to where I used to live. As I motioned to grab my luggage, Sam had already grabbed it, and we started inside.

Inside was even cuter then the outside, everything had that homey, comfortable feel to it. "So, Raegan, I was thinking we could spend some time catching up, how does that sound!" Emily asked, her hands clasped together as she looked at me with hopeful eyes. Noticing I was making eye contact, I immediately lowered my gaze to the floor. "A-Actually, I was kind of h-hoping I could just r-rest for a while, is that a-alright? My trip was kind of e-exhausting." I said quietly. Emily nodded, but her disappointment was evident. "Yeah, sure, I'll just show you to your room. It's down the hall and to your right." She said, sounding dejected. I gave her a tiny smile for reassurance, and nodded a thank you.

The room was much bigger than the room I had when I lived in the trailer. It was simple, with white walls, wooden furniture and a full size bed. I quickly dropped my bag, crawled into the bed, pulled the white comforter over me, and fell fast asleep.

A few hours later, I woke up in a haze. It was probably one of the best sleeps I had ever gotten, possibly because I didn't cry, have a nightmare, or tremble in fear. I stretched my sore limbs, and looked at the small clock beside my bed on the night table, and it read 7 pm. Quietly, I straightened up a bit, and left the room.

"I'm serious, Sam, she hates me! It's probably because Sandra and I got in that fight about her all those years ago, when she was younger. Add that to the fact I haven't seen her or kept in touch for such a long time…"

"Emily, she doesn't hate you. I'm sure she's just stressed and a little homesick. It wasn't your fault you and your sister fought, you were just trying to be a good aunt."

I stopped as I heard the conversation, guilt pouring through me as Emily continued to vent to her husband. I sneakily walked past, trying not to be heard, in fear they would think I was eavesdropping. Just as I continued to tip toe down the hallway, I bumped into a hard, brick wall. _'Why is there a brick wall in the middle of the hallway?_' I thought to myself, holding my head. "Jeez, are you okay? Hey! You're Emily's niece, right?" said a deep, happy voice. I looked up to see what looked like a slightly smaller version of Emily's husband. I nodded my head, and dusted off my pants so I wouldn't have to grab the hand that was being held out to me. "Well, I'm Seth. I'm Emily's cousin, so I guess I'm your cousin in some twisted way. Your name is Raegan, right?" he said speedily. I struggled to catch up with his chatter, but I was quite surprised to find out about him being my cousin. I didn't realize I had any other family besides Emily. "Oooh, quiet, are we? Well, that's sure to end soon. Everyone is really loud here, and extremely close. So, where are you from?" he said excitedly. Man, was everyone here happy and cheerful? Not that there was an issue with it, but it would definitely be something I have to get used to. Much to my surprise, he grabbed my hand and pulled me along effortlessly. "I-I'm from S-South Dakota." I whispered. He let out a low whistle as he led me to the kitchen area, sitting down at a huge table. "Wow, no man's land, am I right? Well, it's cool to have you here. I have a sister, Leah, who you will meet later. She's kinda grumpy, but she has her reasons. This is sweet! More family!" he said happily. She nodded her head, revealing a small smile at his boyish attitude.

A few minutes later, after only half listening to Seth's mindless banter, Emily and Sam walked in. "Oh, Raegan! I see you've already met Seth. How was your sleep?"

"G-Good, thank you."

"Oh, Rae, I'm so excited! I can't wait for you to meet everyone. We are having dinner here tonight, so everyone should be here shortly. Do you want anything in particular? Any requests?" Emily asked. I shook my head. "_I'm serious, who is this everybody?"_ I kept asking myself. Just as soon as the thought repeated itself in my head, the front door opened loudly, and the sounds of deep laughter and conversation made its way through the house. My eyes instinctively opened, and I clenched my seat nervously. Seth looked over at me, raising his eyebrow. "It's okay, they're all super nice. Except for Paul. We're all… friends, like brothers." He said, laughing at his last statement like it was inside joke. _'I guess I should stay away from this Paul guy,'_ I thought cautiously. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw 8 burly men who looked practically the same storm through the kitchen, shoving each other playfully. "I swear Jacob, if I hear you talk about Bella one more time, I will smash my head repeatedly into a wall until I'm sure my memories have been erased." Said one of the men. Everyone started to laugh at the joke, as the man who must have been Jacob punched him in gut. I awkwardly stared at the table in front of me, hoping not to catch anyone's attention. "Hey, is this her?" said one of them, obviously gesturing towards me. My hopes of playing wallflower fell through. Seth nudged me with a smirk, probably wanting me to introduce myself, but I made no attempt. "Guys, this is Raegan, Emily's niece and my cousin. Raegan, this is the…group." Seth said, giggling at another inside joke. Emily put on her oven mitts and the guys all took a seat around the table. My face still refused to meet any of theirs, and I decided that perhaps Emily would want my help. I got up from the table and headed towards her. "A-Aunt E-Emily? Do you need any h-help?" I asked anxiously. Surprised, she looked at me with wide eyes. "Yeah! Thanks for asking. The guys rarely ever ask if I need anything." She replied. She instructed me to stir the pasta and sauce, and keep careful watch and take an occasional taste. "_Rarely ask if she needs anything? If this were my house, I would make all of them help."_ I thought, but didn't raise my voice about it. As she started to cut up pieces of kitchen and put 4 whole loaves of garlic bread in the oven, I cleared my throat. "A-Aunt Emily?" I asked quietly. She immediately turned around, nodding her head. "C-Can I ask a q-question?"

"You just did."

"O-Oh, sorry…"

"I'm just kidding, Rae. Go on."

"W-What was it that you and my m-mom argued about that time?"

Emily automatically stopped cutting the chicken. "Y-You know, it's okay. Never mind." I mumbled. She shook her head. "No, no, I'm sort of surprised you remember, is all. It's okay. Um, it was just a little argument that completely blew out of proportion. Just something I thought I saw." She explained, waving it off. That caught my interest. "T-Thought you saw? What did you see?" I asked.

"You know, I was probably just misunderstanding. I really don't think it was a big deal."

"P-Please? I'm sorry I'm being so persistent. It's just been something I've been curious about."

"I…I thought maybe Jesse, your mother's boyfriend, was being a little inappropriate…with you. Like I said, it was nothing." She said, continuing to wave it off. I froze. Was there a possibility she knew? "W-What do you mean by i-inappropriate?" I asked. She practically whipped around, her mouth in a tight line and her eyebrows furrowed. "He never was, was he? He never…touched you…or anything, right?" she asked hurriedly. I shook my head no, despite the fact that my every thought was to say 'Yes, yes he did!'

"N-No. He never did anything." I whispered. She continued to stare at me, looking like she didn't really believe what I told her, but eventually turned around and finished what she was doing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Emily and I finally finished cooking, and we began to set the food on the table. I didn't really understand why we made so much, I mean I know she had quite a few guests, and they were male, but surely they couldn't eat THIS much. I finally sat down, and everyone started to serve themselves. I realized there were girls sitting next to a few of the guys who came in. Probably girlfriends or wives. I wasn't very hungry after the discussion with Emily, so I just grabbed a small plate of pasta. "Is that all you're going to eat?" said a girl with a permanent scowl across her face. I immediately looked down into my lap and nodded. "What are you, anorexic or something? Come on, I'm sure you want more than that, don't you?" the girl said with fake concern. Seth glared at her, whispering a 'knock it off'. That familiar feeling of being a burden crept up again, and I felt multiple pairs of eyes on me. "M-May I be excused?" I asked quietly. Emily nodded, pity in her eyes. I practically ran to the bathroom.

Locking the door behind me, I threw some water on my face and gazed at my reflection in the mirror. Blue green eyes that kind of looked like a cloudy day, pasty white skin with freckles underneath my eyes, dark, uncontrollably wavy hair that washed out my skin tone even more is what I saw staring back at me. I remember once when my mom was particularly drunk, she said I looked just like my father. That was about all she ever said about him. Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door, and I just about jumped out of my skin. "Hey, you okay in there? Emily wanted me to go and check on you." Said a gruff, deep voice. I nodded, not realizing he couldn't see me, and I opened the bathroom door.

I'm not exactly sure what happened next. I don't know if he was leaning against the door and I yanked too hard, or I stumbled, but I crashed right into the large, burly figure that towered over my 5'3" frame, and down I went. "Whoa, are you-" he started. The next thing I know, he's staring straight into my eyes, a look of admiration and love on his face. I immediately cut off eye contact, but he continued to stare at me with that creepy look on his face. I even waved a hand gently in front of his eyes, and he didn't even blink. Just as soon as the look came across his face, an expression of anger and frustration appeared, and without even a second glance, he stormed down the hallway. I quickly gathered myself to my feet, where I heard the front door slam, and made my way back to the kitchen. Everyone stared at me curiously, as Emily gazed at me with a tickled smile. What the hell just happened?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Review, review, review! Here's chapter 2!

Chapter 2: Skinny Love

Paul's POV:

Why must Leah be such a bitch? I know it's probably not that easy to be in the house of your ex-boyfriend who is now married to your cousin, but still, no reason to take it out on everyone else. The poor girl, Riley, or whatever her name is, Emily's niece, probably feels like major shit now. Emily stared at Leah with a death glare, while Sam started to tremble. "Leah, your actions are not acceptable in this house. Raegan didn't deserve how you just treated her." Sam growled, trying to keep his composure. Leah simply rolled her eyes, paying close attention to her nails. "Yeah, well it's not my fault you and the home-wrecker over here decided to take in a head case just because you feel bad for her."

"She's your cousin too, Leah." Seth stated seriously. She rolled her eyes again. "Yeah, well no girl like that is a cousin of mine." She said with a laugh. Angry, I decided to see if this Raegan girl was okay. I know how it feels to be under Leah's heat if anyone does. So deciding that my food would be there when I got back, I marched over to the bathroom and knocked on the door tentatively. "Hey, you okay in there? Emily wanted me to go and check on you." I lied smoothly, hoping she didn't realize no one asked me to check on her, I just did because…well, I just felt like I should. No response. Thinking it was going to be a while, I leaned against the door, when suddenly, the door gave way, and within a time span of 3 seconds, Emily's niece was lying on the floor. "Whoa, are you-" I started, when suddenly, my eyes met hers.

At the drop of a hat, I realized nothing else mattered to me, nothing at all. My friends, my family, nothing. She was the only one who mattered to me. She sat on the floor, holding her head, when I really, really looked at her. Long, dark brown wavy locks cascaded down her back, blue green eyes that looked like the ocean stared back at me. Her large eyes brought out the delicate, doll-like features of her face, which like the rest of her body, was a glowing white. Her cheeks had what seemed to be a permanent blush, bringing out the freckles that rested under her eyes and across the bridge of her nose. She appeared to be petite and short in height, not that that mattered to me. She was absolutely stunning, and I loved her, I knew I did!

Wait, what? Love? No, no, no! I hate the idea of imprinting! I can't love her! My feelings of love and care for her soon vanished, and anger took its place. I couldn't love her, I just met her! I don't like her, and refuse to like her! With that, not even bothering to help her up, I took off.

"Hey, where're you going, Paul?"

"What's the matter?"

I heard their concerned voices, but I needed to get out of there. I couldn't be around her. I heard footsteps behind me, but not caring, I slammed the front door behind me. "Hey, man, wait up! What's wrong?" said a voice I quickly recognized to be Jacob's. Not stopping, I phased right then and there, and took off into the woods. I heard the sounds of clothes ripping in the distance as I ran into the dark forest, and soon, the sounds of paws hitting the ground joined mine.

"_Hey man, wait! What's going on?"_

"_Dude, stop! Chill!"_

Soon, I came to a halt, and started swiping my claws at a nearby tree. "_Ugh! No! I can't believe this shit!"_ I screamed in my head. 4 other wolves surrounded me, begging me to tell them what happened. Not even having the words, I recalled to the event that occurred moments before. They all stared at me, obviously shocked. "_This is great, man! Congrats!"_

"_You imprinted! Woohoo!"_

"_Wow, man, I never thought I'd see the day!" _

I growled. _"Shut the fuck up! This is not great! This is not something to be congratulated for! Are you all stupid?!"_ I said menacingly, continuing to rip apart the poor tree. "_Don't speak to us that way, Paul. Calm down, we can talk about this is in a peaceful way."_

"_Fuck you!"_

"_I command you to stop, and listen!" _Sam shouted. Much to my protest, I lowered myself down onto my belly, muttering an apology. "_So you imprinted on Raegan, correct?"_ Jacob asked. I nodded my head, and suddenly her face came into my mind, and all my angst washed away, welcoming feelings of desperation and love. "_If you don't calm down, you won't be able to see her again. You don't want that, do you?" _Sam asked. I quickly shook my head. Not see Raegan again? He couldn't do this to me, I like the idea now! "_Then focus on phasing back. We have many things to discuss. Since she is Emily's niece, I want to make sure that this is for the best."_ Sam explained. I quickly nodded my head. "_Sam, I promise to take care of her, I promise! I won't mess this up. Please let me see her, it hurts! It hurts not to be near her!"_

"_Relax Paul. Calm down and breathe. You will see her soon."_

"_How soon? Today? I need to see her Sam, I need to make sure she's okay! She was on the floor when I saw her, is she going to be alright? Is she hurt?"_

"_RELAX PAUL."_

Only focused on seeing Raegan again, I finally phased back. Sam, Jacob, Quil, and Jared were all back in human form. Sam chucked a pair of shorts at me, and I quickly put them on. "So I can see her now, right? Right?" I asked persistently. Sam cut me off with the raise of his hand. "We still need to talk about this. Now, I know you realize that you want the best for her. But many mistakes can be made-"

"I won't hurt her! I swear! Please!" I begged desperately, tears rising to my eyes. Why was he torturing me like this? "-And I know you don't want to hurt her. But accidents happen, and that's why you must promise me you will be on your very best behavior. No impulsive behavior, no quick temper, nothing. Understood?"

I nodded frantically. Come on Sam, damn it!

"Now, Emily and I have discussed the reasons upon why Raegan is here with us, and from what I gathered, I think it is important that Raegan has a FRIEND. Not a lover as of right now, but someone who can watch out for her. Raegan has had a rough growing up, and both Emily and I aren't sure exactly what we are dealing with since it is too early to tell. But I need you to promise me you will take it slow." Sam explained seriously. I processed everything he told me, letting it soak in, and nodded. "Good. Now you can go in and see her."

Without a second thought, I sprinted my way back to Emily's house.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Raegan's POV

Emily sat me down at the table, apologizing over and over for Leah's actions. Leah seemed to have taken off somewhere, probably angry. Seth, Emily, a few girls, and a boy Emily regarded as Embry looked at each other knowingly. "I'm just really c-confused. W-What would make him do that?" I asked quietly. They all gave each other that knowing look again, and Emily cleared her throat. "I'm not really sure, Rae, but can I ask you to do something for me?"

"S-Sure."

"Be nice to Paul? He really likes, um, making new friends, so he may want to get to know you better. Even if you don't want to be friends with him, which I'm not saying to do because Paul, is um, a great friend to have, be kind. I know you are, but he gets his feelings hurt easily." Emily explained uneasily. I nodded my head, still confused. Suddenly, the front door slammed open, and the man we were just talking about walked through…with no shirt. "You know, I have something to do…so I'm gonna leave…." Emily started, quickly getting up from the chair. Everyone else at the table followed her lead, making excuses about having to do something.

I was all alone with a ginormous, muscular, attractive Native American guy with no shirt.

"Hi. My name is Paul. Sorry I took off before, I suddenly….remembered something! So, what's your name?" the guy said happily, a broad smile lighting up his face. Had I not been so freaked out, I would have thought he was handsome. I struggled to find words to say, and every time I was about to say something, that insistent smile with loving eyes froze me up.

"M-My name is R-Raegan… Raegan Y-Young."

At the sound of this, his smile brightened even more if it was possible, and I shied away from his gaze. "Raegan! That's an interesting name."

"…M-My mom only thought of a b-boy's name…"

"Well, it's still really cool. Tell me about yourself. Wanna play a game? How about I ask you a question, you answer, and then I answer back?" he insisted. Why was he being so persistent? Why did he want to get to know me all of the sudden? His smile faded at my lack of response, so I quickly nodded my head. His face lit up again. "So, what's your favorite color?"

I blushed. "I-I…I never really thought about it, I guess."

"What? You've never thought about your favorite color?"

I blushed even harder, staring at my hands. "I… I guess not. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you don't have to be sorry. My favorite color is blue-green. Especially when it's the color of someone's eyes." He said lovingly. Freaked out and scared to the max, I gave him a weak smile. "Y-You know, P-Paul, I'm really tired. Can we c-continue this some other t-time?" I asked quietly. In all my life, that's probably the boldest I have ever gotten with anyone. He frowned, a pained look on his face, and I left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

It had been almost a week and a half since I first arrived at Aunt Emily's, and I've barely muttered a word to her or to anyone. I usually just stayed in my room, reading and rereading the books I brought with me. I didn't even eat at meal times, because I knew all of Sam and Emily's friends would be there, so I would wait until they left, reheat whatever was leftover, and eat alone. But that would never stop that Paul guy from asking. 3 times a day, he would knock on my door and ask if I wanted to eat with them, and I would never respond. However, today was different.

I must have left my door open, so as lunch time arrived, Paul walked right in. Surprised, I scrambled to my feet and dropped the book I was reading. I hurriedly sat on the bed, not knowing what to expect. "Do you want lunch, Raegan?" Paul asked in a quiet, tired voice. I looked up at him, making eye contact with him-anyone- for days. He looked exhausted and worn out, bags under his eyes. I blinked at him.

Sighing, he started to leave, when he turned back around. "Is…Is that 'The Outsiders?" he asked timidly. I nodded slowly. "I hated that book. You can so tell a girl wrote it." He muttered. Surprised he was talking to me, and surprised that he disliked one of my favorite books, I shook my head. "I-It's a really good book. It tells the story of true friendship." I whispered. He must have been just as surprised, and stared at me. "Yeah, well, that wouldn't happen in the real world, and things wouldn't have gone down the way they did if it were a real guy talking." he explained, a smile forming on his face. I shook my head again. "No, no. Y-You have to look at it from P-Ponyboy's personality. He's much more sensitive for a boy. He's no D-Dallas." I said back. Grinning, he playfully rolled his eyes. "It was still so stupid. I mean really? Who names their kids Ponyboy and Sodapop?"

"You're r-reading into the story way t-too much."

"Well, I still feel like it needed a more manly touch. Maybe then it would have been better."

I nodded, taking his idea into consideration. "M-Maybe. But it's still a n-nice read." I replied. Paul's smile was on full display, despite the fact that I was disagreeing. "This is nice." He said suddenly, waking me up from my thoughts. "What's n-nice?" I asked timidly.

"For a while, I thought you would never talk. To anyone. And now you are."

"Y-Yeah…I'm sorry."

"If you are sorry, you would do something to make it up to me."

At these words, I froze up. Folding my arms across my chest protectively, I looked away. He must have seen my change in demeanor, and quickly rushed to restate his thought. "No, no, no. Nothing bad, no! I was just saying you can make it up to me by having lunch with me."

"…Lunch?"

"Yeah, that's not so bad, is it? Just lunch. We can talk about more books, right?" he asked hopefully.

In my 16 years of life, I've never wanted to not disappoint someone in my life. I don't know if it's because I found his persistence and hope questionable, but I nodded my head. "Sure. L-Lunch."

XXXXXXXXXX

After getting changed into a pair of dark wash jeans and a large, oversized off-white sweater (since it's October), and my pair of brown boots, Paul and I left. Emily practically gawked at me as I told her Paul was going to get me lunch, and after a few minutes of blatant shock, she nodded her head and said to have fun. "You look nice in that sweater." Paul said as we were heading out. What the heck? I blushed and turned away. "I-I meant comfortable. You know? And comfort makes people look nice." He stammered. It made absolutely no sense, but I nodded a thank you. We got to his car, which was a rather large, black truck. He easily climbed in, while I struggled due to its height off of the ground and my shortness. "You okay over there?" Paul asked teasingly. I nodded, and once again landed back on the ground after a poor attempt to hoist myself up. Suddenly, I felt two strong hands hoist me up into the passenger's seat without any struggle. I looked down to see Paul, a smirk on his face with an eyebrow raised. "If you needed help, you could've just asked."

Still shaking off the bad feelings I got about him touching me, I thanked him and we took off. The ride was mostly silent, with Paul attempting to start conversation. I would just nod or say a one word answer, never looking at him in the eye. We finally pulled into a place called 'Sue's Diner', and made our way inside. "Why hello, Paul, who is this?" said a friendly looking woman with an apron, slightly older with smile wrinkles around her eyes. "Sue, this is Raegan. Raegan, this is Sue, Seth and Leah's mom." Paul explained. Sue, out of nowhere, enraptured me in a hug. "I must be your aunt in some strange way then! Oh, honey, I'm so glad you are here. How is your mother? Is she here too?" she asked. I froze at her mention of my mother, and shook my head. She frowned, but gave me one last squeeze before she led us to a booth in the back, then headed off to the kitchen.

I looked at the menu with steady focus so I wouldn't have to look at Paul. He already seemed to know what he wanted. Wait, was he going to pay for me? Should I have brought money? "P-Paul, I didn't bring money with me."

"No worries, I was going to pay for you either way."

"A-Are you sure? I could just get some water…"

"Like I said, no worries. Order whatever you want."

Paul smiled at me, and unlike before, where this would make me uncomfortable, the warm and genuine vibes it gave me made me smile in return. Our waitress came over, and we both, ironically, ordered the same exact thing. "So 2 diet cokes, 2 grilled cheeses, 2 orders of fries, and 2 orders of tomato soup?" the waitress asked in a bored tone. We nodded, and Paul snuck me a smirk when he thought I wasn't looking. "So, what other books have you read?" Paul asked curiously, one hand resting under his chin. "W-Well, I've read a lot of books…you name it, I've probably read it." I said quietly, yet confidently. Why was I so comfortable around him? I just met him! I didn't even speak to Aunt Emily like this! He chuckled. "What's your favorite book?" he asked. The question kind of caught me by surprise, and I took a minute to think. "Well, I think it would have to be either 'A Slice of Cherry' or 'Animal Farm'. I can't really decide." I said honestly. He raised an eyebrow. "I've never read either of them. What are they about?" he asked.

This led to a whole hour's worth of conversation of me explaining the books, him asking questions like an interviewer, and me basically talking about why I liked them. I never had anyone ask me about what I liked so intimately before, and I wasn't really sure if I was completely comfortable with how comfortable I was around Paul. Anytime I would try to climb back in my shell, Paul was practically ready to wrench me right out. I wasn't even stuttering when we were talking! Not ever having had a friend before, is this what having a friend is like?

XXXXXXXXXX

Paul's POV

I'm not going to lie. I hate reading. I hate having to sit down with a book and focus. I hate really anything that requires focus, unless I'm patrolling, because at least there's a chance I get to kill something. But my lunch date thing with Raegan literally made me want to read every book ever written.

Raegan. She was so smart. Like, scary smart. Shy and quiet, but she was really opening up to me when we got to talking about what she liked to read. Every time she spoke about a book, her eyes would stare right into me, and the words would flow out of her mouth like a waterfall. It was fascinating just to hear how she used certain words; how she explained things. A few times, she tried to retreat back in to herself, but in acts of desperacy, I would quickly ask more questions for her to answer.

I had dropped Raegan back at her house, where Emily was anxiously waiting on the porch swing. Now, trip 2: go to the library.

I know what you're thinking, and I know how stupid I must look. I mean, I've never even been to the library. I didn't even know we had one until I was paid the check at Sue's, and quickly asked her where it was.

Heading inside, I signed up for a library card (because I'd probably be back, whether I liked it or not), and looked through the aisles. After asking a few library attendees where 'Animal Farm' and 'A Slice of Cherry' were located, I got them, got a few other books that kind of looked big and important, and left.

After I got home, I ran up to my room, put the books on my desk except for 'Animal Farm', sat down on my bed, and started reading. It's gonna be a long night.

A/N: That's it for chapter 2! Review! If you want a better image ask to how Raegan looks, look up 'Emily Rudd'. She's really popular on Tumblr and in my opinion, beautiful! Also, I highly recommend reading 'Animal Farm' and 'A Slice of Cherry'!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you for your reviews, guys! But don't stop! Review, review, review!

Chapter 3: Over My Head

Raegan's POV

I had a lot of fun at lunch with Paul, oddly. I never thought talking about books would be so interesting, but Paul's constant curiosity made me feel special, in a way. I never hung out with anyone or had friends at my old school, so to say this was a new experience was an understatement.

Paul dropped me off at my house, saying he would see me at dinner, and left. Emily was sitting on the porch swing excitedly, and got up once she saw me. "Hi, Aunt Emily." I said quietly. She smiled at me. "So how was lunch with Paul?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant but failing. I looked at her questioningly. "Good…"

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Books."

"Books? Anything else?"

"Not really…?"

Emily looked slightly disappointed. What did she think I was going to tell her? This wasn't a date or anything. Suddenly, she cleared her throat. "Raegan, can I ask you a question?" she asked timidly. I nodded my head. "When we spoke a few nights ago, about the argument Sandra-I mean your mother, and I had, and I asked you about Jesse, you seemed a little…off." She said curiously. My face paled. Oh God, please don't do this, Aunt Emily. I stared at the wall behind her. "I-I have no i-idea what you're talking about."

"Then why are you stuttering? Why can't you make eye contact with me? Please, Rae, I need to know."

I glared at her, suddenly angry. Who was she to get into the business of my past? "Aunt Emily, no o-offense, but this isn't any of your business." I snapped. Surprised, but not shaken, she took my wrist and sat me down in a chair at the kitchen table. Much to my dismay, and to my fear, tears welled up in her eyes. "Rae, baby girl, I know it's been a while since I last spoke to you, before you came her, I mean. I know you must hate me. But sweetie, no matter how much I tried, your mother wouldn't ever let me speak to you. I tried to call, but the phone service kept saying the landline no longer existed, and I had no idea where you guys even were. I-I need to know what happened."

I stared up at her. "Nothing ever happened, Aunt Emily, nothing! Please just drop it!" I yelled, my hands clenching up into fists. Tears fell from her eyes, and as guilty as I felt, I didn't show any weakness. "Raegan, I know something did. I know what I saw that day, I've spent all these years trying to convince myself what I saw was a misunderstanding. I tried to convince myself that you were okay; that you were perfectly fine in that home. But I know better now. You've changed so much, Rae. I can't stand myself for leaving you alone. I should have known. Please, baby girl, tell me. Tell me so I know I'm speaking the truth."

Tears started to pour out of my eyes uncontrollably, my body shaking in fear. I had never been in this predicament before. Besides the teachers at school, no one had ever cared enough to ask if anything was ever wrong at home. Jesse told me he would hurt me really badly if I ever told anyone. "Aunt E-Emily, I-I…I can't tell you."

"Sweetie, please, I promise I won't judge you. I won't ever tell a soul."

"It's….It's not that, I-I'm not supposed to tell."

Sobs racked my whole frame now, was there a possibility that she would believe me? Would she refuse me like my own mother? And even, if she did know, what difference would it make? "He told me not to tell!"

"Raegan, I promise you, he will never do anything ever again. But I need to know what happened!"

Taking a gulp and a deep breath, I slowly exhaled. Either way I looked at it, I had to tell her. I was far too deep in for her not to know something happened, and if I didn't tell her now, who knew what could happen? Plus, the nightmares would start up again soon and I would definitely need an explanation. "Aunt Emily, I need to know that no matter what I tell you, you won't freak out or get mad, and just know that there isn't anything that can change what happened."

She nodded for me to go on, and I coughed. "Aunt Emily…Mom…Mom did drugs. And she drank." I whispered. I heard a sharp intake of breath. "She left me alone a lot…she was always passed out, or out with people, so I had to do everything on my own." I explained. I wasn't staring at her face, to busy staring at my hands, but from the corner of my eyes I could see her shaking her head. "When I got old enough, I had to get a job. We were living off of welfare and child support. I paid all the bills, balanced the checkbook, had to make sure there was enough for us both to eat since all Mom did was spend money on booze or drugs. Then, she met Jesse."

"Jesse was really cool at first, you know? He was kind of like a friend. I…I trusted him. He was the only one who showed me attention. Then, then I got older…."

"Oh my God, no, no please don't…"

"…I got older, and I noticed he was being really weird…he…was…affectionate….too affectionate…"

That's when I broke out into hysterical sobs. Emily got up from her chair and kneeled down next to me, wrapping her long, graceful arms around me protectively, despite her own tears. "H-He…He…"

"Sweetie, you don't have to finish-"

"I…I want to. Jesse…Jesse abused me."

Emily tightened her embrace, taking a hand and placing it under my chin in a motherly way, making me make eye contact. "Raegan, how did he abuse you?" she asked, anger seeping through her words. I shook my head, refusing to answer. "Raegan, answer me." Emily demanded boldly, but gently at the same time. "He…H-He beat me, and he…he touched me. In bad places." I whispered. Emily let me go, getting up from her stance and grabbed a napkin to dab her tears from the counter. Shaking her head angrily, she let out a frustrated cry. "I knew it! I knew it, the day he…he put his hand on you the way he did, and looked at you…I knew something was wrong. I already knew Sandra was having problems, but I was too afraid to say anything. Why didn't I speak up? I could've saved you from that! I could have told someone! But no! I was so convinced I was seeing things, or hallucinating…Raegan, Raegan baby, I'm so sorry."

Gazing up at her in disbelief, I shook my head. "Aunt Emily, there was nothing you could have done. It's not your fault. I don't blame you at all, at all! Never think this was your fault. You didn't even live in South Dakota, you were only there to visit. Aunt Emily, you were…are…the best aunt you can be. Never believe otherwise."

"…You were only a little girl…Oh, God…How could he do that?! You had never done anything…So innocent…" Emily cried, wiping her eyes with the napkin in attempt to erase the tears that were shedding. I walked up to her, and much to both of our surprise, I tightly squeezed my arms around her. "Aunt Emily, it's done. There's nothing that can be done now. I'm here, not there, so now we just have to look past it. It's not your fault."

With that explanation, she just nodded her head, tears finally coming to an end. "Thank you. For telling me. I promise I won't tell anyone. Not even Sam. I swear to God, I won't." she said painfully. I nodded. With one last tight squeeze, I retreated to my room.

Locking the door behind me as I reached my plain, white room, I fell into a crying heap on my bed, trying to wrap my head around everything that just happened. I had never, ever told anyone what was going on. Ever. I never thought I would. And never did I think that I would tell my aunt, who I not only haven't seen in years, but I had only been with for about a week. But I also didn't think anyone would ever believe me; believe the truth about what I endured in that hell. Despite my fear, anger, and overall frustration over what just occurred, I couldn't help but feel like a small portion of the weight I was carrying was off my shoulders. But not completely.

I really meant it when I told Aunt Emily that it wasn't her fault. There really wasn't anything else that could have been done. She was not to blame.

I was.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paul's POV

After reading the first few chapters of 'Animal Farm', I had patrol. Running out to the forest in wolf form, I met up with Sam, Quil, Jacob, and Embry. "_Hey guys, I just had the best time with Raegan. We went to lunch…"_

"_Lunch?"_

"_Ooooh! Someone's getting it in!"_

Sam growled at the last comment, which came from Embry. "_Shut it, that's Emily's niece you're talking about."_ Embry rolled his eyes, but the guys persisted. Not wanting to have to continuously explain the date (although I would in a heartbeat), I ran the memory through my head, a dazed, stupid smile on my face.

To say their faces were shocked would be in an understatement. Slightly pissed off at their lack of response, I growled. "_What?!" _

Jacob was the first to speak, trying to muffle his laughter. "_Dude, you guys talked about BOOKS. BOOKS. You made it sound like you slept together or something. You know, a little action."_

I growled angrily at him, daring him to say something else. "_And? You're just jealous because you haven't imprinted yet. So what if we are talking about books? At least she and I aren't talking about her leech ex-boyfriend."_

Not the least bothered by what I said, the guys continued to laugh. "_Dude, she reads books!"_

"_I still don't see what the big fucking deal is!"_

"_How don't you see it?!"_

"_Fuck you all. If you aren't going to tell me, go to hell."_

Embry finally stopped acting like a complete dipshit and spoke up. "_Paul. She reads books. She's quiet. Shy. You…You are Paul. You didn't even know there was a library in this town!"_

"_Come on dude, you don't even read the school-mandated ones. When we read 'Gone With the Wind', you used the pages as paper airplanes. No offense, man, you're like a brother to me, but she's a little…out of your league."_

"_What Embry's trying to say in a nice manner is that you are totally whipped. And you barely know her."_

Frustrated, I let out a snarl. "_I'm not fucking whipped, Jacob, I love her! I want to know her interests! You know, of all people, I thought you'd at least be a little supportive. I'm the one who's gonna get the girl in the end. At least I have a girl to call my own, your leech-lover is so attached to her cold, dead boyfriend she doesn't even look twice at you."_

"_Fuck you, Paul! I don't have to imprint on Bella to know I love her! You wouldn't have ever noticed Raegan if you hadn't imprinted. And by the way, she's never, ever going to go for you. She's one of the few girls you've ever had interested in that DOESN'T have shit for brains. She wouldn't ever stoop that low."_

"_You know what? It's obvious that you guys have this under control. I'm gonna head to Emily's, and see how Raegan is doing."_

Frustrated beyond belief, I ran into the direction of Emily's. Once I reached the small, comfortable looking house, I phased back, wrenching on a pair of shorts left on the back porch.

Walking in was kind of scary. Unlike usual, it was super quiet, and everything was very…still. Using my enhanced hearing, I heard quiet cries coming from the living room, and I immediately knew it was Emily. But the worst was something that made my heart ache terribly. I heard sobs coming from where the guest room was located, and I knew it was Raegan. I practically stormed into the house, where Emily was quick to get off of the sofa. "Paul…"

"Where is she? Is she hurt? Is she okay?"

"Paul, go home. Everything's okay. Tell the guys I can't make dinner, have Billy order a pizza or something…just, just go, okay?" she cried quietly, resting her small hand on my bare chest in protest, pushing me out the door. Bewildered and scared, I tried to get around her. "Emily, what's going on? Why is she hurting? What's wrong? Talk to me, Emily." I said anxiously, my heart pain increasing with every sob coming from that room. Emily merely shook her head, continuing to push me out the door. I finally complied, not very willingly, and she pushed me out onto the porch. "Emily, it hurts. It hurts so bad. What's wrong with her? Is she going to be okay?" I asked, almost fearful to know the answer. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she nodded. "Paul, I need you to do me a huge favor. It's for Raegan."

"If it's for Raegan, I'll do anything. Shoot."

"I…I need you to be patient with her, okay? Don't pressure her, please. It is more crucial than ever that she has a friend. You need to promise me you won't be needy or clingy. Raegan…Raegan has gone through some very hard things, and I need you to know that there's…there's a chance that…"

"A chance that what? Emily, please!"

"There's a chance she may never come out of this. She's hurting, really badly, and I promised her that I wouldn't tell anyone what she told me. The things that Raegan has had to deal with isn't for someone who isn't committed to her. And I know she's your imprint, but I need you to realize you are in for the long hall, understood?" Emily explained to me sternly.

"Emily, I promise over my dead body, I love her. I may not know her, but I am fully and completely committed to this. She is my imprint, and I will be whatever it is she demands I be, even if in the long run it won't be a decision I will like. I will take care of her, watch over her, and protect her with every fiber of my being. I know I don't have the best record when it comes to girls, but this is different. I will do everything in my power to prevent her from hurting." I stated seriously. Emily nodded, looking at me straight in the eyes, believing me. Ushering me to go home, I walked in the brisk evening back to my house.

Welcomed by the silence that was always accompanied when you only live with your mother, I threw the keys on the counter, and sprinted to my room before my mom could raise any questions. Locking the door behind me, I curled up in my bed, clutching my pained heart, as warm tears pricked my eyes. Doing something I hadn't done since I was little, I closed my eyes, mentally hoping for there to be a God. "_Lord, please, make this pain go away. Make her pain go away. I will do whatever it is I have to do, just please, make her be okay."_

A/N: Okay guys, that's it for chapter 3! What did you guys think? Please comment and review! I love all of you to bits, and remember, if you want to see what Raegan looks like, look up Emily Rudd, I based her physical appearance on her with a few exceptions (freckles, height, etc.) Review, review, review!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys, I know there were some improper grammar and spelling mistakes in my last chapter, so I'm going to try and fix that! Anyway, here is chapter 4!

Chapter 4: What You Wanted

Raegan's POV

I woke up from a dreamless sleep with a throbbing headache. "_Ugh, I feel gross."_ I thought to myself, quickly throwing the sheets off of myself and running to the bathroom. Tearing off my clothes, I finally stripped down to nothing and turned the shower on, keeping the water at the hottest setting possible. I climbed in, and curled up on the floor of the tub as the hot, scalding water poured down on me.

And that's when the memories of the previous day hit me full force. What was I _thinking?_ Why did I tell! Oh God, he's going to find me, he's going to hurt me! He told me not to tell!

Before I knew it, I was hyperventilating in the steamy hot shower, rocking back and forth in fetal position like a crazy person. I needed something, a release. Anything to just make me not feel this worry and pain. Anything to just help me forget, even if for a little while, about this problem I put myself in.

It was then when I noticed something I never have before, in the week I had spent here. Around the shower head hung a bath caddy, filled with sponges, scented bath salts, and other things. I quickly gathered to my feet, hoping I would find what I was looking for. I practically ripped the caddy open, rummaging through it with frantic hands. "_Where is it?! I know they usually go in here!" _I thought; panicked beyond belief. I needed a release! I needed it!

I finally found what I was looking for, at the bottom of the bag. I held it in my hands like fragile glass, admiring its beauty, and what it would mean. I would get my release! I could practically already feel it! Thank you, God!

I carefully picked the razor blade up in my hand with skill that came from years of practice, and maneuvered it across my left wrist. I always started off slow, letting the sharp, tingling pain set in. After the first few cuts, I started to move more desperately, sliding it across my arm in fast, painful strokes. "_Oh, yes…God, yes!"_ I thought to myself excitedly, as the blade continued to fracture my skin. Even though each cut of the blade only caused a few seconds of absolute ecstasy, it was well worth it.

I finally stopped, deciding I didn't deserve this much pleasure. I stared down at my arm, the brand, new cuts bleeding light enough not to seriously hurt me, but heavy enough to make me look at them in fascination. I carefully rinsed all the excess blood off in the hot water.

I always hated the feeling you got after cutting, the guilty, regretful thoughts that invade your mind like a parasite. I slid down the wall of the shower, curling up once again, as salty, hot tears ran down my cheeks. I couldn't keep doing this to myself, I knew that. I only realized after it was done how stupid I was for even thinking of such a masochistic outlet to find my release. I didn't want to die, or at least not completely. Yeah, I was suicidal, but not to the extent of wanting to bleed to death.

I'm not exactly sure how I found out about cutting. Knowing me, I probably read it in a book. But I was desperate. There wasn't any other way to punish myself in a pleasurable way! Nothing in the world made me feel as satisfied, yet guilty like the cutting did. Finally, I stepped out of the shower, making sure all the blood was washed down the drain to remove all traces of what I just did. I wrapped myself in a towel, admiring my self-inflicted injuries.

After drying myself, I put on my clothes, which consisted of a pair of blue jeans, another oversized, knit sweater that was a dark blue, and my dark brown boots. Brushing my long locks, I twisted it up into a bun since it was still wet, and left the bathroom.

Just as I was about to head to my room, Emily came up around the corner, her arms folded across her chest. Her face looked serious, yet sympathetic, and her eyes were red from the crying yesterday. "We need to talk." She said.

Following closely behind her, we both took seats at the kitchen table, where it was obvious all serious discussions were, and would be held. "Raegan, I know you've had a week off and probably don't want to do this, but you need to go to school." She said carefully. I stared at her. "I signed you up in La Push High School. I know its October and you probably feel like everyone has already made friends, but you need to go anyway. You will start Monday, and since it's Saturday right now, you have about 2 days to prepare yourself. I bought all of your school supplies, and I was thinking, maybe you and I, and Paul, can go shopping for new clothes."

Of all the things that she was saying, only one made me backtrack. "Wait, Paul? Why would he have to come?"

"He's a senior, but he has some junior classes because he's…well, he's Paul. So you guys will probably see a lot of each other, and I want you both to get well acquainted. So you will already have a friend." Emily explained, looking at me nervously. There was obviously something she was not telling me. "Okay." I said after a few seconds. Emily looked up at me, surprised by my response. "Okay? That's it? No argument, no fighting? You're okay with this?"

"Yup."

"You're not mad at me for doing all this so suddenly?"

"Nope."

"Um…okay, well that was easier than I first thought. Now, here's the second thing I needed to talk to you about. I was wondering…well, after our talk yesterday…"

I froze. I thought we were past all this already! "…I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, see someone about this. Professionally."

"Like…Like a therapist?"

"No, no, think of it as a friend who is going to try and help you past this. I think it would be a good idea, don't you?"

I shook my head hurriedly. Did she realize how hard it was for me yesterday? Now she wants me to tell a complete stranger about what happened? "No, I'm fine. I don't need to see anyone." I said hurriedly. She looked at me with narrowed, worried eyes. "Are you sure, sweetie? There's no shame in wanting to talk it out with someone…."

"Aunt Emily, thank you, so much. For caring. But I don't need to see anyone. I've dealt with this all these years without having to see anyone, and I don't now, especially that I'm here. See, I'm okay!" I explained, putting on the fakest smile I could muster. Buying it, she nodded her head. "You promise me you will come to me if you feel like you need to talk?"

"Of course, Aunt Emily."

"Okay, well, pour yourself some cereal…or I could make you breakfast! Do you want eggs or something?"

"Cereal's fine with me."

"Alright, then…well, Paul will be here soon to pick us up to go to the mall-Oh, there he is now!"

Aunt Emily ran to the front door, opening it for Paul to come in. And there he was, in all his 6'7" glory, wearing a pair of khaki cutoffs and a tight, black v neck that outlined all his muscles. If I wasn't so creeped out by a lot of his behavior, I would probably be drooling. I quickly turned away, pouring Rice Krispies into a bowl, no milk, and sat back down at the table. He caught sight of me, despite the fact that I was solely focused on my cereal, and the familiar, wide, bright grin spread across his features. "Hi, Raegan. Whatcha got there?" he asked, sounding way too curious. I blushed. "Cereal."

"What kind?"

"Umm…Rice Krispies?"

He nodded, his grin still plastered to his face, as I tried to turn his attention away from me. Emily clapped her hands together. "So, are you both ready for shopping?" she asked excitedly. I shook my head slowly, while Paul nodded nonchalantly. Suddenly, the question I had since I arrived here rose, and I found the courage to ask. "A-Aunt Emily? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure!"

"Um…at my old school, they had an orchestra…I, um, I played violin…I didn't own one, because, ya know…so I was wondering…"

"You want to play violin here?"

I nodded my head hopefully, afraid of her response. She smiled happily. "Well, of course, Rae! I told you I want you to be happy here. There's a music store that's a few miles away from the mall. Paul, could you take us there after we go shopping?"

"Of course."

"Oh, no, you don't have to buy me one…"

"Nonsense! If you play, you should own one. No big deal. There's an orchestra at La Push High, I'm sure you could play for them!"

Relieved that this went smoothly, for the first time, I really smiled. "Thank you, a lot, Aunt Emily. It means…well, a lot." I said nervously. Enrapturing me in a surprising hug, I had no choice but to hug back.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

To say it was awkward on the way to the mall wouldn't be completely covering it. Aunt Emily had volunteered to sit in the back, so I sat up front with Paul. He kept sneaking glances at me, a happy smile on his face the whole ride. Neither of us made any attempt to start conversation, so when we finally got there, I let out a huge breath of air I didn't realize I was holding. "So, Raegan, where would you like to start?"

"Um…I've never really been shopping before…"

"What? Never been…Oh! Oh, I'm sorry! Okay, well there are a bunch of cute little stores around here. Let's see if anything catches your eye."

I nodded, kind of wishing to go back to the house already. Aunt Emily skipped up ahead, leaving Paul and I behind her. "So, you don't like shopping, huh?" he asked. I nodded, still not really looking at me. "Well, what do you like?"

"Books."

"Well, I think we established that when we went out to lunch. You know, I actually started reading 'Animal Farm'."

That caught me by surprise. "R-Really?" I asked timidly. He nodded. "Yeah. It's kind of confusing, because I keep on having to replace the characters with who they are supposed to represent in history. It's actually a good book because it's historical, you know?" he explained. I looked at him, dumbfounded. "You're really reading it?"

"Yeah! Why, are you surprised?"

"…Yes…"

"Why?"

"Well, I don't know…I didn't think you would really do it."

He looked at me with a smirk. "Well, I'm full of surprises." I simply nodded.

"Ooooh! Look, Rae, I found some cute blouses in this store that would look great on you!" Emily squealed. I pinched the bridge of my nose, praying inwardly to let this be over. Paul chuckled at me, making me blush terribly.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Paul's POV

We finally finished shopping, and we headed out of the mall. Climbing in my truck, Emily spoke excitedly about all the new clothes Raegan got, while Raegan just nodded along.

God, she was beautiful. Even when she was blushing. Her bashful personality made me want to get to know her even more. I wanted her to be more open. I wanted us to have a conversation that wasn't about books, although if that's all Raegan ever wanted to talk about, I would do it forever. Why was she so shy? Did I make her uncomfortable? I wanted to know so much about her. I could only hope she would one day be willing to share herself with me.

I remembered the old days, when I thought imprinting was for losers. I would hook up with as many random chicks as I could, never forming any emotional connections with them. I've had many, many girlfriends, but none of them were like Raegan in any way. I always thought my type would be blonde, big breasted, curvaceous women who wore clothes too small for their bodies. But Raegan wasn't like that at all. She was almost fairy-like in appearance, petite in all forms.

How could I have not wanted to imprint? I would always look at Sam and Emily, Kim and Jared in absolute disgust, repulsed by the idea of being 'pussy whipped'. But that's not how it was. Raegan didn't need to change me at all, because I was willing to change for her.

We finally pulled in to the music store, and Raegan, more excited than I ever saw her (although, to be serious, I only knew her for about a week) climbed out and practically ran inside. Emily and I carried on behind her.

Seeing Raegan's face when she opened the door to the store was something that would forever be engraved in my memory. An expression of excitement, delight, and bliss crossed her beautiful features, and I held onto this photogenic moment in my head to remember forever. "Oh my God, I love this!" she exclaimed happily, sounding absolutely tickled. Still in a daze from seeing this, I didn't notice her go upstairs to the string instruments section. "Paul?" asked a curious voice. Jumping in surprise, I saw that it was Emily, who was wearing a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "Why don't you go follow Raegan, I'll stay here and wait." She said, something in her voice I couldn't quite place. I nodded, gulping, and ran upstairs.

Searching for her, I heard a beautiful sound coming from the other side of the floor. Sad, melancholy, but overall mystical in quality, I looked over and saw Raegan, playing a cherry wood colored violin, pure focus in her blue-green eyes. Her mouth was ever so slightly agape as she played, her fingers flowing over the strings professionally. I stared at her, slack jawed, as she tuned out the world around her. The sad song that poured out of the instrument almost made me cry, which is something that never, ever happened. Finally, she put the violin down, and nodded her head in a pleased manner, as a consultant who was showing her the instruments spoke about pricing and care.

After about 15 minutes, Raegan ran up to me. "Hey," she said with a far-off voice, a smile on her face. "Hey, was that you playing?" I asked, knowing it was, and not really knowing why I asked. She nodded. "Yeah, I used to play since Elementary. Our school system had an arts program that didn't require you to pay any money to use the equipment, which definitely came in hand for me. If they didn't have that, I would have never gotten the chance to play."

"You were poor?"

Raegan froze in her step, and her smile disappeared. "Yes." She said quietly. Walking ahead of me, she went up to Emily at the register and they started talking.

Guilt hit me like a punch in the face. "_You were poor?' God, Paul, get it together. You don't ask questions like that!" _I mentally screamed at myself, wanting to punch myself.

Despite me feeling extraordinarily bad for my bluntness, I also felt a bit elated. I learned something about her. But what did it mean?


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you guys so, so much for your reviews! You all make this worth it, and feedback is really helping me get this story going! Keep reviewing!

Chapter 5: Never Say Never

Raegan's POV

The ride home with Paul wasn't as awkward as it was going to the mall. I practically begged Emily to sit in the front so I could sit in the back, which confused her and made her a bit disappointed. When Paul saw me buckle myself in the backseat, an expression of hurt flashed across his features, and I immediately felt guilty. "Thank you so much, Aunt Emily. For everything. You have no idea how much this means to me." I said emotionally. She turned around and squeezed my knee, replying that it was no problem. Suddenly, I got the courage to thank Paul too, his hurt-puppy look too much for me to bear. "And, t-thank you Paul. It was fun." I said quietly. A smile danced across his face, and for a minute, the guilty weight was relieved.

For a split second, I felt happy that he was happy. What the hell? Why was I happy that he was happy? We…We weren't even really friends! "So, are you excited to go to school, Raegan?" Paul asked, a bit of nervousness in his tone. "Oh, yeah, um, I guess. It's just school, you know?" I replied, mentally slapping myself for sounding like such a stuttering idiot. "Well, you should definitely get involved in some extra curriculars. I know when you were younger you really liked gymnastics and stuff, always doing roundoffs or cartwheels. They have a cheerleading team, maybe you want to go out for that! Oh, and Kim, Jared's…girlfriend…she plays soccer. You could do that. They also have a book club, you love reading! And-"

Tuning out the sound of my aunt's voice, I thought about what she said. Cheerleading? I was constantly harassed by the cheerleaders at my old school. But, this was a new beginning, I was in a new atmosphere where people didn't know me, I had clothes that weren't from a clothing drive or the Salvation Army, and they didn't have to know about my horrible past. Maybe, even if I didn't do cheerleading, I could take Aunt Emily's advice, and really start participating. Plus, if I wanted to get any form of scholarship for college, I really needed to start getting involved. I had the grades, but it took more than that.

"You know, Aunt Emily, t-that's a really good idea. I'm going to do orchestra, but I should join a club and a sport, too. Paul, what do you suggest?" I asked, shocking myself that I asked for his opinion at all. He seemed somewhat shocked too. "W-Well, um, the La Push girl's soccer team is pretty good. Our cheerleading team, or squad, or whatever it's called, is okay too. And they have, like, um…they have student council, and book club, like Emily said, and they have the robotics club, and media club. I don't really know much else, I'm not a, you know, big club person or anything." Paul explained sheepishly. Emily laughed. "What Paul's saying is that he's not a school person in general." She said with a chuckle, making Paul glare at her from the corner of his eye. "I, um, would really like to get involved and stuff, for college. So maybe I'll do orchestra, robotics, media club, and I can try out for soccer and cheerleading." I replied. Emily raised an eyebrow at me. "Raegan, don't you think that's a bit, I don't know, much? You should set some time for yourself, sweetie." She said, sounding concerned.

I internally scoffed. Having to pay bills since middle school, work, go to school, and keep child protective services away from my mom taught me one thing: multitasking. Clubs, sports, and school would be nothing. "Well, I really want a nice, fresh start. I didn't really have the opportunity to do too much at my old school in South Dakota." I said quietly, but confidently. I saw Paul looked slightly taken back in the rearview mirror. "What do you mean? You…You didn't join clubs in your last school?" he asked. Emily tensed, and I blushed horrendously. "Um, I-I really didn't have the time."

"Why?"

Emily, luckily stepped in to save the day. "Raegan was working really hard on her studies, right kiddo?" she said. I nodded, still feeling embarrassed. Paul must have caught on, and he raked a nervous hand through his short, dark hair. "I'm, uh, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. That wasn't my intention." He stated seriously. I waved him off, wearing a fake smile to show him I wasn't bothered.

We finally got home, and Paul made some weird excuse about having to go to 'work'. Emily muffled a laugh, and I knew there was probably some inside joke about what he said that I wasn't getting. Taking my shopping bags and my new violin in to my room, I went back to the kitchen where Emily was starting to cook dinner. "Aunt Emily?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you want me to be friends with Paul so badly?"

She turned to look at me, struggling to find words to say. "Look, Raegan, Paul…Paul is really looking for a friend. And I figure you could use one as well. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. Aunt Emily?"

"Mhhm?"

"Do you really think if I do that many extra-curriculars, it will be too much?"

She closed her eyes, and wore a cautious smile. "Raegan, I know that you have had to carry a lot of responsibilities, since Sandra wasn't able to. You didn't have the opportunity to be a kid, and I want to make sure you get that here. Don't feel like you have to carry the world on your shoulders. You don't have to join every club in the school to get into college, and you don't need to join any in order to win my praise. Because I'm already so proud of you, Rae. I want to make sure you are able to be a regular teenager." She explained, care dripping on every word.

I was so touched, and overall knocked off of my feet, I wrapped her in a hug. She quickly embraced me back. Suddenly, the front door opened, and Sam walked to the kitchen. "Whoa, what happened here?" he said, a smile on his usually stern face.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Sam, Emily's husband, kind of scared me.

I don't really know why, he seemed really nice, and Aunt Emily loved him to bits, and he showed that he loved her too, possibly even more.

But he kind of looked like Jesse.

He had a really stern, scary looking face, and he was really huge. You could tell he was a serious guy, and that he didn't take crap from anyone. Jesse didn't take crap from anyone, either.

Sam smiled warmly at me. "I'm happy to see that you've finally come around, Raegan. Your Aunt was really worried you wouldn't." he said happily. I blushed, shrinking away from Emily's hug. "Y-Yeah, well, I guess it was about time." I laughed nervously, probably sounding like a complete idiot. "Well, I don't know if you are interested, but there's a bonfire tonight, and like always, we are all invited. Would you like to come, Raegan?" he asked gently. I nodded my head, not wanting to refuse.

I got dressed in one of my new outfits, which was dark wash skinny jeans, a purple Aeropostale hoodie, and a pair of grey Converse sneakers. I left my hair down, my natural dark waves reaching the middle of my back.

Emily, Sam and I headed out, both of them complimenting my new outfit (despite it being casual) and we arrived at a place called First Beach. Since it was evening, the sun was starting to set, and a beautiful swirl of colors cast over the sky, looking like a painting. I jumped out of the car and helped Emily carry the several aluminum pans of food, and we walked towards a tent looking structure.

The closer we got, the more I realized it consisted of everyone I saw more than a week ago, the first day I arrived here. Seth ran over to me, taking two pans off my hands. "Hey! Nice to see you could make it, cuz! I was hoping you would!" he exclaimed happily. I couldn't keep the smile off my face, his childlike attitude was so entertaining. "Hey, Seth. Who else is here? Not that I really know anyone, but whatever…" I trailed off. He let out a booming laugh, and started making hand gestures to point out who everyone was, pointing out all the couples, a cousin I apparently had named Claire, the Elders, and the people to avoid, which was basically Leah and a girl named Bella. "Is…Is Paul here?" I asked shyly. He looked up at me with a smirk. "Yup. Why are you asking? Does someone have a crush?" he asked sneakily, dragging out 'crush'. I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help the blush on my cheeks.

Seth led me to the group, introducing me although I had seen them before. "She lives!" a guy Seth told me was Embry, said dramatically. I blushed, he must have been talking about me locking myself in my room the last week. "Knock it off, Embry. I'm Kim. I heard from Emily you are gonna try out for the school soccer team!" she exclaimed. I nodded, still a bit uncomfortable. "Well, good, we could totally use a better offense. Our last girl quit." She said with a laugh.

Soon, Kim and I were talking like the girls I would see in movies, giggling at the antics of the guys and talking about school. I really hoped we would be friends. We were both juniors, along with Seth, and two boys named Collin and Brady. She even invited me to sit with her. Soon, a man named Billy told us to gather around the fire to hear the legends.

I sat down next to Jared and Kim, as they held hands and kissed like the couples I would read about in all my books, and I couldn't help but feel slightly envious. Jared looked at Kim like she was his only reason for living, like she was the most beautiful girl in existence. I kind of wished someone looked at me like that.

Suddenly, the log I was sitting on grew heavier, and I noticed a huge shadow. Looking up, I saw that Paul had sat down next to me. "Hey," he whispered, a smirk on his face. I smiled back in spite of myself. "Are you hungry?" he asked, and I nodded. Grabbing my hand, he took me underneath the tents, where there were pans and pans filled with hot dogs and burgers, chips, and other foods. I went for the salad and a hamburger. Looking at Paul's plate, I kind of wondered if he was starved at home, since he took huge amounts of everything, having to carry it on two separate plates and towered to the max. We both headed back over to the bonfire, and taking a seat, I started to pick at my salad. Meanwhile, Paul ate like t"What?" he asked with his mouth full, making me laugh. He smiled at me, and continued to chow down on his…meal. Suddenly, I heard a sarcastic, mean laugh. "Aw, Raegan! How nice of you to join us. I see you ditched your anorexic tendencies for actual big girl food. How inspiring!" said the nasty, mean voice I realized was Leah. I blushed, turning my attention away from her, trying to ignore her hurtful words. Paul…growled…next to me, his frame shaking. What the hell? "Get the hell out of here, Leah, God! Stop being such a colossal bitch!" he yelled in his deep, rough voice, making me tremble in the fear of his anger. She laughed with a roll of her eyes. "Aw, what, someone's a little offended because I insulted their little _girlfriend?_ Aw, Paul, that's too cute. Why don't you tell her, Paul? Tell her the truth?" she said with a mean chuckle. Paul's frame shook even more if that was possible, and I started to grow more afraid. Deciding to test something, I placed my small hand on his arm, holding it there until he stopped shaking. Leah looked absolutely livid, but I continued to keep my hand there. "It's okay, Paul. It's okay." I whispered. He turned to look at me, his eyes wide, and Leah huffed. "L-Leah, I think it's time for you to go." I said quietly. Much to my surprise, she turned around and left.

"Thank you, Raegan. For calming me down." He said quietly. "No big thing. She knows just how to get under people's skin, doesn't she?" I replied, a small reassuring smile on my face. He smiled brightly, and just as he was about to say something, Billy began to tell the stories.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The stories were actually really interesting. I really liked history, so as Billy skillfully passed down these oral heirlooms, I couldn't help but wonder how people came up with such ideas. Perhaps wolves were very common in La Push, and the ancestors decided to try to spin it into a story.

"So, did you like them?" Paul asked, his eyes hopeful. I nodded. "They were really cool. Your ancestors must have had big imaginations." I said honestly. He laughed, and I had a feeling it was one of the infamous inside jokes so many of these people down in La Push had. "Well, it's getting late, I should probably try and find Aunt Emily and Sam." I said nervously, but he kept staring at me. Growing wary, I snapped my fingers in front of his face, and I caught his attention. "Um…Paul? I-I said I need to go." I said quietly. He nodded, and just as I was about to turn away, he grabbed my hand. "Raegan?" he asked. I nodded. "Can I…Can I give you a hug?"

Unsure, I nodded slowly with questioning eyes, I stepped closer to him, and he wrapped his huge, muscular arms around me, having to bend down to reach since he was so much taller than I. After a few minutes, I started to grow tense, and pulled away. "W-Well, I had a good time. Bye!" I said hurriedly, scurrying off to find my guardians.

Not really paying attention to where I was going, I bumped right into a hard body. "Ugh," I groaned. The figure helped me up, and I realized it was Sam. "You alright there?" he asked seriously. I nodded, still kind of cautious since he intimidated me a lot. He grinned, and we headed back to the car. "Where's Aunt Emily?" I asked quietly. "She's talking to Billy. But I actually want to talk to you about something." He stated. Climbing in the back seat, and he in the driver's seat, he turned towards me. "I don't want you to tell your aunt I told you." He said seriously. Trusting and fearful, I nodded, gulping nervously. He took a deep breath. "Emily…Emily told me about your mom and Jesse."

I froze, but then quickly shook it off. I had a feeling she would tell him, and even though I felt a little hurt she didn't exactly keep our promise. "…Oh…"

"Yeah…don't be mad, she was just really upset, and I caught her on the internet and researching on how to handle…the situation."

I took a breath and ran a shaky hand through my hair, nodding. "Well, I can't really be mad."

"What?"

"I mean, you're her husband. It would have come out sooner or later." I said quietly. He smiled slightly, but then grew back to being serious. "Raegan, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry you had to go through all that. But know that that will never happen again, and you don't need to be afraid. Especially not of me."

I looked at him, slightly bewildered. "Huh?"

"I realize that I'm a male…and I can look intimidating, but I would never do anything like that. My dad…my dad used to beat on my mom a lot before he ran off. I wouldn't ever hurt anyone like that. On purpose." He explained. I nodded, kind of thankful that he shared something that personal with me, now that he knew my whole life story. "And…you know…anything that we can do to make you more comfortable here…I'd be happy to do….I mean, I know I'm a guy, but you are Emily's niece and now in our care, so whatever makes you happy….I mean, I even buy Emily tampons, when it's that time of month…" he stammered, making me giggle at his words. "Don't worry Sam, I won't ask you to do anything like that." I said with a smile. Letting out a deep breath, he laughed. "Good."

When we got home, I collapsed in my bed, absolutely exhausted from the day. Shopping, spending time with Paul and Emily, going to the bonfire, the brief altercation with Leah, Seth teasing me about a crush I don't think I have, Sam sharing a really important piece of information with me, and Paul giving me the most loving hug I ever had invaded my thoughts the rest of the night.

A/N: That's it for Chapter 5! Review, review, review!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Chapter 6 guys! Woot woot! Review!

Chapter 6: The Memory

WARNING: SOMEWHAT GRAPHIC

"_Oh, Jesus, you're so sexy." He whispered in my ear, his hot breath making me shiver not from anticipation, but disgust and hatred. "I hate you, I hate you!" I screamed. He merely chuckled, his body closing in on mine as he straddled my hips. "You know you love this, and if you don't, you will learn!" he snapped. My face contorted into one of rage and anger, I spit my saliva straight into his face. His face twisted from one of agitation to one of red hot anger. Out of nowhere, I saw his hand fly up, and only merely seconds later, I felt the sharp sting of a slap, and heat on my cheek. I let out a cry as he slapped me again. "You stupid slut, you think you're so tough? What's with you, all the sudden, you never fought back all these years…" he whispered cunningly. Tears ran down my cheeks, I tried gasping for air but I was far too hysterical to think clearly. "Boo hoo hoo, the spoiled little bitch is sad." He said with a mocking chuckle, and I let out another cry. He ripped off my shirt like an animal, and unhooked my bra despite my protest. "Oh, baby, no need to hide. Daddy just wants to take a good look at ya," he said with a drunken laugh. I screamed in frustration, trying to wrench my wrists away from his hands that were keeping me stuck to the mattress. "I hate you! I hate you! You aren't my father!" I yelled. His face grew red and his nostrils flared. "You know, I was always nice enough not to take you for myself! All I ask if that you let me have a little fun!" he growled. His slobbery lips cascaded down my collarbone in drunken kisses, and my cries grew louder. Using one free hand, he maneuvered my jeans off with skill that came from a lot of practice, and shoved his hand down my panties. My cries grew more fearful, and I blacked out._

"Wake up, sweetie, wake up! Please!" shouted a feminine voice. I sat up in my bed with a start, gasping for air. I ran a hand through my hair which was soaked with sweat, and wiped away tears I didn't know were there. Emily sat next to the bed looking frightened. "R-Rae?" she asked quietly. "What…What happened?" I asked in a raspy voice, although I already knew the answer. I searched around my room, and saw that Sam was standing in the doorway looking sympathetic. "Sweetie, you had a nightmare. I heard you screaming down the hall. Are you alright?" she asked softly. Embarrassed and shaken, I ran past her and Sam and locked myself in the bathroom.

I instantly knew what I needed, and I knew if I didn't have it soon, I would go into a panic attack. I ransacked through the caddy that hung in the shower, and found my release, my relief. Desperately, I slid the blade across my arms. Small splurges of calm overwhelmed me as I continued with shaky hands. "_Control…it's all about the control."_ I thought to myself, as I imbedded another wound on my milky white flesh. Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door. "Raegan? You okay in there?" said a voice I instantly recognized to be Sam's. "Y-Yeah, sorry, I'll be out in a minute!" I exclaimed, rushing to put the razor back and wash off my arm.

Once I opened the door, I wished I had stayed inside the bathroom. Sam was staring at me seriously with his buff arms crossing his chest. "Everything okay?" he asked sternly. I nodded my head, not able to look at him in the face, and skidded by him. "Raegan, we are not done talking about this!"

"Please, Sam, I don't want to talk. I'm fine, it was just a stupid nightmare."

Catching up with me easily, he spun me around, hand on my shoulder. "Raegan, I'm serious. We can't just avoid this. I don't know how it worked in your household, but here, we talk it out, whether you want to or not."

That struck a serious nerve. The mention of my mother's poor parenting that I was desperately trying to forget brought about hurt feelings. "Raegan, I'm sorry-"

"It's okay, I'm fine. Can I please go back to bed?" I said in a monotone voice, trying to void myself of emotion. After a few seconds of skeptical staring, I squeezed past him, and locked myself in my room, making my best effort to pretend this had never happened.

XXXXXXXXXX

Paul's POV

I woke up extra early, wanting to spend as much time with Raegan as possible. I took a shower, not even checking to see if it was hot or cold, and threw on a pair of khaki cutoffs and a white v neck, along with a pair of sneakers. I was surprised that I was actually wearing shirts now, although I knew why. I didn't want Raegan to feel uncomfortable, which was something easy to do, especially with as bashful and quiet as she was. I practically whistled as I walked to the house that was only a few blocks away, absolutely elated.

The minute I walked through the door, I could tell something was wrong. My smile fell off my face in a matter of seconds, as I saw Sam and Emily deep in conversation, looking concerned. "Is everything okay?" I asked. Sam pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath, and nodded. "Everything's fine, Paul. Why don't you go see if Raegan's awake?" Emily said softly. Nodding, I headed down the hall, sending a last suspicious glance at them. They seemed really worried, should I be? Did it have to do with Raegan?

I finally reached her room, and knocked on the door tentatively. No answer. Just as I was about to knock again, the door opened a crack. "You…You can come in." she said in an emotionless voice, completely catching me off guard. Walking in, I saw her with an encyclopedia-sized book, her face completely buried in, with the exception of her eyes that stared at me as I made my way over to her desk, sitting in the chair. After a few minutes of silence, she continued to read, sending me glances occasionally. I made myself comfortable, and then remembered I brought 'Animal Farm' with me. Taking it out of my back pocket (where it surprisingly fit), I quickly flipped to the page I folded, and although I was much more interested in staring at Raegan, I made it my best effort to not make her uncomfortable. "Y-You shouldn't fold the page l-like that." She said quietly. Looking up at her, she shrunk under my gaze, eyes still focused on the book. "What?" I asked hopefully. She looked back up at me nervously, then back at the book. "The p-page. You s-shouldn't fold it like that." She whispered. Even with my enhanced hearing, I had to lean in to her what she said. "Well, how will I know where I stopped reading?" I asked curiously. Looking at me with a slight amused expression, she quickly averted her eyes. "I-I don't know…a book mark?" she said quietly, although I sensed the slightest bit of sarcasm in her voice. I smiled brightly. "Well, I don't have one."

"Make one."

"How do I do that?"

Getting up from her position on the bed, she went over to where I was sitting, and after a few minutes sleft over from Emily's annoying scrapbooking days. Without a word, she tour the paper neatly in half, folding the slip into a ruler sized shape. She grabbed a black permanent marker, and after shielding her writing away from me, she pushed the paper in front of me. In blocky, cartoon-like letters, the blue paper read 'Paul's Bookmark', and a little drawing of a book was underneath it.

I don't know why, but I was touched. My imprint, who barely even spoke to me, just made me something. Even though it was a bookmark, it was of her own creation, and she did it willingly. I stared down at the bookmark with cheerful eyes, eternally grateful and happy. She made me a bookmark! "Thank you!" I exclaimed. She took a step back, obviously taken back by my excitement of such a small token, and blushed. "It's…It's just a bookmark." She whispered, a giggle threatening to come out. She climbed back onto the bed, grabbing her book and raising it so she could begin reading, but still stared at me. I held the bookmark in my hand, absolutely elated. Turning away, she started to read. "_No! Don't go away, once you start reading, I probably won't get you back!"_ I thought to myself desperately. Hurriedly trying to come up with an idea for conversation, I racked my brain for something interesting to say. "A-Are you excited to start school tomorrow?" I squeaked, sounding like a complete nerd. She raised an eyebrow at me, but it looked like she was seriously thinking about the question. "Yes…and no." she said sounding pensive. "Why?" I asked. Was she afraid? Did she like school? Did she not? Struggling to find words to say, she sighed exasperatedly. "I-It's hard to…explain."

"Why?" Jeez, I was starting to sound like a little kid.

"Is it really possible to tell someone else what one feels?" she said with a far off look. What the fuck did that mean? "What does that mean?" I asked. An amused, but small smile crossed her features. "It…It means exactly what it says…it's just an opinion. Leo Tolstoy, 'Anna Karenina'." She explained, looking at me like I was an idiot, which I definitely was.

"Who?"

"L-Leo Tolstoy. He was a Russian writer. One of his most famous works was 'Anna Karenina'. I'm reading his book right now, 'War and Peace'." She stated. Oh my God, she was so smart. So, so very smart.

And I was incredibly dumb.

Looking at me with a blush, a smirk, and a raised eyebrow, I felt suddenly very inferior. I really needed to step up my game. Unlike other girls I won over, flashing my muscles and dimpled grin wasn't going to impress her. But brains just might do it.

Unfortunately, I had gotten so lost in my head, she had already gone back to her book. "So…um, what are you looking forward to about school?" I stammered. Looking back up with a sigh, she placed the book down and turned her body to face me. "I, I don't know…I guess maybe the actual work." She said honestly. I gulped, I probably should have guessed she was going to be a school-person. "What's your favorite class?"

"English and History. I can't choose. Um…how about you?"

"You know, I've never really liked school…if lunch was a class, it would probably be my favorite."

Giggling, much to my surprise, she rolled her eyes. "S-So you like the idea of eating old, reheated freeze-dried food with large crowds of people?" she asked. My eyes widened. "No! I mean, I just like the idea that I don't have to work. Like, it's probably the only time in my day I don't get assigned something I don't understand. You sit down, eat, and leave. It's something you can count on, because it doesn't change." I explained, hoping she understood what I was saying. Slowly nodding, she kind of smiled at me. "Y-You know, it actually kind of makes sense. You like consistency, and I guess in high school, where that's you can either accept change or hate it, it's the one thing that's reliable, the one thing you absolutely know will happen." She replied.

Oh my God, was she really coming out of her shell right now? Was I making her comfortable around me? I nodded dumbly at her, still trying to grasp the idea that she was actually acknowledging what I was saying as something she 'understood'. Trying to hide my smile, I pressed my hand over my mouth. "So, are you really going to sign up for all those clubs and stuff that you said yesterday?"

"W-Well, I'd like to try. But…Aunt Emily says I shouldn't."

"How come? Aren't extra-curriculars supposed to be, like, good on your college applications and stuff?"

Raegan smiled at me. "That's what I've been trying to tell her! But she thinks it's going to consume my whole life and that I'm not going to have time to myself. I've dealt with a lot more on my plate then just a few extra clubs..." She said, trailing off at the end of her sentence. I tried to ignore the way she said it, but I knew I would wonder about it for a while. "Well, I think you should do whatever it is that you feel is best. And if you decide that sports and clubs are your thing, then go ahead. And if they aren't, they aren't. As long as it makes you happy." I explained, kind of proud of myself. Smiling even wider now, she nodded her head. "T-Thanks, Paul. Maybe this friendship thing won't be so hard after all."

My happiness was quickly replaced by confusion. "Friendship thing?" I asked, trying not to get angry. Sensing my mood, she averted her eyes, her smile faltering. "Y-Yeah, Emily told me I should, um, probably get to know someone who would go to my school, so I-I could have a…friend." She explained. Feeling stupid that I thought it was a bad thing, I practically had to sit on my hand to keep me from facepalming. "Oh! Okay, sorry, I just thought…"

"Yeah…"

Starting to feel nervous now that conversation had taken an awkward turn, I started talking again. "Well, what else do you like? Besides school." I said. She glanced up, startled by my interruption of the silence. "I, um, I like violin." She said quietly. I didn't play any instruments, and I had skipped music class since school started, so I didn't really know what to ask. "So, what music do you like?"

"I-I like classical music, older music, like big-band and ragtime, and I like jazz, I like…you're going to laugh at me." She said, mumbling the last part. "I promise I won't."

"…Promise?..."

"Pinky promise."

"I, I like soft rock. Not metal or anything, but the nice kind. Folk rock." She said softly. Surprised, but not at all teasing, I grinned. "Cool." I said genuinely. Her eyes bore into mine, searching for any signs that I was lying, but she must have liked what she saw because she turned her head away, blushing and biting her bottom lip with the tiniest smile. "H-How about you?"

"What about me?"

"W-Well, um, tell me about _your_self…"

Trying to hide my inner squealing little girl at the fact that she was curious about me, I cleared my throat. "Well, my last name is Lahote, for starters. I don't really do the, um, *cough* school thing, but I like science. Even though I don't really have good grades in it. I like rock music too, but more alternative stuff, like Green Day, and Blink 182. I don't play any instruments or anything, but I like the outdoors and stuff." I explained, trying to muffle my snicker at my last statement. She nodded her head, obviously approving. As happy as I was that she wanted to know more about me, I couldn't help but feel the slightest bit of doubt that she really did; maybe she just felt obligated. And I also wasn't nearly as interested in talking about myself as I was hearing about her.

Suddenly, my curiosity...with everything about her…overrode me. "Why do you like books so much?" I asked before I could stop myself. Startled, she blinked a few times before sighing softly. "W-Well, what's not to like?" she said, almost defensively. I would have thought she was mad if I didn't see her pouty lips flicker into a smile. "Nothing! Nothing's wrong with books. I'm just curious."

Looking conflicted, she let out a deep breath. "I, I don't know, I guess they are an escape, if that makes sense." She replied.

"Escape from what?"

Raegan stiffened noticeably, sucking in air and her mouth forming a grim line. "Things." She practically seethed, although I could tell she was trying to sound nonchalant. I didn't press the issue, not wanting to make her anymore upset.

Which led me to trying to apologize in the best, and only way I knew would possibly work.

I braced myself and did a silent prayer. "So, what's 'War and Peace' about?"

A smile lit up her face, and the walls of shyness and lack of comfort fell down as she chattered away.

A/N: On to chapter 7! Review guys!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Here's chapter 7, y'all! Hope you enjoy, and remember to review!

Chapter 7: Taking Chances

Raegan's POV

I woke up from a great slumber, probably one of the best I had ever had. Paul and the rest of Sam and Emily's friends had joined us for dinner last night, and I had a really good time. Leah didn't show up, and I asked about it (much to the surprise…of well, everyone), so it was a very mellow, tension free atmosphere. I sat between Paul and Kim, and both of them argued with each other as they unintentionally interrupted one another as they spoke to me, both trying to grasp my attention. Kim was very nice, and I could tell her boyfriend, Jared (who was also very nice) really loved her. We both talked about me starting school, even though it was mostly her talking, and soccer team tryouts. Paul and I basically spoke about anything he brought up, which was usually something very random, and an attempt to learn more about me.

Paul.

I don't really understand what was wrong with me. In the last week, he had gotten me to come out of my shell more than anyone has ever done before. And the point was, he tried. I really liked being friends with him, he was really fun to talk to, and he's probably one of the few people who I've had full blown conversation with. He always looked interested in what I had to say, although I gathered from some of the conversations we've had, he probably had no clue what I was talking about. But it was the thought that counted. As weird as it was to say and believe, he always looked at me like I meant something, and I wasn't really sure how to feel about that. But the point was, I liked him a lot, and I can only hope he thinks of me as a friend as well.

Stretching in my bed, I took a shower, and put on one of the outfits I bought, which consisted of a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a white collared button up, a green and off-white striped cardigan, a light brown scarf, and brown moccasins. I left my long, dark waves down, and only added a little eyeliner. Deciding I looked nice for my first day of school for the first time. Walking somewhat confidently into the kitchen for breakfast, I saw Aunt Emily flipping pancakes, and Sam at the table, drinking coffee. Looking up, Emily put the pan down and she covered her mouth with her hand. After a few seconds of my confusion, she smiled brightly. "Well don't you just look like a little fashionista today?! Sweetie, you look awesome!" she exclaimed. I blushed, and gave her a good morning kiss on the cheek. She soon sat me down, placing a plate of chocolate chip pancakes and milk for me. I immediately thanked her for making breakfast, and began to eat. Sam was solely invested on his coffee and the newspaper, which only caught my attention because I saw he was reading an article about recent attacks in Seattle, whatever those were.

I started on my second pancake, when I felt a warm, hot hand on my shoulder. I jumped, almost spilling my glass of milk before the same hand caught it with super-fast reflexes. "Whoa there, just wanted to say good morning!" said the voice I realized was Paul. Looking up at him, my heart still on overdrive, he stared at me with concern and amusement in his eyes, his infamous smirk clear as day. I breathed out a good morning, and he plopped down in the seat next to you. "Paul is going to take you to school and back, is that okay?" Aunt Emily said to me. I nodded, much to Paul's delight, and felt my cheeks turn red as he stared at me as I ate. Finishing quickly, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Brushing my teeth, I looked at myself in the mirror, and suddenly, my eye caught the shower caddy. I immediately washed out my mouth, and reached inside, pushing loofa's and Emily's scented bath salts to find the razor blade. Grinning, I pushed the blade into my skin, making even, think red lines across my arm. I almost moaned at how good it felt, my self-inflected pain a reminder that I was in control. No one else.

I quickly made my way back to the kitchen, not wanting to look suspicious. I grabbed my messenger bag with all my supplies, said goodbye to Emily and Sam, and Paul and I left for school.

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The car ride wasn't all too pleasant. The minute we got in, he kept sending me worried glances, and I had a feeling they didn't have to do with it being my first day of school. I didn't know how to respond to them, so I just looked out the window. Paul had some classical music on the radio (what a coincidence), so I felt somewhat at ease.

We arrived at the school, and it wasn't much bigger than my old school back in South Dakota. I still gazed up at it, starting a new school was much more intimidating now than when I thought about it these last few days. "Cold feet yet?" Paul asked as he ran over to the other side of his truck to open my door. I carefully stepped out, my legs slightly wobbly from nervousness. "J-Just a little bit." I whispered to him. He flashed me a reassuring smile, which, if anything, made me shake a little more.

Paul led me to the office, where a bored-looking woman practically slapped my schedule in front of me, interrupting my introduction. Paul started to shake, his nostrils flaring and mouth in a tight line, but I laid a tentative hand on his bicep. "I-It's okay." I said softly. His shaking seized abruptly, and he sent me a…loving?...gaze.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that I was a junior with advanced classes and Paul was a senior with average and remedial classes, we didn't have many courses together. Much to my relief, we both had music, lunch, and study hall together, so at least I wouldn't be alone for 3 periods. He showed me to my first class, which was psychology, and assured me if anything was wrong or if someone made me feel bad, to tell him immediately. I assured him I would be fine, so with one last glance, he made his way to his own class.

Stepping in the class, I quickly introduced myself to the teacher, who looked like she could have cared less, and scurried to an empty seat. I didn't recognize anyone in this class, but suddenly, a slip of paper was pushed onto my desk. _Hey paleface_ was written on it in boyish, scribbled writing. I looked around, and noticed a boy in the back of me smirking playfully at me. He was somewhat attractive; only having a few splotches of acne and had a buzz cut. I blinked at him, turning back around to pay attention to the teacher when another slip of paper was placed on my desk. _You new?_ It asked. I crumpled up both pieces of paper when he wasn't looking, shoving them in my brown leather messenger bag. After a few minutes, I was happy to see he hadn't written me another one, when I heard a psst sound. I glanced back around, keeping a blank face but internally frustrated. "Yes?" I asked monotonously. He grinned. "My name is Tyler, Tyler Cross. What's yours?" he asked. Uncomfortable, but somewhat curious, I complied. "R-Raegan."

"Raegan?"

"Yes."

"Like Ronald Reagan?"

"….No."

And with that, the conversation died, and I continued to write down what the teacher was telling us. I felt a tap on my shoulder, but ignored it, and for the rest of class, I wasn't bothered.

Looking at my schedule in the hallway for my next class, I bumped into Kim. Looking pissed, she looked like she was about to chew me out, but then noticed it was only me and smiled genuinely. "So how's your first day so far?"

"…It's only been one period, but it's okay, I guess."

"Cool, so where are you off to now?"

"Um, I think I'm going to math with Ms. Stone."

"Awesome, Brady and I have that class, too! Come on!"

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Math class had been a lot of fun, Brady and Kim had argued about answers, and really just about anything. I was starting to get the feeling Kim was a bit defensive, but I didn't mind. We all left class, meeting up with Collin in the hallway on our way to lunch. Suddenly, I felt a finger tap my shoulder.

Turning around, I saw four girls, all dressed in different shades of pink and purple, wearing slightly provocative clothing. The girl I assumed touched poked my shoulder seemed to be the leader of sorts, wearing hot pink pumps with jeans tighter than a glove. She looked like many of the other girls on the reservation, but had faux blonde hair that was straightened to the extreme. "Hi! You must be the new student. I'm Sarah." She said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She thrusted her hand in front of me to shake, and timidly, I did. The other girls smiled at me in the same way their leader did, making me feel slightly uncomfortable. Sarah looked me up and down, scrutinizing me noticeably, when she looked back at my face with the same, crooked smile. "Well, you certainly have a lot of potential. Just a little bit of makeup and a new wardrobe, you will be the talk of the class! What did you say your name was?" she asked, despite the fact I never told her my name in the first place. "R-Raegan." I said quietly. Her face contorted into one of pity, and she turned back to the other girls, a laugh threatening to escape her lips. "Well, Raegan, is it? You should eat lunch with us today. That is, if you want to assure your place here." She stated. My eyebrow rose. "Um, sorry, b-but place where?" I asked. Her friends giggled behind her, and the same look of pity was on her face. "Aw, aren't you adorable? Place in high school, silly. Don't you want to be popular?" she asked.

To say I was put off was an understatement. Not quite angry, but not quite thrilled at the situation, I honestly didn't even feel like acknowledging her. "S-Sorry, I'm going to sit with my friends." I stated in a whisper. The smile fell right off of Sarah's face, and I immediately knew my honesty was a mistake. "I'm sorry, what was that?" she asked, looking as if I was playing a practical joke on her. My gaze lowered to the floor, and as much as I regretted what I said, I didn't change my answer. "I-I'm sorry, but I'm g-gonna sit with my friends." I stated, a little more boldly. She scoffed at me, staring me down. "Understand this: if you aren't my friend, you are my enemy." She said venomously, making me flinch in spite of myself. "I-I'm sorry you feel this way." I said softly. Just as I started to walk down the hall, she called my name. Turning around, her friends muffled their laughter as she wore a mean smile on her face. "Well, charity case, it looks like you chose your own fate. I look forward to see you get shoved into lockers!" she exclaimed with a nasally voice. I spun back around on my heel, ushering for my new friends to head to the cafeteria.

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"And then she was all like 'I'm sorry you feel that way', and I was all like 'Oh! Burn!'" Brady ranted, much to the amusement of everyone at the table. I blushed, not realizing how it looked from the bystanders. Paul hadn't shown up to lunch yet, but it was still early. Everyone that had been going to Aunt Emily's lately was sitting there: Jacob, Seth, Embry, Quil, Jared, Quil, Brady and Collin, and of course, Kim and I. "It was absolutely hilarious. The look on Sarah's face! You should have seen it!" Collin exclaimed. My blush darkened even more, chuckling at their praising. Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I saw the familiar huge, muscular, intimidating figure of Paul. I swiveled around in my seat, and saw that he was carrying a pile of books. Some appeared to be textbooks, one was definitely a dictionary, and the rest were literary works.

Unintentionally slamming them down on the table, Kim slid away from me to make room to Paul. As if she knew he would want to sit there…Anyway, everyone stared, slack jawed, as Paul said hello to me, then opened up 'Animal Farm', where the bookmark I made him was nesting between the pages.

Probably sensing the intensity of the gaping that was going on, Paul looked up from his book. "What?" he asked, slight annoyance in his tone. "Is that a…Is that a book?" Quil asked, an amazed smile spreading on his face. "Yes, is there a problem?" Paul replied between his teeth, threatening to lose his temper at any moment. Embry burst out laughing, which was quickly followed by Jacob, Collin, Seth, and Brady doing the same. "What?!" Paul seethed, looking ready to tear the book in his hands apart. "Oh, man, you are sooooo whipped!" Embry boomed, making everyone erupt all over again. I merely blinked; completely confused. Looking at Paul for answers, I turned my confused gaze to him, only to be ignored. "I AM NOT WHIPPED!" Paul shouted, making a majority of the cafeteria stop and stare at our table, much to my embarrassment. Embry chuckled again, shaking his head. "Dude, you're so whipped, you don't even realize you are. Come on, who are you trying to fool? Paul Lahote does not read books!" he said between fits of laughter. Paul's face became red with anger, and he stood up slowly. Carefully, I laid my hand over his, and slowly removed 'Animal Farm' from his death grip. Paul closed his eyes and took a deep breath, obviously trying to calm himself down, as I lightly squeezed his hand reassuringly. Apparently, Embry found this gesture even more hysterical, and tears were now pouring out of his eyes as he let out laugh after laugh. "Oh my God! You are such a _pussy!_" Embry shouted.

And that was about all it took for Paul to completely lose it. Wrenching his hand out of my light hold, he stormed out of the cafeteria like an angry bull, his whole body shaking so violently he started to blur. Instinctively, I started to get out of my chair, but Seth moved over to me, a heavy hand on my shoulder. "Not now. Paul needs some time to calm down." He said softly. I felt slightly hurt at the way Paul had completely shrugged me off, but I tried to understand.

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Paul's POV

Not able to control myself, I ran to the woods near the school, trying not to rip off my clothes as I removed them and phased. Now in wolf form, I began to take my frustration and anger out on the nearby trees and shrubbery, ripping everything I saw in my line of vision into shreds. "_Whoa there, calm yourself!"_

"_Dude, chill the fuck out!"_

"_Paul, I was only kidding-"_

I tuned out the thoughts and voices of my pack mates, my friends. They had come looking for me, probably not out of guilt, but out of the fear I would cause irreplaceable damage on my surroundings. As the most temperamental of the pack, I was used to the assumptions my friends made, partly because I knew these assumptions were no less than the truth. Embry stood away from me at a safe distance, which was probably the wisest thing to do. "_Listen, man, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"_

"_Don't even fucking dare to try and justify what you said, joke or not, asshole."_ I growled. He genuinely looked sorry, but I couldn't give less of a shit for an apology. Jared stepped towards me, his thoughts pensive and…pitiful? "_Paul, what's the real reason you got so offended? Why are you being more…studious all of the sudden?" _he asked with a voice that I already kind of told me he knew the answer. "_Fuck you all. Do you realize how hard this is for me? I'm…I'm trying so hard!" _I snapped. Jared looked at me sadly, and Embry's expression of guilt deepened. Jake, Quil, and Seth merely stayed in the background, watching all of this unfold. "_What is? Why are you trying?"_

"_Dude, you don't get it. Raegan is so…so perfect, and smart, and beautiful, and I don't have any of that. I'm not smart, I don't really have any talents, and I may be hot as hell but at the end of the day, that's not going to win over a girl like her. I don't deserve her."_ I thought quietly, my insecurities pouring out.

Quil had sent the others to leave, and I felt their minds leave my thoughts as they phased back. Quil rubbed his head into my back, his sorrow for my predicament evident. "_Listen, you may not be the best in school, you may not be able to play an instrument or even make a joke, and you are a really stubborn hothead-"_

"_What the fuck, Quil, shouldn't you be trying to make me feel better…?"_

"_Let me finish. You may be all of those things, but you are also one of the nicest guys I know, even if you don't show it all the time. You are brave, and you can be gentle when you want to be, and you are also a great friend. If you put emphasis on trying to show her Raegan these qualities, I assure you, you won't need to try so hard for her, because she will accept you as you are." _Quil explained. Looking at him with sad eyes, I sighed.

"_But Quil, what if she…what if she finds someone else? What if she finds a guy that does all the things I can't? A guy that knows a lot, makes her laugh, a guy who actually has plans for college? I, I couldn't take it. It's enough I'm pretty sure I'm going to be in the friendzone for a while, but I don't think I would be able to cope…"_

"_Dude. Do you hear yourself? You're Paul Lahote. You take shit from no one, and you are one of the toughest guys around, but with a really soft heart. The guy you are describing is basically you. As her protector, you will be whatever she wants you to be, and you will have to live with whatever that may be. But on the other hand, the closer you get, the stronger the pull of the imprint becomes. No guy is going to steal her from you, because you are the only guy truly meant for her."_

Feeling ten times better than I did when I arrived in the forest, I thanked him, and wondered off to change back in my clothes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I was just in time for music class, which I was excited about since it was one of the few courses I shared with Raegan. I walked in the classroom, completely puzzling my teacher since I hadn't seen her since September, and plopped down in a chair next to my imprint. "Hey, sorry I took off like that. I was upset." I whispered in her ear. A light blush coated her fair skinned cheeks, and she looked into my eyes. "A-Are you okay, Paul? You seemed so angry…" she trailed off, almost sounding sad. I nodded, giving her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about it, the guys were just being guys and I let it get to me. Not a big deal. So what are we doing in this class?" I asked quietly. She giggled, and started to explain the assignment to me.

Write the key signature of each note in each problem. Sounded easy enough, I mean, it was a pretty straight forward assignment, right?

Wrong.

I sat at the table, gripping my hair in frustration as I couldn't even do the first problem. Looking next to me, I saw Raegan was almost done, barely even taking time in between each note to think about the next one. I guess she must have noticed my appearance, and shifted her chair over closer to me. "See, all you have to do is remember the pitch translation table. Because this is treble clef…" she continued to explain, but I no longer heard her. She was very close to me. Her hair smelt like vanilla and coconuts, and her skin had the same lingering scent. He big, blue-green eyes stared into mine, full of innocence and warmth. Her small, pouty lips were hard to restrain from; every thought in my mind telling me to embrace them in my own. Her freckles gave her doll-like face a healthy look, emphasizing her facial features. And her beautiful, dark waves cascaded down her back in a soft way, almost too naturally, giving her a semi-exotic and different look.

"….Paul? Paul? Are you listening to anything I'm saying?" said a bell like voice with the slightest raspiness to it. Called to attention, I nervously cleared my throat and nodded my head. With a smirk, she moved my paper back over to me. "Good. You should be able to do this without a problem" She said with a satisfied sigh.

Shit.

I spent about 15 minutes filling in little scribbles to make it look like I had really answered the problems, but my hand writing was bad. The teacher wouldn't know, like I've said, I've never done work for this class before. The teacher, who I realized was pretty chill, let us talk quietly for the remainder of the period as she spoke to someone I assumed was her boyfriend over the phone, and I was grateful.

"So, how's your first day of La Push High School?" I asked curiously, wanting to hear every word. Unlike the response I hoped I would get, Raegan gave me a nervous shrug. "I-It's okay." She said quietly. My eyebrows furrowed together. "Only okay? No one made fun of you or anything, did they?" I asked, anger rising in me. Her reply made me even more anxious; she averted her gaze and didn't acknowledge the question. "No one did, did they?" I asked, my volume increasingly getting louder. She shook her head, trying to wave it off with a nervous smile. "I-It was probably nothing, just some stupid girls…"

"I want names, Raegan. Tell me who they are. I don't care if they are a boy, girl, hermaphrodite, I will give them a beat down for harassing-"

"Paul, it's alright, I'm fine. Her name was Sarah, that's all I know. She tried to get me to eat lunch with her but I turned her down, and she got upset. It wasn't a big deal."

Sarah? My Sarah? I mean, not _my_ Sarah, but the Sarah I used to date? I knew she was a bitch (which was partly the reason I broke up with her), but I didn't realize she was a bully, too. My temper flared inside me, my wolf instincts telling me to rip the slut to shreds, but instead, I just plastered a forced smile on my face.

"So, in 'Animal Farm', this Napolean guy…."

I trailed off, making Raegan's eyes light up in excitement of the new conversation. God, I loved her.

A/N: Onto chapter 8! Review people, review!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: On with chapter 8, folks! Review, review, review!

Chapter 8: I Got

Raegan's POV

The first day of school had gone by smoothly, overall, and Emily and I even made cupcakes in celebration of my new beginnings.

The next three weeks were pleasant as well, and it was hard to believe I had been staying with Aunt Emily and Sam for almost a month. Kim and I became really good friends, and we even acted like the girls I was always jealous of on TV, having sleepovers and doing our homework together, gossiping (mostly on her part) and giggling at the attractive guys in the latest magazines. Seth, Collin and Brady were like brothers to me, annoying, but overall awesome to be around. The rest of the guys and I got along really well, and I was slowly but surely making the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly. Aunt Emily, Sam and I acted like a real family, eating almost every meal together, and even playing Monopoly and watching movies together. I was really opening up around them; my original discomfort around Sam quickly ended as I saw how he treated my aunt, and I realized he was a very good man. Leah didn't really come around anymore, and I was honestly concerned, but no one made a show of missing her, so I kept my curiosity to myself.

I was doing great in school, and soccer and cheerleading tryout were nearing by the day. Kim and I planned to try out for both teams, constantly practicing moves and tricks and cheers in my backyard or my room. I was 1st chair in orchestra, which everyone was extremely proud of me for. I even joined media club and robotics like I said. My schedule was going to be hectic, I knew that, but it was worth it. My cutting was even decreasing, and I only felt the urge in the morning and before bed. I never imagined my life would be so perfect.

Then, there was Paul. Paul didn't feel like family to me. I always felt a strange pull to him, and that confused me because never in my life had I felt such a connection with anyone. He was always around me, which I didn't mind at all because I became much more comfortable with him. I was still timid around physical displays of affection, which I realized offended Paul at times, but I always tried to assure him it was me, not him. He would always look hurt when I would shy away from him, but it made the realization clear that despite the drastic changes to my life, I was always going to be damaged goods.

And that hurt me. A lot.

Hurting Paul's feelings was something I unconsciously did often, and I didn't know how to stop it. He told me I was his best friend, and although I reciprocated the feeling, it scared me. I knew nothing about maintaining a friendship, and what if he found out about what happened in South Dakota? Would he still want to be my friend? I knew it hurt him when I wouldn't hug him or let him put his arm around me, even though it was just friendly, and I knew it aggravated him to no end when he would ask about my mom or what it was like in SD, and I would quickly change the topic or ignore him. But I couldn't help it. I wanted to grasp onto what we had for as long as it could go.

Another thing that scared me was my feelings for Paul. I had no idea if he liked me more than a friend, but I knew that sometimes, I would get feelings about him. Noticing his handsome and god-like physique, or his kind, gentle ways when he was around me were not 'friend' thoughts. I was desperately trying to push them away, but it was becoming harder and harder as we spent more time with each other.

It was the night of Halloween. I had never celebrated any holidays before, since no one in my house would (except for this one time on Christmas, my mom gave me 10 dollars to order a pizza), and I was excited. Emily, Kim, and I had gone to a costume store and picked out what we were going to wear. Emily was going as a football player (much to my amusement), Kim had gone for a more risqué look and decided to be a slutty cop. I'm not even lying, that's what it said on the costume description. And I decided to dress up as Jane from Tarzan. Because guess who willingly volunteered to be the ape-like counterpart?

Paul!

I was practically shaking from anticipation as Paul drove me home from robotics club, an amused smile on his face as I jumped up and down in the passenger squeal. "Is someone a little excited?" he asked, and I let out a squeal as I clasped my hands together. "YES!" I exclaimed, laughing giddily as I thought of all the things that would be in store for the evening. Emily had planned a Halloween party, and then after (despite everyone's complaint of being too old), she said I could go trick-or-treating! He laughed as I stared out the window in a dreamy way, observing all the Halloween decorations on the small houses around the reservation. "I hope they give me candy when I go to the houses." I sighed happily. Paul's eyebrows furrowed together, something he only seemed to do when he was confused about something I said. "Why wouldn't they?"

"I'm a little old to celebrate Halloween."

Paul's hands clenched the steering wheel tightly. "They are going to give you candy whether they like it or not." He growled. Despite Paul's obvious tension about the subject (subject being it would make me sad, making Paul angry), I still smiled dreamily out the window.

When Paul pulled into the driveway, I practically hurtled myself out of his truck and ran into the house. "Hey, sweetie, you should start getting your costume on soon, the little kids will be coming around soon. It's almost 6." She said, sensing my excitement. With a squeal of absolute joy, I sprinted to my room and put on my costume.

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Paul's POV

I've never seen Raegan so happy. She was absolutely tickled at the idea of celebrating Halloween, and I couldn't help but join her excitement for the celebration, and be slightly envious of her innocence. I barely took the key out of the ignition before I saw my imprint bounce out of the car with unbelievable speed; her petite little body jumping up and down as she ran, her dark hair flowing behind her.

As soon as I stepped into the house, I heard Raegan squeal again, and my emotions swam with my undying love for her. Emily approached me as she put up decorations for the Halloween party, a bright smile on her face. "It must be nice seeing her so happy, isn't it?" she asked with a content sigh. I nodded hurriedly. "Emily, you have no idea how great I feel. She's so…"

"Elated?"

"Yes, that's it exactly. And it's just even though we've been getting closer, I've been trying to ask her more questions about her home life in South Dakota, and she won't answer. It's frustrated me to no end."

With that, Emily frowned, and ran a hand through her hair. I was practically begging her for answers, even though I wasn't actually begging. "Please, Emily, help me."

"I can't tell you things Raegan doesn't want you to know!"

"Please, just give me something. My mind has been eating away at this for days now and I'm lost!"

Emily finally gave in, but not happily. "Paul, please, all I can tell you to do is be patient. Raegan didn't have as many liberties as we did when we were little. She didn't get to be a kid like we did, and that's all I'm going to tell you. Now stop persisting and let her tell you in her own time, she's already opened up to you more than we thought she would."

What? What did that mean? "Is it because she's from South Dakota?"

"What?! What does that even mean, Paul?"

"I don't know, like maybe people in South Dakota have a different way of life or something…listen, I'm trying okay!"

"Paul, it has nothing to do with being from _South Dakota_! She had a difficult home life, okay?! Jesus!"

Emily, rolling her eyes, obviously annoyed with me, and walked away. "_Difficult home life?_" I thought to myself. "_Now I'm even more confused!"_

Suddenly, I heard Raegan's voice and Emily take in a deep breath. Practically running to the kitchen, I almost fell on my face from stopping so abruptly.

She looked absolutely breathtaking. In a yellow, 1800's style dress with a white collar, purple kerchief tied around her neck, elbow length white gloves, and brown flats, she looked like something that came right out of a time machine. Her hair was done up in a bun, but a few wavy strands of hair hung in her face. She was wearing the smallest amount of makeup, but it was barely noticeable. She wore an excited, yet shy smile, as she twirled around so we could get a better view. "S-So, whaddya think?" she asked timidly. Emily smirked and said something I didn't hear, when suddenly I realized my name was being said repeatedly as I gawked at her. "So, what do you think, Paul?" Emily asked teasingly. Wiping my mouth in effort to make sure no drool was coming out, I dumbly nodded my head. "Y-You look…you look absolutely stunning." I whispered truthfully. Raegan's face turned a bright shade of red, but a small smile tugged at her lips. She continued to stare into my eyes as I melted into her blue-green orbs, before I heard a cough. "Can I trust you two to pass out candy to the kids?" Emily asked, a sneaky smile still on her face. We both nodded, and I headed to the bathroom to change into my costume.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Raegan's POV

I couldn't believe how good Paul looked in his costume. It wasn't really much of a costume, all it consisted of was a pair of brown, ripped up looking Bermuda shorts. He didn't wear a shirt, so his strong abs and muscles were open to the public eye. I must have been gaping, because Paul cleared his throat at me, a playful smirk on his face. "Like what you see?" he asked, flexing his muscle. Gulping, I rolled my eyes in effort to play it cool when in reality, I was freaking out. Why the heck was he so hot! Finally, after what seemed like forever, the doorbell rang.

"Trick or treat!" yelled a group of kids in different costumes, probably around 7 years old. Excited, I swiveled around and fell right into Paul's abs, much to my embarrassment. His large, strong arms wrapped around mine as he steadied me. I gulped down a lump in my throat, and moved around him to get the bucket of candy. The kids yelled and tried to get in front of each other as I threw candy into their plastic pumpkins, and after a few minutes, they left the front porch.

Still recovering my awkward Paul-confrontation (yes, that's what I was calling it), I proceeded to hand out candy to several groups of kids, before I realized it was 8 o'clock, and the party was going to start any minute.

Almost in one big group, everyone showed up within seconds of each other, including Leah. I was actually happy to see she was still alive since I was having my doubts, and welcomed her in. With a glare, she muttered something under her breath that made Paul seethe in anger, before I assured him I was not bothered by whatever she said. The party was really starting to go, and everyone started to eat and talk. Kim and I spoke for a few minutes before Jared asked to steal her away, and they started making out on the couch, he obviously liked the idea of his girlfriend being a slutty cop.

Leaning on the counter as I watched Collin, Brady, and Seth argue about what movie was better, _Fast and the Furious_ or _Terminator_, I felt a colossal hand on my shoulder. Somewhat startled, I spun around to see Paul with a happy expression on his face. "Ready to go trick-or-treating?" he asked. I quickly grabbed my pillow case and nodded excitedly. The moment I've been waiting for all night had finally arrived! We started to make our way out the door, when Paul yelled. "See you guys later, Raegan and I are going candy hunting!" he shouted, making everyone turn their attention away from what they were doing.

"Have fun!"

"Stay safe!"

"Make sure they give you the good candy!"

"Bring me back some almond joys!"

And then, we heard the voice that hadn't spoken all night. A snarky laugh, Leah smirked menacingly. "Trick-or-treating? How old are you, five?" she asked, a nasty, sarcastic tone to her words. Suddenly feeling embarrassed, I blushed terribly. Everyone was silent, gaping at Leah's rudeness. "Wait, so you're seriously going? Oh my God! Paul, are you aware that your little girlfriend is a _child?_" she said with another cold laugh. Paul's trembling was worsening by the second, when Emily stepped in. "Leah, you and I have spoken about this, that type of behavior is not tolerated here. You are welcome to leave." Emily said sharply. Leah just laughed, waving her off as if she wasn't even there. "Oh please, Emily, why don't you take your little rules and regulations and shove them up your ass." She growled.

Now, I don't show my anger very much, and I never, ever confront anyone. Growing up in an abusive household does that to you, but suddenly, something snapped in me as my aunt's face contorted into one of hurt. "You know what Leah, I'm not sure what I did to you that made you act like this towards me, but whatever it is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you spend all your time hating life and everyone else; hating people who you barely know. I feel very, very bad for you." I barked. A gasp went around the room, obviously not expecting what I said, even though I didn't either. Leah was trembling just like Paul, but she still wore that cunning smile on her face. "Oh, really? You feel bad for me? Trust me, you are the only one around here that deserves any pity. Why don't you go tell them about South Dakota, Raegan?"

I froze at her words, my face paling drastically. There was no way she could have known. Had someone told her? Was she only saying that because she wanted to get to me? Either way, I had stormed out of the house, hitching up my dress so I wouldn't have to fall. From a distance, I heard light running after me. "Raegan, wait! Wait up!" said the voice I knew was Paul. I stalled, and he caught up with me at lightning speed. "Raegan, Raegan, I'm so sorry. I don't know why she said that. It was a terrible and mean thing for her to do." He whispered, anger lacing his words, but he was trying. "It's okay. I don't care." I whispered. He grabbed my hand gently, caressing it with his own abnormally warm one. "I'm serious. I really don't know what her possessed her to do the things she did, but I will assure you one thing. I'm not going to ask you about what she said."

My eyes widened, I was sure that he was going to! He had been for weeks! "W-What?" I stammered. His eyes, looking slightly pained, bore into mine. "When you are ready, you will tell me, if you choose to do so. But I'm not going to pressure you into telling me anymore." He explained.

And at that moment, I didn't care about what Leah said about me, I didn't care about the possibility that someone had told her of my past, I didn't care about anything. Except for Paul.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Trick or treating was great. Paul held my hand lightly and my treat sack as I went to different houses all over the neighborhood. Some people gave me weird looks, but after one glance at Paul, they would usually submit and give me their candy. One lady, who had made a snarky comment about my age, threw all the candy she had in the pillow case after Paul growled at her. But overall, it was a great night. I had tons of fun, and I was exhausted. "Paul?" I asked tiredly.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you so hot in temperature? You always feel like a furnace when I'm around you."

Paul looked at me with an expression of fear, but quickly covered it up. "It's hereditary." He said briefly. My eyes narrowed. "And why do you always shake when you're angry?"

"Hereditary."

I nodded, is this how it felt when I wouldn't answer Paul's questions about SD? "Well, you should probably go to a doctor about that, shouldn't you? I mean, it can't be healthy."

"I'll take that into consideration."

"Well, have you ever gone to see someone about it before? I mean, it could be-"

"Jesus, just drop it, will you?! Here we are, having a good time, and you come at me with all your stupid little questions. Take a hint."

Hurt beyond words, my eyes welled up with tears. Paul yanked his hand out of our light hold and shoved it into the pocket of his shorts. "I'm sorry-"

"Just don't, okay? Please. Save it, I don't care. Just know that I will only tell you my secrets when you tell me yours. That's the way its going to work."

A tear slid down my cheek. He just said he would wait until I was ready to tell him! He glanced over at me, and his stone hard face softened. "Aw, Raegan, shit. I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry." He said softly, wiping the tear from my face with the pad of his thumb. I simply nodded, forgiving him completely. "You're right, I shouldn't have persisted, I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you were curious. I'm sorry for acting like a douschebag."

At that, I smiled at him. And he smiled back. Suddenly, a bolt of electricity ran up my hand as he held it again, this time, more caressingly. Taking a step closer to me, he licked his lips, and continued forward until there were only a few centimeters of space.

Oh my God, Paul Lahote was going to kiss me.

Anticipating his lips on mine, I closed my eyes and braced myself for it.

But it never came.

Because when I opened my eyes, he was gone.

A/N: Oooooh?! Where did Paul go? Was he going to kiss her? Review and I will have a chapter up immediately!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Here is chapter 9 y'all! Yay! Keep reviewing, it churns the chapters out faster!

Chapter 9: I Swear This Time I Mean It

Raegan's POV

I was absolutely miserable.

Never in my short 16 years had I felt more alone.

It had been a week since Halloween.

It had been a week since the almost kiss thing.

It had been a week since Paul last spoke to me.

I didn't understand. What did I do wrong? I mean, it's not like he had kissed me and I didn't kiss back or anything. If anything, I allowed him to make the first move. I stood there like an idiot with my eyes closed.

The other part of me that wasn't sad was kind of angry. Had it been a prank? Did he do it out of spite or did he do it just because at the time, he thought it would be funny? Had he just been fooling me the whole entire time?

Were we ever friends?

He had come by Aunt Emily's every day, although I'm not sure why, since my aunt and Sam were both completely furious when I came home, shivering, by myself. He didn't look the well-off either, huge dark circles were under his eyes, and his normally glowing tan skin had paled to an almost unhealthy state. I tried to speak to him the first few days, but he wouldn't even look at me, so I gave up. If he didn't want to speak to me, I wouldn't speak to him either.

And to make things worse, my cutting had increased in the last week. I was now cutting about 5 or 6 times a day. I guess not being around Paul was more damaging then I thought.

It was a regular school day of being ignored by Paul, having my ear talked off by Kim, and hearing the playful fights among Collin, Brady, and Seth. I was in psychology, when I felt someone tap my shoulder. Looking over, I saw that it was the endlessly annoying Tyler Cross, who had been sending me countless amounts of notes in this class. I never read them, but out of pity I would throw them out when I got home so he wouldn't find them in the school garbage. "Yes?" I whispered, trying not to sound agitated. He smiled kind of oddly, and I couldn't help but be creeped out. "Hey, what are you doing tonight?" he asked. I tried not to scoff at him. "Um, nothing."

"Do you want to see that new horror movie that came out in Port Angeles? I hear its really good."

I smiled, I kind of felt bad for him. I mean, sure he was annoying, but his persistence was kind of sad. "Look, Tyler…"

"Please? Just one date? And if you want to leave early, I won't hold it against you."

I was right about to say something when he grinned. "Good! So I will pick you up at 7. See you then!"

Utterly confused, I just nodded. Did I just get my first date ever?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The rest of the school had gone by pretty quickly. I had lunch with the group as I always did, with the exception of Paul, who hadn't sat with us since the Halloween incident. However, when I told them about my date, it didn't exactly go as planned.

_Flashback:_

_Kim smiled at me as I announced I had some news. Clearing my throat, I was hoping that even though I didn't like Tyler Cross in that way at all, they would be happy I was asked out. "T-Tyler Cross asked me out today."_

_The smiles around the table quickly faded, and disappointed frowns surrounded me. What the hell? "…Oh…"_

"_Well, um, congrats…."_

"…_Um…"_

_Confused and frustrated, I pouted. Weren't friends supposed to be supportive of things like this? "Why aren't you guys happy about this?" I asked quietly. Kim gave me a sad smile, and patted my hand. "Nothing's wrong with Tyler…"_

"_It's just that, you know…"_

"_He's just…."_

"_What?" I kind of snapped. I mean, I know I didn't like Tyler, but it was still kind of a nice thing, to be asked out. Seth sent me a semi-glare. "You aren't honestly thinking of going, are you?" he said in a disbelieving tone. I was starting to really get mad now, who did they think they were? "Y-Yes, I think I will." I said defiantly. My friends merely just stared at me, and whispers that I couldn't comprehend were distributed amongst the table. Kim sent me a pitiful glance, and my face flushed. "I thought you would at least be happy for me. Whatever, I have class." I sighed, leaving the table, my friends staring after me._

_*End Flashback_

I was now sitting on the living room sofa, waiting patiently for Tyler to come pick me up. I decided to go casual, since I planned to tell him he was a 'good guy' at the end of the night. I wore a white collared button up, and a coral pink cardigan on top, wearing dark was skinny jeans and pink ballet flats, and the lightest bit of lip gloss. Finally, I saw a crappy looking car pull into the driveway. Emily walked in, wearing the sad smile she had been displaying since I told her I was going on a date. "Your date is here," she said with a sigh. I could tell she was trying to be happy for me, but she, like everyone else, seemed disappointed. With a nod, I walked outside, since he didn't bother going to the door.

Opening the rusty door to the Volkswagen, I gave him a light smile. "Hey, you look hot." He stated bluntly. I blushed, and wiped some of the hair away from my face. "Um, t-thanks." I muttered. He swung his arm over my seat, and grinned at me. "So, I was thinking, this new monster movie just came out…."

And that's when he lost me. I stared at the window, nodding along to whatever he was saying. I didn't mean to be so rude, but I honestly couldn't care less about what he was talking about. He moved his arm slightly so it now rested around my shoulders, sending waves of discomfort through my body.

When we finally arrived, he practically skipped to the ticket booth, leaving me to attempt to catch up with him. When we got to the snack counter, he hurriedly ushered me along, leaving a 'helpful' suggestion to not get anything. We made our way to our seats, which, much to my dismay, were all the way in the back of the theater.

I literally spent the entirety of the movie warding off Tyler's advances. At first, I thought it was almost cute, but then it just became way too much and I wound up sitting as far away from him as my seat would let me. When we finally left, I marched off to the car and demanded that he take me home. He merely frowned at me, obviously angry. "So, did you like the movie?" he asked as he once again, draped his arm over my shoulders. I laughed. I barely got to watch the stupid thing since I was so preoccupied trying to release myself from his grip. "I'll take that as a yes. We should do this again." He said with a smile. It was then that I noticed that Tyler wasn't taking us on the right road, he was leading us towards the forest that surrounded most of Forks and La Push. I gulped nervously, what was he doing? "Um, w-where are we going?" I asked quietly. He merely chuckled in response.

We soon approached the heavily wooded area, and he drove down a path that brought us deeper into the forest. I began to freak out a little bit, why didn't he just take me home? He kept sending me strange glances. We pulled up overlooking a small creek. "This place is called Baiser Creek. I head up here with my friends a lot." He said with a grin. I smiled anxiously. Baiser sounded French, and I used to take French back in my old school. I thought maybe thinking of the translation of the word would make distract me a little, settle my discomfort.

And once I realized what it was in English, I almost hyperventilated.

Baiser meant 'kiss'.

I laughed nervously, and Tyler wrapped his arm closer around me. "Um, T-Tyler, look, you're a really nice guy…"

The doors locked.

His nodded his head, letting me continue. My heart was beating a mile a minute, oh my God, what was going on? "…But I t-think I like you better as a f-friend." I said hopefully. His smile diminished, and an expression of rage took its place. He chuckled coldly. "You know, Raegan, when I first saw you, I thought you were the prettiest girl in the school. I admired you, sent you notes that asked you questions that you never responded to. I take you on a nice date, and here I am now, getting turned down."

Instinctively, I felt bad for him. "L-Look, I'm really sorry-"

"-And a part of me isn't surprised. I'm tired of being called the 'nice' guy. Nice guys finish last. I've been turned down, stood up, and rejected more times than you can count. What if I don't _want_ to be the nice guy anymore? What if I never was the nice guy?" he asked, venom dripping off of every word. I was trembling now, what did he mean? "T-Tyler, I'm sorry I wasted your ti-"

"Shut up. Just shut up. You're wrong, Raegan. So, very, very wrong! See, this isn't going to be a waste of time. I refuse to let this date go to waste. I'm going to get what I came for. I'm not the nice guy anymore." He growled. Just as I was about to apologize again, and tell him to take me down, I was cut off by a pair of blubbering, wet lips.

Shock filled my body immediately. I couldn't respond. I finally came to my senses, and pushed effortlessly against his broad chest. "Oh my God! Get off of me!" I shouted. He unbuckled his seat belt, and climbed clumsily towards me, shoving his tongue down my throat. I couldn't breathe! I yanked my neck backwards, and he merely just laughed and pressed himself closer to me. He practically attacked my neck with kisses, and I felt something poking me in the stomach. "HELP!" I screamed, a strangled sob erupting from my throat. He covered my mouth with his again, shoving his tongue back in so I couldn't yell again. Not that anyone heard me, anyway.

Tears cascaded down my cheeks faster than they could be stopped, and he wrenched me closer by my hair, making me yelp in pain. His hands then left my face and my brown locks, and I heard him fiddling with the buttons on my collared shirt.

This wasn't happening. Not after what happened in South Dakota. Not again.

I kicked and struggled with all my might, hitting any part of him that I could find. My legs were confined under his, so although I would have kicked him in the testicles, but I couldn't move all that well. Furious, he grabbed my hair again, and threw my head against the window. In pain, but not nearly enough to stop fighting, I screamed for help once again. I heard him unbuckling his pants, and then a miracle happened.

It all happened in a matter of seconds. Out of nowhere, the car door was literally ripped off the handle, and with a blink of an eye, Tyler was off of me, lying on top of the crunchy, fall leaves on the forest floor. Startled, I sat up from my compromising position, and saw Sam, Seth, and Paul surrounding him menacingly. Paul was practically foaming of the mouth, before I saw Sam usher him towards me. I was curled up in the passenger seat, shaking. "P-Paul?" I asked quietly.

The look Paul gave me was enough to make me cry. In about 10 seconds, he went from seething in anger, bearing his teeth like an angry animal, and literally vibrating from shaking so badly, to a soft faced, sympathetic, sorrowful friend. He picked me up bridal style as I sobbed into his chest. He said something to Sam and Seth that I didn't catch, and he started carrying me out of the woods. "I'm so sorry, shhhhh, I'm sorry." He cooed repeatedly. What was he sorry for? He wasn't the one who forced himself on me.

We finally reached a major road and Paul carried me to his truck. Lying me down in the passenger seat, he quickly made his way to the driver's seat, and after shutting the door, scanned me for injuries. "He didn't hurt you, did he? I swear to God, if he did…." He said worriedly, clenching his fists tightly. "I-I'm fine, he just scared me is all. Trust me, his state of sanity is probably in much worse condition." I said, trying to laugh it off. He merely frowned, and reached out to push some hair out of my face lovingly with his huge hand. "I'm…I…I can't even tell you how horrible I feel. A simple apology doesn't even grasp what I want to say to you." He said in a pained voice. "Why are you sorry?"

"Raegan…do you remember the questions you asked me on Halloween?"

"Of course…how does that have-"

"I couldn't tell you the answers. I want to, so, so badly. But I can't yet, and it's an order I can't go against. I….I was going to kiss you on Halloween, I really was. But I want you to know what you are…getting into…before I do anything. That's why I left so fast that night. I had no choice, and I thought my only option was to run away from you, to not talk to you. I didn't want you to get sucked into this mess, but I was wrong. I was so wrong, Raegan. Please forgive me. I don't want to lose this because I made stupid decisions. I don't want to lose you." He pleaded, his own eyes welling up with tears. Making a bold move, I took my small and slid it into his, squeezing it reassuringly. I was very perplexed by everything he said, and I wanted to point out desperately that I didn't know what he was talking about, but I shook my head. "Paul, it's okay…I understand, really. You know how you told me that I could tell you my secrets when I'm ready? Well, the same goes for you. You can tell me anything. As long as _you _are ready." I coaxed. He nodded, using his thumb and index finger to remove all traces of tears. Looking into my eyes, he scanned my body over again. "Are you sure he didn't do anything else?"

"Yes, Paul."

"You _sure?_"

"Paul, you guys got to him before he could do anything else. I swear, I'm fine. He just scared me."

Paul smiled a little, and that made me let out a deep breath I wasn't aware I was holding.

XXXXXXXXXX

Paul drove me home, and I couldn't wait to get into bed. "Well, thank you for taken me home." I said. I mean, I know he's driven me home before, but for some reason, this felt different. "Yeah, no problem. It's always a pleasure." He replied in a breathy voice. Running around the other side to open the door for me, he helped me out and he walked me to the front porch. "Can…Can I see you tomorrow?" Paul asked nervously. I grinned, happy he finally wanted to see me. "Of course."

Just as I was about to say goodbye, he pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. He was tense at first, obviously expecting me to react negatively, but for the first time, I let him embrace me, and even hugged him back. He finally released me with a small kiss on my forehead, and headed back to his car.

My head was spinning uncontrollably. Today was one of the strangest days I've ever had. And it was mostly terrible.

But it ended on the best note I could have asked for.

A/N: Onto Chapter 10! Review folks!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Here's chapter 10! Review please! Love you all!

Chapter 10: Where We Belong

Paul's POV

I was walking on air. I couldn't come down from this high; I was on cloud 9. I was on top of the world! I spoke to Raegan for the first time in a whole week. My torture had ended, and to make things better, the unimaginable happened.

Raegan _accepted _me.

I didn't have to tell her about me being a wolf, she had reciprocated the idea I expressed to her when I was pressuring her into telling me more about her past. She was going to really let me tell her when I was ready! And I felt more ready now than ever before. And much to my surprise, she let me hug her.

Let me repeat: _she let me hug her._

This was a milestone in our relationship! I was getting somewhere! I was getting past those walls that were obviously up for a reason. And she hugged back! I almost felt like squealing like a 12 year old girl. I couldn't believe it!

Now onto business. I drove my truck back to the road where I parked previously when I went to rescue my beloved, and the red hot anger fueled up in me. I told Sam and Seth to wait for me to get back; ensuring our fun would ensue with my return. That little bitch was going to pay for what he did to Raegan.

I ran back to where I saw my two friends, circling around Tyler, or whatever the piece of shit's name was. I grinned at his position: curled up like a scared little girl, trembling, fast heartbeat. I was glad he was scared, but he was going to be a lot more scared when I was finished ripping him a new asshole. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" I snarled, a maniacal grin on my face. Tyler scurried backwards, falling on his elbows. "L-Listen man, p-please d-don't hurt me. N-Nothing happened, d-dude." He stammered. I laughed, and delivered a swift kick to his abdomen, making him cry out in pain. Grabbing him up by the collar of his shirt, I shoved him up against a tree. "Give me one. Good. Reason. As to why I should not rip that pretty little tongue of yours, that you obviously like to force down girl's throats, tear off your tiny little dick, and shove them both up your ass." I seethed, my teeth bared against my lips. Holding his hands in surrender, he struggled to find words. "M-Man, I-I'm serious, she t-threw herself at me, b-bro." he lied. I picked him up by the scruff of his shirt, and threw him into another tree. "Fucking pussy, don't lie to me! Why were you the one on top of her, huh? Why was she screaming for help? You get off by seeing little girls cry from under you?!" I shrieked, hitting his body against the tree with each word. He was crying and pleading now, full force.

Dip-shit.

"I'm gonna tell you what you're gonna do, okay? If you ever take a step forward Raegan ever again, I will kill you slowly and painfully. I will do it without mercy, and I will make sure your body is torn limb from limb and distributed amongst the forest you obviously like luring girls into. Are we clear?" I growled, hitting his body once more. He nodded his head hurriedly, and I laughed, dropping him to the forest floor like a sack of potatoes. "And one last word of advice, Tyler. I'll know if you force yourself on another girl. I will. And I will beat the living shit out of you. Kay?"

With one punch to the face, I left, kicking some dirt on him. "Pathetic." I muttered. With that, Sam, Seth and I phased and ran back to our homes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day, I woke up with the biggest smile on my face. I had the perfect day planned for Raegan and I, and tonight, there was a bonfire (Sam demanded one last minute because of the attacks in Seattle or whatever), so I planned on telling her the wolf secrets. Although I was nervous, I didn't want to dwell on it too much, and could only hope she took it well.

Phasing and running to her house, I phased back and threw on some clothes left on the back porch, and let myself in. "Hello?" I called. Suddenly, I saw Raegan running towards me, her petite body still clothed in her pajamas, and her long hair bouncing up and down as she sprinted. "PAUL!" she yelled with a huge smile, and the next thing I knew, she jumped at me. Taken back, ecstatic, and overall shocked, I quickly responded and lifted her up, making her giggle. "What's this? Someone's happy," I said, making Emily and Sam who had entered the room a few seconds ago laugh. "You are my best friend. Why wouldn't I be happy?" she said honestly, her big blue-green orbs staring into my brown eyes.

Setting her down, she led me to the kitchen, _by the hand,_ and Emily started making waffles. "So, what are we doing today?" she said cheerily. Emily set the food on the table, and Paul dug in hungrily, as Raegan went to the fridge to top her waffle with strawberries. "Well, I was thinking. Have you been to the zoo in Seattle?" I asked. She shook her head furiously, and I smirked. "Well, I was thinking we could go there, but we will have to leave soon since it's a bit of a drive. Then we could catch a bite to eat, and this evening is a bonfire. How does that sound?" I asked, hopefully. She squealed, clapping her hands together excitedly. Smiling happily, she quickly ate her waffles, and then practically sprinted to her room to get changed, hurriedly mumbling questions on what to wear under her breath.

My eyes followed her until she reached her room, and once I heard the door shut, I turned to Emily, who was smirking the whole time. "She's happy today." I stated nonchalantly, although I was kind of questioning what exactly made her so cheerful. Emily shrugged. "We had a little talk last night when she came home. She decided that she wants to try."

"Try what?"

"Well, in her own words, she wants to do the 'teen thing'. She really wants to try to make friends and just be a kid." Emily explained. I honestly had so many questions to ask, but I wanted to respect Raegan's privacy.

Raegan came bouncing out with her familiar cheeky grin, wearing a grey button-up knit sweater, an off-white casual looking dress that reached mid-thigh, and a pair of black stockings underneath, along with a pair of off-white ballet flats. Her hair was down, as usual, and she wore silver heart stud earrings. She looked absolutely beautiful, somehow looking casual in comfortable in something that may look a bit fancy just to go to the zoo. "I'm ready!" she exclaimed. I only half heard her, still looking at her and trying not to drool. "Um…o-okay…car." I managed to stammer out, sounding like a complete fool. She merely grinned at me, a blush rising to her cheeks.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

After a long ride of conversation on what would be at the zoo, me asking if she was reading any new books (which, of course, she was, so another book to add to my long ass list), and us talking about things we liked and didn't like (we had a lot in common, surprisingly), we finally reached Woodland Park Zoo. I had to keep up with her running as she jogged over to the ticket line, looking absolutely amazed at everything around her.

I quickly paid for the tickets, trying to avoid growling at the pimple-faced teenager working the booth as he stared at Raegan with critical eyes since Raegan was practically jumping up and down, tugging on my shirt in excitement. After finally giving the little bastard his money, I let Raegan pull me along, and she grabbed a map of the park. "Well, what do you want to see first?" I asked patiently, as I examined the maps ground plans. "EVERYTHING!" she squealed, and suddenly I felt my hand being tugged again, and we both speed walked over to the penguin exhibit.

"Aren't they just _adorable_, Paul? Look! That one did a little flip in the water!" Raegan cooed cutely, standing on her tippy toes to see over the railing. I nodded, muffling my laughter in my hand at her response. A trainer came in, and had another penguin do a dance. "OH MY GOD PAUL, LOOK, LOOK PAUL!" she yelled, scaring the crap out of some poor 10 year old kid next to her. I laughed out loud this time, and she continued to admire the flightless birds in their exhibit.

Next, we went to see the lions. I was feeling slightly on edge, lions were deadly animals, and there was only a sheet of glass to separate the tourist from the animal. I held her close to me without her objection, as she gazed on the huge African cats in wonder. "They're pretty, aren't they?" I whispered to her. She merely gulped in reply, as she stepped closer to the glass. "Don't go too close." I said quickly, taking her hand and pulling her to me. "Paul, they're contained. It's okay." She assured. I still didn't like the idea of Raegan getting to close to them. A female lion circled the circumference of the glass, much to the appeal of the crowd that formed, and much to my displeasure. However, she enjoyed it, and for that I was grateful.

We then stopped at several more exhibits, including the elephants (which caused her to, once again, scream at the sight of a cute animal, in this case two baby elephants), the reptile and amphibian area, the birds (ostriches apparently freak her out), the zebras, otters, bears, and foxes. Now, we had finally reached the wolf exhibit. I was very nervous, since I didn't know whether she liked them or not, and that would really clarify how she may react to my secret.

When we arrived there, she pressed her body up against the glass in awe as she saw the gray wolves wrestle each other. "They're so cool. They kind of remind me of people, you know?" she said softly, never taking her eyes off of them as they played. "They go together in packs, like families, or groups of friends. They all look so affectionate to one another, and you can tell they each have a lot of personality. Plus, I hear they are really smart and loyal." She explained. I froze, she spoke really highly of them! Did this mean that she may possibly take my secret better than the other imprints, or was I just making a big deal out of nothing?

We soon left after that, both of us pretty hungry. She thanked me over and over, and even though I practically begged her to stop, she still continued. I pulled into a café-looking place, and after taking our seats, we started talking again. "So, did you have a fun time?" I asked her, even though I knew the answer. Her mouth formed into that beautiful smile of hers, her blue-green eyes squinted and twinkling with more life than I had ever seen in the past month. "YES! It was awesome! I loved it, everything was so interesting and beautiful!" she replied, obviously happy with our trip. I smiled, the sight of seeing Raegan happy immediately made me happy. "Wow, you almost sound like you've never been to a zoo before." I said, regretting it seconds after I said it as I saw her smile falter. "I…I haven't." she said quietly, her face turning red in embarrassment. I was quickly racking my brain for something to make that smile of hers reappear; desperate. "Well, that's nothing to be embarrassed of or anything. I, uh, I've never…I've never gone to the La Push library before you came here." I said honestly. She looked up at me from the curtain of wavy hair that hid her face, and grinned a little. "Really?"

"I swear it. I didn't, um…I didn't know we had one." I admitted sheepishly, feeling my own blush rise to my face. She chuckled. "Well, I'm glad to see my presence has made a positive impact on you, Paulie." She said with mock confidence. I felt my cheeks grow dark and a tingle in my stomach from her calling me 'Paulie', but she luckily didn't notice. "Oh, trust me Raegan, you being here has positively impacted my whole life." I blurted out. She blushed the darkest shade of red I had ever seen, almost purple. "So, Paulie, huh?" I coughed, and she laughed. "You don't like it?" she asked. I grinned. "I love it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After having a late lunch/dinner, we headed up to the bonfire, and my nerves were absolutely shot. I was unable to keep my mouth shut the whole ride there, and I could tell Raegan was suspicious, and that made me babble even more. I was raking my hand nervously through my short, inky black hair, trying not to prevent the hysteria I knew I was feeling. "Is…Is everything okay, Paul?" Raegan asked quietly. A wave of emotions passed over me; sadness, anger, and mania just to name a few. "Nope! Everything's good. Why, do you think something's wrong?" I said in a voice way too enthusiastic for my liking. She almost flinched at the sound of my voice, and as bad as I felt, I knew it was either acting like someone on crack, or snap at her. "Y-You seem a little on edge…" she muttered softly, retreating back into the shell I had spent so long on trying to break. I let out a deep breath, and clenched my hands around the wheel. "Raegan, tonight I'm going to tell you my secret." I said calmly. Her eyes widened, and she searched my face for any indications that I was lying. "Paul, I told you, only when you're ready…"

"I am. I'm serious. I feel like I'm…I'm going to explode if I don't tell you."

She gave me a reassuring smile, and laid her hand on my tense arm comfortingly. "Well, I wouldn't want you to explode or anything. Just know that if you change your mind, you can, okay? I want you to be comfortable telling me, I don't want you to regret it. I will support you with whatever it is, understood?" she said seriously. I beamed. "I hope you feel that way when I tell you."

"As best friends, I feel the obligation to tell you that you will always be my Paulie."

And in that moment, I knew I was going to tell her tonight, no matter what.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Raegan and I sat together on a log around the fire, as we listened to the conversations among the Elders. I couldn't help but feel anxious, and since my actions were very noticeable, Raegan sent my pitying glances, rubbing circles in my back with her hand comfortingly. Embry, Quil, and Jacob snickered under their breath as they saw how flustered I was getting. "Paul, you know what I told you about if you feel you don't want to anymore…"

"I want to. I'm not hiding any more secrets from you."

She smiled sympathetically, and after a half hour of Billy, Sue, and Old Quil talking about the attacks in Seattle, the time came. I was practically vibrating from my shaking, and I could tell Raegan was nervous too, or at least for me. "Raegan, I want to show you something. Follow me." I said softly. She complied, and I reached for her hand (hoping it would comfort me some), and led her into the forest.

I had taken her far away from the beach and the bonfire where we had been only moments before, helping her across fallen trees and step over tree roots. It was dark, but not so dark that you couldn't see anything at all. The moon was bright out, though not full, and cast an enchanting glow on the forest. I finally reached the small clearing I was looking for, where there was a creek and soft, plush grass to lie on. Clearing my throat, I tried to look a little more confident. Taking a hold of both her hands, I sat us both down on a large boulder. "Raegan, you mean the world to me. I have kept some things from you, and since you mean so much to me, you have the right to know. I need you to keep an open mind, and I need you to know that I will understand if you don't accept me." I explained. She now looked at me with a sense of nervousness through her curiosity, and I took a step back. "You know the legends that Billy told at the last bonfire, don't you?" I asked quietly. She nodded her head vigorously, her facial expression still telling me she was confused. "Raegan, the legends…the legends are true. I'm a shape shifter." I said in one long breath. I stared at her, looking for any sign of emotion or feeling, but all I got was a blank stare. "Paul, this is not a joke…"

"I swear over everything I love, I am speaking the truth. I can shape shift into a wolf. We protect La Push from danger."

Raegan continued to look at me with a stone-like gaze, and suddenly, broke out into hysterical laughter. "Wow, Paul, you really had me going for a second! I almost believed you." She said in between giggles. I frowned, and knelt before her, taking her face in my hands gently. "Raegan, I am. I'm not lying." I said as seriously as I could. Her smile vanished in seconds, realizing I wasn't kidding. "W-What? Paul, you're crazy." She said quietly. "I know you know I'm telling the truth. I've never lied to you before. You know that I'm serious about this."

She bit her lip, internally battling with herself. "I can show you." I said softly. She nodded her head, still looking hesitant to believe me. Telling her to close her eyes, I started to strip, and within minutes, felt my body morph into that of a wolf. I let out a whimper, and she opened her eyes. "P-P-Paul?" she said in a voice barely above a whisper. I nodded my head once, and she clapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes searching me. "Y-Y-Your eyes. T-They're the s-same." She gasped. I got down on my belly, wanting to show her I would never harm her. "C-Can I touch you?" she asked hopefully. I inched towards her, still on my belly so I wouldn't scare her, and lifted my huge head into her palm. She pet me curiously, I felt the hesitation in her actions, but she didn't stop. "Oh my God, I'm going out of my mind." She blurted. I let out a soft whine, and she laughed emotionlessly. "Well, you are certainly cute, I will give you that."

She continued to pet me, in awe at my huge size. She examined my paws, my tail, and my ears, gasping once in a while. She finally smiled a little bit, and I felt instant relief. "You….You're adorable." She gushed, much to my surprise. She pet behind my ears, and I practically went to heaven at the feeling. Giving me a little kiss on my snout, she ushered me to change back.

I quickly phased and threw on my clothes, and headed over to her; she was still holding her hands over her eyes. I pried them off her beautiful face, absolutely stunned at her overall good response. She looked up at me, and even more to my surprise, she enraptured me in an embrace, which I returned instantaneously. I finally relinquished, and made sure she really was okay with all this, and I was happy to see that she was. "I can't b-believe this." She whispered. I squeezed her little hand in mine, almost as if I was assuring it wasn't a dream. "Well, now you know." I replied. She let out a nervous laugh. "Why are you taking this so well? I really thought you would freak out." I asked. She shrugged her shoulders, and a light blush coated her freckled cheeks. "Paul, since the day I met you, I knew there was something different…special…about you. Even though, you are, um, a wolf, you are still my best friend." She explained.

I was overjoyed. Never in a million years would I have predicted she would respond so well. She really was made for me! My inner wolf was purring in content at her acceptance, and I knew I didn't regret my decision to tell her. I gave her another tight hug, and finally, I had to tell her the hard part. "There's…There's more." I said nervously. She nodded, telling me to persist. Struggling to find the words to say, I was scared. "You know about the Third Wife, right? And how Taha Aki imprinted on her?" I asked. She thought for a moment, and then nodded yes. "Well, imprinting happens with us too. With the pack, which is basically all the guys we hang out with, including Sam. I…I imprinted." I explained. Her face held the same blank stare. "On who?" she asked quietly.

"Raegan, I imprinted on you."

A/N: Dun Dun Dun! How will Raegan take the news of being imprinted on? Review, review, review!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Here's chapter 11, people! How will Raegan react to imprinting? Review, review, review!

Chapter 11: Someday My Pain Will Mark You

Raegan's POV

I was lost for words. What? Imprinting?

I knew the story of Taha Aki and the Third Wife from my first bonfire. I didn't really focus on it too much, it just sounded like any other romance book/movie I had ever seen. I knew, for a fact that these things just didn't exist. Love is crap. It doesn't make any sense because it doesn't exist. We just fool ourselves into believing we have feelings for someone else, when in fact we are all just willing to satisfy ourselves with the idea that someone accepts us. Or claims to, anyway.

"I-I don't understand." I whispered. Paul looked even more nervous now than when he told me he was werewolf-thing, and as much as I didn't like seeing him so uncomfortable, that was no comparison to how I was feeling. "Imprinting is supposed to be rare, but some people in the pack, like Sam, Quil, and Jared, and I have. It only happens to shape shifters, not regular people. It's like…when you see her, your imprint, you are bound to her for life. From first sight, she's your everything. Family, friends, responsibilities, air…they all seize to resemble any importance when you've found her. You will be whatever she needs you to be, and you will do anything she wants you to do. You love her with all your heart, no matter what happens, because at the end of the day, she makes you stronger._ You_ are her, you are my imprint, Raegan." He explained softly.

No.

No, no, he was wrong, he didn't…not on me, no, no! Stuff like this is only for fairytales, it doesn't happen to real people. It's a mistake, it's got to be! "P-Paul, you're wrong." I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. His face fell, and I almost started crying at the sight. "No, Raegan, I would never lie to you. Never. You are my imprint." He said softly. Doesn't he understand? It must be a glitch or something, I can't be his imprint. "N-No, Paul, this is a mistake, I'm not her, I'm not your imprint!" I exclaimed, starting to cry. "No, no, please, don't be sad, please! Imprinting is a good thing, Raegan! You are my imprint, and I couldn't be happier about it. There's no one in the world I would rather have by my side." He said hurriedly, taking my hands into his huge ones.

Quickly, I yanked my hands back. He doesn't understand. He can't, and he won't. His face was now a mixture of hurt and sadness, and although I felt guilty, he had to know this wasn't right. _I_ wasn't right. "Paul, y-you don't get it, I can't be…I'm not, I'm sorry but it isn't me you want." I cried. His face now looked somewhat angry, and I started to back away. "What does that mean, Raegan?! Stop being cryptic! I _did_ imprint on you, and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me! I love knowing that you, of all people, are the reason I wake up every day! I've made so many mistakes, Rae, so many, but for the first time in my whole life, something has worked out for me, and I was lucky enough to imprint on you. You are perfect, Raegan. Absolutely perfect." He said seriously. I started full out sobbing, and he tried to take me in his arms, which I pushed away. "Stop! Paul, stop, please, I'm not perfect. You don't deserve to get someone like me. I'm…I'm damaged, Paul. I'm damaged goods. Love doesn't exist, or at least not for people like me." I sobbed. He looked absolutely heartbroken; torn at the seams. "Don't ever say anything like that, ever again. I swear to God, Raegan, _you, you_ are the onethat's wrong. You are perfect in every way. You are not damaged goods, you aren't damaged at all. I love you, Raegan. I love you with every fiber of my body, please, don't do this." He begged.

I collapsed onto my knees, breathing erratically. He wouldn't feel this way when he knew my secret, my past. I felt so, so bad for him. He was stuck with me, and there was nothing he could do about it. He was set up with an accident, someone who shouldn't have been born, never mind loved. "Paul, you need to end this. Imprint on someone else, or something. I'm not…I'm not good for you. You deserve someone who's as awful as I am. You should have never gotten me." I explained. He looked flabbergasted, and his mouth was slightly agape. "I'm not sorry, Raegan! God, what is it that _you_ don't understand?! You are not awful, not even close. I don't deserve someone as beautiful, kind, and sweet as you. I am lucky!" he yelled.

Getting up from my knees, I wiped off my pants, not bothering to rub my tears away. "P-Paul, I need to go."

"Let me take you-"

"No. I'm…I'm going to go home, please, Paul. I'm so, so, incredibly sorry. I…I can't do this. Go…Go find her. Your real imprint."

He stood there, watching me as I made my exit through the woods, looking more broken and sad than I've ever seen him. This wasn't something I wanted to do; I didn't mean to break his heart. But he had to realize that there was someone out there waiting for him, someone who wasn't me, and wasn't a mistake.

I made my way back to the bonfire, and Emily looked up at me with a smile, but it fell quickly as she saw my expression. "A-Aunt Emily, I want to go home." I whispered. She nodded sympathetically, and with a yell to Sam, she practically had to pull me to the car. I tuned out, not caring about anything her and Sam were whispering about, remembering the look on Paul's face. I didn't want to cause him that much pain, and looking back, I felt horrified. But there wasn't anything else I could have done. Now, maybe he has a better chance at being happy.

When we got home, I walked slowly to the bathroom, and after making sure the door was locked, I turned on the shower. It was on its coldest setting, but I didn't care. I couldn't feel anything, and as I searched the shower caddy for my release, I quickly found it.

I started crying hysterically as the blade hit my tender flesh, the reality of not doing this for so long had been hit me hard. The blood ran down my arm like a river, and I couldn't stop. Despite the good feelings I used to get from cutting, this just felt…wrong. The guilt that usually came up after my self-inflicted pain rose before I even started, but I needed to find my relief. I had cut a little deeper than usual, but I was okay.

That's when I realized something. What if I hit an artery or something? What if I cut too much? I knew I hadn't, but what would happen?

I wouldn't care. If I died, it would make it a lot easier for everyone; for Aunt Emily and Sam, for Kim, Brady and Collin, for Paul. Although I wasn't sure whether I would commit suicide or not, I knew that the outcome would be good. Everyone would get on without me; they would all be okay.

I shut off the cold water, changing into a sweatshirt and sweatpants. Walking to my room, Emily sat on my bed, sorrow written all over her face. And I instantly started crying.

Comforting me like a mother should, she held me in her arms as I sobbed. She would coo occasionally in my ear, rubbing circles in my back. "Shhh, everything's going to be okay. You're alright, Rae." She whispered. She was much like the mom I never had, the mother I should have gotten.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After a while, my tears stopped, and I stared ahead of me like I was dead. "So, Paul told you about being a wolf?" she asked quietly. I nodded my head, unable to give any other response. "And…and he told you about the imprint." she stated softly; it wasn't a question. A few tears leaked out, but I wiped them away. "He…he should have imprinted on someone else." I muttered, my voice raspy. She gave me a strange look, and released herself from her grasp. "Why would you say something like that?" she asked seriously. I shrugged, almost laughing at her incredulous expression. "Because it's true. He doesn't know about what happened in South Dakota, Aunt Emily. He won't like me after I tell him, he will know what I am. I'm damaged." I whispered. Shaking her head furiously, she took my face in both her hands. "Raegan Young, I will slap the hell out of you if you ever think that way again. You are not damaged, and what that poor excuse for a man did to you wasn't your fault. You are no less of a person for what happened, and you are one of the bravest people I know. Paul imprinted on you, and there isn't any way to reverse it. But, knowing Paul, he's happy. He will be whatever you need: a friend, a brother, or a lover. He accepts you as you are, no matter how bad you think you are." She explained.

"I'm…I'm scared, Aunt Emily. He says he loves me, but I don't know." I whimpered. She sighed sadly. "Then give him the chance to show you. I know that you haven't had a lot of love in your life, but he does really care about you. Please, at least consider what I'm telling you."

With that, she left, and for the rest of the night, I knew I had a lot to think about.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Paul's POV

"_Stupid, stupid, stupid!"_ I internally screamed at myself. Shortly after Raegan left, I phased, and I was now running through the woods with so more anger than I ever had before. The nearby trees were getting the worst of it, most of them now knocked down and ripped to shreds. "_Paul, what the hell?_" said a voice that entered my head, one that I quickly realized was Sam. "_Fuck my life! I can't do anything right!" _I screamed. Sam quickly ran over to me and pinned me on the ground. "_Calm yourself, what happened? Raegan looked really upset!" _he yelled back, and an image of Raegan crying passed into my head. It felt like my heart had completely torn in two. I collapsed onto my stomach, whimpering in pain as I thought of my beautiful imprint, my best friend, crying because of me. "_The wolves and stuff didn't even freak her out, Sam. She barely blinked an eye. She said I was still her 'best friend', and she didn't care that I was different. But when I told her about the imprinting…everything just went wrong…"_

Sam looked at me sadly, obviously empathizing. His mind was scattered, trying to withhold information so I couldn't see and his thoughts were going by too fast for me to decipher. _"Paul…remember when Emily told you to be careful with her? To be patient?"_

"…_Yeah?"_

"…_Her reaction was like that…because of the reason Emily told you to do those things."_

Oh. I…I hadn't even thought of that, I thought she was just rejecting me! I didn't think it had anything to do with her secrets, I should have been more sensitive, I should have told her in a better way….!

"_Paul, I guess I can't restrict you from seeing her tonight. I realize that you need to see her more than ever, the imprint bond is strained since…she, um, pushed you away…so if you choose…"_

"_Thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh God Sam, you just saved my life."_

"_Now listen, just because I'm letting you see her doesn't mean she will react any differently than before. But at least you can try to redeem yourself."_

With that, I sprinted off towards her house, scenarios playing in my head that I knew would never happen but were nice to think about.

When I finally reached the property, I phased back and sniffed the air to find the window to her bedroom. As I searched the perimeters of the house, I suddenly came across the scent of vanilla and cinnamon, and jumped up onto the sill. She was lying on her bed, face buried in her pillow as her back rose and fell convulsively as she cried. I heard her angry sobs from outside, and the overwhelming scent of her tears was enough to make a burning sensation course through my chest. Knocking timidly, I silently prayed to whatever God existed that she would forgive me. She scanned the room skeptically, her bloodshot eyes looking for the source of the noise. I knocked again, a bit louder and she literally jumped at the sight of me. "Paul, what are you doing?!" she whispered harshly, pulling me into her room. "I…I need to apologize. Raegan, I'm so, so sorry." I pleaded, and tears sprang to my eyes.

Raegan sighed sadly, but offered me no comfort. "There's nothing to apologize for, Paul. I-I'm not your imprint." She said seriously. I shook my head furiously, moving closer to her. "Raegan, I did imprint on you. No matter how much you don't believe it, I did. Now there are some things I need to explain to you." I replied. I sat us both down on her bed, giving us enough space so I could look her in the eye. "I imprinted on you, and there isn't anything that can, or will change that. I'm asking you to believe me. I couldn't have, and can't, imprint on anyone else, and I would never want to. I don't…I don't know what your secrets are, and as much as I care about you, they don't matter to me, because they don't affect how I feel about you. There isn't anything in the world that would make my feelings go away. I know you don't feel like you deserve love, but Raegan, you do. Everyone deserves love. And nothing in your past should prevent you from that. So all I'm asking you is for a chance. A chance to show you that you are worthy, that you can be happy. Let me be the person to do this." I explained.

Tears fell from her eyes, and I moved even closer, sitting side by side, as I used my thumb to wipe away those signs of sadness. "F-Fine. I believe you. You imprinted on me. Now what? Y-You won't feel any of that when I tell you…when I tell you about what happened in South Dakota. Y-You're going to be disgusted by me, and you won't…"

"I won't, what?"

"…You won't l-love me anymore."

I carefully placed my massive hands on her waist and sat her on my lap. She froze up, but quickly relaxed into me. "Raegan, sweetheart, I will never, ever be disgusted by you. I will always love you, no matter what happens. I know it's going to take time to get you to believe that, but I will do everything I can to make sure that you know I care about you more than anyone else in the world. And it's not the imprint making me say this. In the last month and a half that I've gotten to know you, you've made me happier than I have ever been. So let me love you."

Raegan let out a sob, and buried her head in my chest. My hold around her tightened as I consoled this beautiful, crying girl, my fingers raking through her long wavy hair. "Shhhhh, I'm here." I soothed. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I breathed a breath of relief. "I-I'm so s-sorry, P-Paul. R-Really." She cried. I shook my head at her, she's so silly. How could she apologize, she did nothing wrong!

She could never do anything wrong.

"Rae, there is no need to apologize. I'm just happy you are giving me a shot." I whispered into her ear. She looked up at me, but not meeting my eyes. "I…I don't know if I-I can do a r-relationship or anything, Paul." She said quietly. I brushed her hair out of her face. "You don't need to do anything, okay? Nothing needs to change. We can still be best friends, like before. I will be whatever you need me to be, a brother, a friend, or something further than that."

She smiled a little, and I smiled back. "I-I want it to be like before, if that's…if that's okay. Being your sister would be weird."

I chuckled. "What, you wouldn't want me to be your brother?" I said as I rocked her back and forth. "Ew no, why would I want to be related to you?" she joked, her voice still raspy from crying, but sounding much better. "Hey, I will have you know, I think I would make a great sibling. I'd be the cool one."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Paulie."

I raised an eyebrow, tightening my hold on her slightly; smirking. "Oh yeah? Tell me I'd be a good brother!" I demanded as I flipped her over and instantly started tickling her stomach. She burst into laughter, writhing around spastically as I forced a response from her. "Tell me!" I teased. "O-O-Okay! Fine! Y-You'd be a good brother!" she complied, her face red and smile bright on her face. "Now was that so hard?"

"I guess not. But I still wouldn't want you to be my brother. You're my best friend."

And with that, I knew everything was going to be okay.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Here's chapter 12, guys! Review!

Chapter 12: Breathe Me

Raegan's POV

It was a few days after Paul told me about being a wolf and imprinting on me, and life was good. Emily was ecstatic that everything worked out, and although I could tell Sam was keeping a watchful eye on the both of us, he looked happy too. Paul explained a lot more about the phasing and patrolling to me, as well as getting me comfortable with the rest of the pack. It was weird that basically all my friends were shape shifters, but they all assured me they were there protectors, and I knew they were speaking the truth. Kim, Collin, Brady, Seth and I have been hanging out in school since we had a lot of classes together, and it was nice having friends. I made additional friends through the clubs I joined, and I was becoming pretty friendly with my fellow juniors.

I was walking to my English class, when I felt a pair of hands on both of my shoulders. Turning around, I rolled my eyes playfully at the sight of Paul. "Hey, how's your day so far?" he asked curiously. As always, he quickly removed my messenger bag, taking the books from my hands despite my protest. "Same old, same old. I got an A on my psychology exam."

"Hey, that's great! Is that the one you were studying so hard for?"

"Yup!"

"In that case, how about after school, we celebrate?"

I nodded happily, when I remembered today was the day of my cheerleading and soccer tryout. "Ugh, I just remembered, I have tryouts!" I groaned. Although I wanted to be on both teams, I hated the fact that they were on the same day and that I had to cancel plans. Paul pouted, and I merely chuckled at his childish response. "Paulie, we can celebrate another day! I promise." I said with a laugh. He brightened, and once reaching my class, he handed me school supplies, and with a wave, I headed inside.

XXXXXXXX

"Good afternoon, students. So today, I am assigning you a partner project with someone of my choice. You will both have to make a presentation about any author we have learned about so far," droned my English teacher. After that, I lost interest and occupied myself as I doodled a picture of a tree on my notebook.

"….and our last group will be Raegan Young and Sarah Walker."

My head shot up at the mention of my name, and the realization of what she said set in my head. Sarah and I, working as partners? The same Sarah who I had had an altercation with on my first day of school, but haven't talked to since?

Our teacher dismissed us to start working on our project, and refocused my eyes back on my doodling. Only a few seconds later, I heard the sound of nails clicking against my desk in a rolling manner, and looked up. There was Sarah, in all her slutty glory, grimacing at me noticeably. "H-Hi, Sarah." I said quietly. She pulled a chair out from one of the kids I recognized to be in robotics club with me, and turned to me. "Hello, Raegan." She all but seethed. She stared at me coldly, making me blush as I removed my notebook from my desk. "So, what would you like to do for our pro-"

"Let's get one thing clear, charity case. I refuse to work with you under any circumstances. Do whatever you want for this project, I don't care. But I will not spend another minute around you." She stated harshly, and with that, marched back to her seat, her heels clacking against the tile floor.

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Classes came and went, and before I knew it, it was time for my tryouts. I had cheerleading first, so I changed into a comfortable outfit in the bathroom, which consisted of a pair of pink cheerleading shorts and a white v neck, along with a pair of comfortable sneakers. I threw my hair up into a comfortable ponytail, and ran to the gym.

After setting my bag down, I heard a shrill squeal from behind me. "Isn't this exciting! Did you practice?" said the voice that I quickly realized was Kim. I turned around and grinned, not too hopeful but let her soak in her happiness. We both started to stretch and work out our nerves, when Kim tapped me. "Are you feeling the same nervousness as I am?" she asked. I nodded, and she shook her head. "I mean at the fact that Jared and Paul are watching us." She whispered with a giggle. Swiveling my head and scanning the gym, I saw the two, burly guys watching us from the bleachers, giving us thumbs up reassuringly. "Why are they here?" I hissed. Kim laughed. "Uh, hello, they're supportive! They are wolves, after all. Besides, I bet they want to make sure we don't get hurt." She explained. Nodding and trying to rid myself of the anxiety in my chest, I jogged in place until the coach called my name.

"Raegan Young!" she yelled out, pronouncing my name more like 'region'. I bounced up to the mat, and she hit the music. I chose 'Better, Harder, Faster, Stronger' by Daft Punk as my routine song. I did a series of carthweels, back handsprings, back tucks and ended with a split as I enthusiastically shouted the chant for La Push's football team. After I finished, I stayed on the sidelines and watched as everyone else did their routines, as well as Kim's, and we were finally dismissed.

Hot, sweaty, and in a rush, I quickly went to the locker room to change for my soccer tryout, and ran back out to the field in the back of the school wearing knee length sports shorts, a loose 'La Push'' shirt, and my hair up in a sloppy bun with a thin headband pulling my hair back. Kim was wearing something similar, and the coach, who was apparently some ex-military drill sergeant or something, screamed at us to start running around the field. My eyes widened as familiarity flashed in my mind; his screaming was triggering a lot of memories that I had spent the last month and a half pushing away. "Hello? Hellooooo? Hey, you okay?" came Kim's distant voice. "Y-Yeah. Sorry, what were you saying?" I stuttered, coming out of my fog. She looked at me unsurely, but shook it off. "I was just saying that Jared and Paul are watching us again! Aren't they adorable?" she cooed, waving excitedly to her boyfriend, who blew her an affectionate kiss. Paul and I merely just stared at them, and he gave me another thumbs up.

The rest of the soccer tryout was pretty mediocre, including getting the ball around sets of cones, passing the ball to one another, and other humorously easy tasks. Overall, I thought I did a good job, and after the coach let us leave (with another piercing shriek), I made my way over to the bleachers. Kim had thrown herself into Jared's arms, making out with him as he swung her around. I blushed just at the sight of them, and I felt kind of like I was intruding. Paul cleared his throat, and after a quick goodbye to the couple, we went off to his truck.

Paul took my books and sports bag from my hands, throwing them in the back of the truck as I jumped in. "You did great out there! You definitely got on both teams." He praised. I chuckled, waving him off modestly. "Thanks, Paulie. You still want to celebrate?" I asked hopefully. He glanced over at me, smiling. "Of course. I was thinking maybe we could get ice cream." He said happily. "Sounds great." I said honestly.

Paul's POV

I pulled into a little ice cream shop I used to go to when I was little, and we both hopped out of the truck. Raegan looked really adorable at her tryouts, and to be honest, it was kind of hot. Jared had made fun of me the whole time, which was enough to kill a potential boner, but the picture of her would be engrained in my mind for a while. She skipped inside ahead of me, and after catching up, she pressed herself against the glass pane that overlooked the ice cream. "So many choices…" she trailed off, making me laugh at her cuteness. We both finally wound up getting the same thing, which was fudge ripple. I, of course, ordered the seven scoop sundae while she ordered a measly one scoop on a sugar cone. We both headed outside, sitting at some vacant picnic tables. "I used to come here all the time with my Mom when I was a kid." I told her, causing her to look up in interest. "That's cool. Why'd you stop?" she asked earnestly. I shrugged. "I guess we both got busy. I don't have a dad, so she has to support us all on her own, or at least she did until I got a job. And after I phased, I hated coming home to an empty house, so I took all the shifts I could." I explained quietly.

Surprising me completely, she took my hand in hers, rubbing circles into the back of my hands as a form of comfort. Despite the remarkably small size of her hand, they were protective; caring. "And, you know, the hardest part…about all of this…from being a little kid to phasing…I didn't have him there. A father. Jacob, Quil, Seth and Leah, they all have dads. I remember seeing all of them on father's day, playing football and fishing…my mom tried to give me that, but it wasn't the same." I continued, tears swelling in my eyes, much to my horror. I quickly wiped them away, hoping Raegan didn't see them. "You want to know what I think, Paul?" said a small, tinkling voice next to me. I looked into her eyes, pressing for her to go on. "I think you're the best guy ever. You're kind, compassionate, and sweet, and that's not something many people can say for themselves. And you didn't have a father to teach you to be this way, and that makes you special. Because you're _you_ all on your own." She said softly.

I couldn't help it. I knew that this wasn't manly, and I knew Raegan was going to think I was weak, but the tears fell from my eyes faster than I was able to rub them away. Instead of the mean, teasing reaction I anticipated, she removed her hand from mine, and stretched her arms around my shaking torso, embracing me as tightly as she could. "It's okay, Paul. It's okay. Everything will be alright." She said over and over, and slowly, my tears went away.

It was strange. I knew I loved Raegan, it was a fact that only became truer with each day. But something changed. I stared into her eyes, those big blue-green eyes that I loved so much, and it was like I had imprinted all over again. Admiration, irrevocable love, feelings I couldn't even begin to fathom washed over me in a downpour. All that mattered to me was her, she was the only one I saw. In a dark world, she was light. I didn't care about my useless, poor excuse of a father. I didn't care about the fact that no matter how hard my poor mother had tried, she could only do so much. I didn't care that the rest of the pack didn't understand me, only recognized me to be the most volatile of the group.

I didn't care.

Because she was the only one worth caring about.

"Thank you, Raegan. T-Thank you." I stuttered, unable to find words as my mind went into overload. Everything about her made me stop breathing, her voice, her beauty. She looked at me oddly as I continued to stare into her gorgeous eyes, her cheeks rosy red. "Paul? Are you okay?" she asked timidly. Every fiber of my being made me want to tell her that I was more than okay, that I was absolutely marvelous, but my body only allowed me to give a dull nod. She didn't release me from her hold, although her grip had become loose and reassuring. "D-Did you really mean that?" I asked stupidly. Her words were more honest than anything I'd ever heard, but I needed to know, I needed to know that she really thought that way about me. "Of course, Paulie. I love you, you're my best friend. I've never thought anything less." She replied, not a tremor of uncertainty in her voice.

I nodded again. A part of me was angry at myself, angry that I could be so emotional and sensitive. But another part was grateful; happy that I trusted her so much. "You should finish your ice cream. It's starting to look like soup." She whispered. I laughed despite myself, leave it to Raegan to say something so off topic. "How about your ice cream?" I sniffled. She waved it off, and pulled me in for another hug. "Don't worry about it." She replied. Over her shoulder, I saw the cone on the ground, the melted fudge ripple puddled around it. All I could think of was how selfless she was, never caring about herself, but everyone else.

And I also couldn't stop thinking about how much I loved her.

A/N: I know it was a short chapter, but I felt like this was a good place to stop! Review!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Chapter 13, everyone! I couldn't be happier at the great results I'm getting from you guys, it means the world that you care enough to keep reading! Keep reviewing!

Chapter 13: You Can Always Count On Me

"_Oh baby, don't you get why I do this?" he slurred. His body covered mine, sweat dripping off of his face as he rubbed his disgusting appendage over my bare stomach. I released a whimper, even though I knew that was against the rules. Mom was completely passed out, slumped against the tiny trailer kitchenette. "P-Please, please don't do this, I'm sorry." I gasped as he squeezed my face painfully. "Baby, you do this to me. You," he said, lust coating his voice. The tears made their way down my cheeks. My 12 year old cheeks that still held that babyish look, slightly chubby, but were thinning out. He merely laughed at me, and pressed his blubbery, fish-like lips against my neck. "Don't cry, baby, Daddy's gonna take care of ya, now. He's gonna take care of ya real good." He said with a mocking tone. The sob I had to badly tried to hold on to released itself, and before I knew it, my vision was clouded with unshed tears and I was hyperventilating. "I want ya to beg. Beg, baby." He whispered, making me cry even harder. "Daddy ain't gonna hurt ya, just beg. Beg, Rae." He whispered again. His hand made its way to my white fruit-of-the-loom underwear, and he hooked his fingers to pull them down. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't cry for help. And even if I did, who would hear me? Who would help? Who would care? My own mother was collapsed on the floor of a trailer. She could have seen this if she decided to put down the bottle, to stop snorting._

_But even if she did see this, would she just shake her head and turn away, like all the other times? _

"_Beg, baby. Beg and maybe you won't get it so bad." He said with a chuckle so disturbing, it could have made the toughest person on Earth cringe. I knew he was lying, there was never such a thing as 'getting off easy' in his book. There were only two options, bad, and worse. "BEG! BEG, RAEGAN! BEG LIKE THE WHORE YOU ARE!" he demanded. I let out a strangled cry, wishing it would all be over. "Please, please, stop! Don't! Please!" I plead. My terror rang on deaf ears. "BEG LOUDER, BEG! BEG!" he shrieked. I let out another scream. ""PLEASE, I DON'T WANT THIS! PLEASE, DON'T! I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE!" I shrieked. He laughed and laughed. "You're worthless, Raegan. Absolutely worthless."_

"Raegan, wake up! Please, wake up! Oh God, please!" said a distant voice. I let another anguished cry as I bolted up abruptly in my bed. My hands were balled up into fists, clutching the sheets so tight my knuckles were snow white. The world started to come into focus, and I quickly surveyed the room, making sure my assaulter wasn't there. Sam and Aunt Emily stood in the doorway, looking mortified, and much to my own horror, Paul was sitting on the side of my bed, his warm hand in mine. His face held many different emotions, but the ones that stood out the most were fear, fright, and anger. I quickly yanked my hand from his grasp, when I noticed I was sitting in a warm puddle of liquid. I slowly looked down, and noticed that a small, yellow pool sat around my waist.

Oh my God.

I had peed myself.

I peed. On myself.

Paul is right next to me.

I let out a sob, and Paul's face crumbled as he struggled to find words to say. I hurriedly gathered myself and ran to the bathroom, pushing past Aunt Emily and Sam despite their protest. Locking the door behind me, I slid down the tiled wall and onto the floor, unable to catch my breath. I could hear the door rattling as someone knocked on it with force. "Raegan, let me in, it's Paul, please!" said a voice thick with sadness. I slowly got back on my feet, and approached the shower carefully. I set the temperature at its hottest point, not caring about the blisters I would probably get later. I searched the shower caddy, and within seconds, I felt the cold blade in the palm of my hand.

The door thudded again, but I paid no mind. My breaths were becoming easier to manage with each cut, and a wave of satisfaction hit me hard. "If you don't open this door right now, Raegan, I will come in there myself!" yelled a voice that could only belong to Paul. Guilt swelled up in my chest, and for some reason, I felt like a bucket of cold water was poured on me. I stared at the razor, the cuts on my arm. What was I doing? How was I letting this happen? I dropped the razor in disgust, as I saw the blood trail down my arms and swirl into the drain.

I got out of the shower, and stormed back to my room in my towel, barely skidding past Paul, who was waiting outside looking more distressed than ever. I slammed my door, and ransacked my closet for clothes to wear. I chose a pair of grey sweatpants, a long sleeved red thermal shirt, and I tugged on a pair of my brown furry boots. Not even caring that my hair was wet, I left the room with a loud slam of the door.

I sprinted past the kitchen, and into the living room, where my exit was. Aunt Emily hurriedly got up from her seat on the sofa, her hands shooting out to stop me. "Sweetie, where are you going? Please, don't leave." She said, tears in her eyes. I didn't look at her, only past her, at the front door. "I-I need to go. I can't be here." I mumbled. She shook her head, and more tears fell from her eyes, but I couldn't feel bad for her.

Because I couldn't feel at all.

"Baby girl, you don't need to leave. We can work this out, I swear. Just stay." She pleaded. I lightly pushed her hands off of me, and left without a word.

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It had been about half an hour.

I didn't know how I got here, but I did. I was at the same little meadow-like clearing in the forest, where Paul had told me he could turn into a wolf. I sat with my knees tucked up to my chin, and rocked myself as I tried to control myself. _Breathe in, and out. In, and out, _I thought to myself over and over. I couldn't shake the feeling that dream gave me, couldn't shake the guilt I felt. It was drowning me, and I felt my ability to think clearly become nonexistent.

It was then when I felt a warm, soft presence next to me. From the corner of my eye, I could see a large, dark silver wolf plop down beside me, whining. The wolf buried his big head into my side, making me look up. I instantly recognized those big, brown eyes. It was Paul, my best friend. His eyes, which usually held mischief and trouble, only showed sadness and worry. Paul let out another low whine, nudging my side again. "Stop." I whispered. I only got another nudge, and fury lit up in me. "Jesus, Paul, I said to fucking stop! Stop, stop, stop!" I barked, my fists hitting the ground in anger. Paul let out a whimper, and backed away a few feet, his tail between his legs and his ears flattened against his lowered head. The sight of seeing Paul this way brought a fresh new wave of tears to my eyes, and I ducked my head in shame as I started crying again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that." I sniffled in between sobs. Paul crawled on his belly closer to me, until he was right up against my curled up body. He let out a sad whimper, and I pet his head unconsciously as my salty tears fell onto the ground. "I-I'm sorry, Paul. I-I'm sorry I made you mad. I'm sorry I w-wet the bed." I cried hysterically. He shook his head at me, his eyes disapproving as he licked my face. I couldn't breathe again; the dam had been completely unleashed.

I sat there, rocking and gasping for air, while Paul continued to lick away at my tears. The average person would have been repulsed at the fact that a dog was licking their face, but if anything, it made me feel better. Suddenly, he got up and walked away, hiding behind a tree. He gave me a stare that let me know he was coming back, and a few minutes later, a shirtless Paul running up next to me. His face looked pained as he wrapped his arms around me.

I still couldn't seem to hold it together, and my sobbing was hysterical and never ending. He simply gathered me in both of his arms, sitting me in his lap and running his hand through my hair, as my tears evaporated into his too-hot skin. "Shhh, it's okay to cry, Raegan. It's okay to cry." He hushed. "I-I'm sorry, P-Paul. This is all my f-fault." I whimpered. He shook his head, tisking. "Silly girl, nothing is your fault. Nothing." He replied in a whisper, his hand still raking through my brown locks. "P-Paul, you don't understand. It _is_ my fault." I said with a cry. His grip became tense, and he took both of his huge hands and held them on either side of my face lovingly. His eyes bore into mine, eyebrows furrowed, and his mouth was in a tight line. "Raegan, sweetie, nothing is your fault. You had a nightmare, and an accident happened. Everyone makes accidents, sometimes. I don't know what it is you dreamt about, but you never have to worry about it again. I'm here to protect you. And nothing will stop me." He said seriously, his eyes never leaving mine. "P-Paul, I'm not ready to tell you yet. I'm not, I'm sorry." I said quickly. His expression didn't even falter. "That's okay. Whenever you're ready, remember? No obligations. You only tell me if you want to. And even if you never do, I won't ever force you." He replied softly.

We must have sat there for hours, me sitting in his lap with his arms around my waist. My cries had slowly vanished, and all that was left was my distraught appearance. Paul rocked me back and forth, kissing my hair and temple. For once, all my tears had run out. I was done crying, and despite the numbness in my core, I felt somewhat at peace.

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I woke up in my bed with a huge headache. I could barely open my eyes, and every time I tried, a head splitting pain shot through my skull. "Ugh," I muttered, mostly to myself. Turning around, I felt a hard, large boulder-like figure next to me. Quickly collecting myself, I saw Paul lying next to me, his arm lazily draped around my waist in a protective way. He was fast asleep, his mouth slightly agape and a soft snore coming and going. Instead of freaking out as to why Paul was in my bed, I laid back down, face to face.

He looked a lot like a little kid when he slept. His face was free of emotion other than peace, looking the least stressed I'd ever seen him. He must be exhausted after today. I unconsciously gave him a small peck on the forehead, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. A small smile formed on his lips. "I'm sorry I'm in your bed. I'll leave if you want." He said, although he made no move to do so. I shook my head at him, too tired to return the smile. "Y-You can stay." I said quietly, making him smirk a little more. His eyes met mine, and his hand rose, pushing my hair out of my eyes. "You okay?" he asked, looking timid. I nod, and my eyes close at the soothing gesture of his warm hand near my head. "I've been better." I replied, my voice raspier than usual. He tisked, and his face melted into one of sadness. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked, sounding unsure. I nodded. "S-Stay with me, okay? Don't leave me."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't want to be alone."

I curled into Paul, my internal alarm system that would have usually told me to flinch, suddenly submissive. "You'll never be alone again, Raegan. I'll always be here."

A few hours later, Paul woke me up, much to my dismay. I already missed his warmth that made me feel protected and safe. "Come on, I'm sure Emily wants to see you." He said in a whisper. My body froze instinctively. Aunt Emily? I had completely forgotten about her in the midst of my breakdown. "It's okay. She's not mad. Just worried." He assured. Holding my hand, he led me out of the bedroom.

Paul had to practically pull me along as he brought me into the kitchen. Aunt Emily and Sam sat close to each other at the table, a box of Kleenex in front of my poor relative. She let out a sigh of relief, dabbing her eyes with a tissue as Sam held her hand supportively. "Raegan." She said quietly. I looked up at her, my lip trembling. "I-I'm sorry I wet the b-bed. I promise it won't ever happen again, e-ever." I stammered. She make a tisking sound with her tongue, and walked over to me. Holding her arms out to hug me, I flinched unintentionally, thinking she was going to hug me. "Sweetie, you don't need to be afraid of me. I promise I won't hurt you, okay? Everyone has nightmares. It's alright, we don't blame you at all." She explained. Squeezing me reassuringly, Paul and Sam were glaring at each other across the room. "But we need to tall." Emily continued. Were they going to kick me out? Finally decide that I was too much to handle? "We want you to see someone. We really think that maybe seeing the school counselor or something will help." Sam said, not taking his eye off Paul.

My face instantly paled. I didn't want to talk to anyone about this, never mind a stranger! "I-I'm fine, really. I don't need to see anyone!" I said hurriedly. Emily pinched the bridge of her nose as she sat back down next to Sam. "It's not a choice, Raegan. The decision has been made." Sam said sternly.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Keep reviewing people! I need all of your opinions! Love ya!

Chapter 14: Eyes On Fire

Paul's POV:

All I could seem to focus on was Raegan's face. Her facial expression was odd. She wore a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, her body frigid. Emily and Sam looked completely bewildered. "I'm not sure I understand. And I don't think you do either." She said quietly, still maintaining that weird smile yet cold exterior. What the hell? Why was she acting so…unlike herself? Sam narrowed his eyes at her, while Emily looked like she was going to cry again. "Sweetie, we are trying to understand. There is only so much we can do. It's hard to manage all of this." Emily said softly, trying to coax her. But Raegan wasn't having any of it. "I didn't realize you felt this way." My imprint said, in a voice barely above a whisper. "You could have told me that I was burdening you. I would have been okay with it, I would have made more of an effort to be quieter-"

"No, baby girl, that's not what we are saying at all!"

"-I wouldn't have told you anything, so I wouldn't put so much weight on your shoulders. And I could have even gone back to South Dakota, back home."

Emily frowned, an angry expression on her face. "Raegan Young, you are not a burden. And _this_ is your home. Not South Dakota. We love you, but none of us are…properly equipped…to help you with this. Please, understand why we are doing this." She explained sternly. Raegan's face softened, but I could tell she was still uncomfortable. "I can't make any promises. I don't like the idea of leaving myself vulnerable to someone I barely know." She said softly. Sam shook his head. "All we ask if that you try. If you honestly feel like you will be better without it, then we will take you out of therapy. But try." He replied.

Emily and Sam dismissed us, and Raegan walked quickly to her room. Shutting the door behind her, I took a deep breath. "C'mon, Rae. Open the door, please? It's just me." I said while knocking. No sound was made from the other side of the door, so taking a chance, I opened it.

Raegan was lying in her bed, facing the wall. "Raegan…." I whispered, making my way to sit on the bed. "I'm not crazy, am I?" she asked softly. Pain erupted through my heart, but I ignored it. "No, of course not. Why would you think that?" I asked hurriedly. She appeared to have shrugged her shoulders, but it was hard to tell since she was laying down. "…Only crazy people go to therapists and stuff. So I must be crazy too." She explained sadly. I laughed despite myself, unable to take that seriously. "No, no, no, baby girl. You…You're just going through a rough time right now. And therapists aren't just for 'crazy' people. They are for people who need some…guidance."

Raegan rolled over, facing me. "But I don't need guidance. Why don't you guys get that? What happened was _my_ fault. Not anyone else's." she said, sounding slightly stressed. I studied her face carefully. She looked confused, and angry. "I…I don't know what to say." I admitted honestly. For the first time, I was speechless. I couldn't think of anything to make the situation better; nothing would change her mind. And I didn't even know what the situation was. "I understand." She said with a sigh, and turned back onto her other side.

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I had unfortunately left for patrol, hoping the time away would give me some time to reflect and think. Seth would be joining me soon, so I had to do all the important thinking soon. I couldn't stop wondering what Raegan meant; what caused her to have such a bad nightmare and to make her have an...accident. "_Hey bro, what's up?"_ said a chipper voice bouncing from behind me. It was obviously Seth. I grumbled a quick response, not really in the mood to talk to anyone. "_You okay?"_ said another voice, which I realized was Jacob. "_I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" _I answered, sarcasm dripping off of every word. Embry came running out of the trees, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, looking like a complete doofus. Suddenly, all the memories of this morning had reappeared, flashing so quickly I couldn't stop them. "_What was that?"_

"_Whoa, man. What happened?"_

"_Everyone shut up! You weren't supposed to see that!" _

"_Did she wet herself?"_

"_What's going on Paul?" _

I growled angrily, snapping my teeth at Seth and Embry. "_Shut the fuck up, you stupid idiots!"_ I seethed, my teeth bared dangerously. The two smaller wolves' faces held confusion and disbelief, but they didn't speak, which was wise on their part. Suddenly, a wave of emotion filled with sadness and desperation grew in my chest, and I let out an anguished whine. "_I feel so helpless. I feel like there isn't anything I can do to help her! She opens up, but she's so shut away from me…I can't get through!" _I exclaimed. Embry and Seth seemed unsure of what to do. "_Did…did that really happen? She peed?" _Seth asked timidly. I tensed, but immediately let my guard down. "_Something is scaring her. Something bad. Like, really bad. And I'm lost when it comes to trying to comfort her."_ I sighed. I felt like crying. What could I do?

Finally, my patrol ended and I immediately ran back to Raegan. Not bothering to knock on the door to Sam and Emily's home, I walked speedily to her room. She laid there in the same position I had left her in, her eyes open but staring into space. "Rae? Sweetie?" I asked quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed and carefully setting my hand on her back. "Paulie…" she murmured softly. Her voice sounded pained, and it instantly made my face contort in frustration. "Rae, what's wrong? Please, let me help you." I whispered. She shook her head stubbornly, a bitter laugh escaping her throat. "Why is everyone convinced I need help? I'm fine!" she exclaimed. Why was she acting like this? "Raegan, stop! Please!" I snapped. She made no notion that she even recognized I spoke, and just scoffed. "I'm going to a therapist tomorrow morning. Then you will all see I'm fine." She said confidently.

Upset and not knowing what to do, I left the room and headed to see Emily and Sam, who were talking seriously on the sofa in the living room. "How is she?" Emily asked me hopefully. With one look at my face, her expression deflated. "She doesn't think she needs any help…I don't even know what's going on, but I'm convinced she probably does." I said honestly. Sam let out an aggravated sigh. "She needs to see a doctor. I don't know how to handle her anymore, she's making Emily so stressed and it's affecting my temper." he said angrily. Whoa whoa whoa, who did he think he was? Talking about my beautiful Raegan like that, like she was some type of animal. "Raegan isn't someone who is in need of being _handled,_ Sam. She is a human being who needs to be cared for and tended to. And I realize it can be stressful raising a teenager or whatever, but at least make it sound like you give a shit about her, okay?" I growled. Sam narrowed his eyes at me. "I care very much about Raegan, Paul. It's just become a little difficult to put up with this." He snapped. I started trembling, only wanting to wrap my hands around his stupid throat. "Put up with. Is that what you call it? She goes through something terrible and you 'put up' with her. How can you even call yourself an Alpha? Do you 'put up' with the pack, too?" I yelled. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "You are taking it the completely wrong way. I didn't mean it like that." He said, sounding exasperated. I laughed bitterly. "Well that's sure how it came across. I'm going to sit with Rae. Don't bother us." I replied menacingly, stalking down the hallway back to her room.

"Paulie?" she asked quietly as she attempted to sit up. "Shhh. Go to sleep." I whispered, climbing in the bed beside her. "Is this okay?" I asked her, wanting to make sure I wasn't making her uncomfortable. She nodded her head unsurely. "What was going on? There was a lot of yelling." She said cutely, her voice sounding worried but innocent all at the same time. It almost infuriated me as I recalled Sam's statements from before. "No need to worry. Everything's okay. We'll be just fine." I said.

If I only I believed it myself.

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Raegan's POV

I woke up a few hours later, and it was still dark outside. The clock read 2 am, and I checked my surroundings. I was confined in the protective arms of Paul, which comforted me with their warmth. I was more nervous than I would let on about later today. I didn't want to see a therapist, and I had no desire to talk to anyone about my 'problems'. I've been coping with life since the day I was born, but no one seemed to understand I was more than capable of dealing with things on my own.

But there was Paul. He cared more about me than anyone. He was my protector, I was his imprint. There was so much I wanted to tell him, but I was so afraid he wouldn't love me anymore; he wouldn't be my best friend. A part of me told me that he would never abandon me like that, but a bigger part of me liked playing it safe, even if in the long run it would hurt us both.

I turned towards him, my eyes gazing at his relaxed form. He was extremely attractive, even when he was asleep. When had I come to have a crush on him? Suddenly, his eyes fluttered open, and he gazed into mine. "You okay?" he asked, his voice still raspy from sleep. I nodded, feeling guilty for waking him up. "You can go to sleep." I whispered. He smirked and shook his head. "How can I fall asleep when I know you're awake?" he asked teasingly. I allowed myself to blush as he stared deeply into my eyes. "Now tell me, what's keeping you? We have all the time in the world."

I gulped nervously. "I-I'm scared."

He frowned, and sat up on his elbow. "What are you afraid of?" he inquired, more to himself than me. I shrugged. "I don't want to be judged." I stated quietly. He shook his head, tisking. "Don't be scared. Tomorrow's just an evaluation, anyway. The therapist's job is to try and help you." He assured. I nodded slowly, my eyes downcast. An impending thought wouldn't stop penetrating my brain, and before I knew it, I blurted it out. "You won't…You won't leave me, will you?"

Paul looked absolutely flabbergasted; his expression clear as day despite the lack of light.

"What?"

"When…when I tell you my secret….you won't leave me, right? I mean, it won't change anything, right?"

Scooting closer to me, he placed his hand gently on my cheek, looking at me sadly. "I will never leave you. Ever. You could tell me you were a serial killer, and I still wouldn't leave."

"But only because you don't have the choice, right? Because of the imprint?"

Paul sat upright speedily, turning to me so fast I'm sure any normal human would have broken their neck. "I will always be by your side, Raegan, whether you like it or not. And I would do it in a heartbeat, with or without the imprint. Nothing in this world could change my mind about how I feel about you."

The utter feeling of love overwhelmed me, and I threw myself into his arms, squeezing him as hard as I could. I caught him off guard, and that was apparent, but he quickly hugged me back, burying his face in my hair. "Thank you, Paul. You are the best friend a girl could ask for." I said gratefully.

"I'm always here, Rae."

A/N: I KNOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN 23456789 YEARS! IM SORRY I HAD SEVERE WRITERS BLOCK AND THEN I WENT ON VACATION AND THEN I FORGOT WHAT I WAS WRITING ABOUT AND BLAH BLAH BLAH! Please Review!


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Here's chapter 15! I cannot stress to you enough, review!

Chapter 15: Dark Fantasy

Paul's POV:

I woke up around seven, almost growling at the person who dared to disturb me at such an hour, before I realized it was Raegan. "We're leaving in fifteen minutes." She said, buttoning her jeans and zipping her fly. I immediately blushed, realizing only minutes before, she wasn't wearing any pants. I could've seen that! Oh, those beautiful, slender legs...

I literally slapped myself to rid myself of the dirty thoughts invading my brain, much to my beautiful imprint's amusement. "What was that?" she asked, her lips straining to contain the smile that threatened to escape. "Never mind, I had a weird…thought. So, are you ready for today?" I asked, genuinely curious and somewhat afraid of her response. Her face flushed, and I immediately regretted bringing it up. "I-I suppose. I don't know, I'm nervous…" she trailed off, her chocolate locks falling in front of her lightly freckled face. I stepped out of bed, pulling her close as I pushed the hair away. "Hey, don't be nervous, you got this. _We _got this. I will be right there with you, remember? I'm not going anywhere. You will be fine." I said softly.

Jeez, sometimes I listen to myself over in my head when I talk to her, and I just wonder when I became such a softie…?

Oh well, it's worth it. It always is. Even if I'm totally friendzoned.

She smiled at me, and then looked down with a strange expression. Snapping her head back up in an instant, her cheeks grew red. What was she looking at?

Oh shit.

Morning wood.

"Y-You got a-a little p-problem." She whispered, averting her eyes. I blushed awkwardly, practically sprinting to the bathroom to relieve myself and change.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After a few minutes, I shoveled some pancakes down my throat hurriedly as Raegan claimed she was too nervous to eat, and we climbed into the car. She was wringing her hands nervously, changing positions in the car seat every few minutes impatiently. I continued to look at her, studying her mannerisms, and her facial expressions. She looked extremely nervous, possibly even scared. I laid a comforting hand on her knee, squeezing it reassuringly. She looked over at me, giving me a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Raegan…"

"I'm okay, I'm just nervous."

"There's nothing to be nervous about! It's just a consultation, nothing serious is going to be talked about today. And remember: this is on you. You say things when you are ready and comfortable. The therapist can't force you to talk to her."

She gulped and nodded, but her stiff demeanor seemed to relax a bit. "I have an idea. How about after your appointment, we go to the forest? To the little meadow?" I asked, hoping making plans would distract her a little and give her something to look forward to. She nodded, a large meaningful smile on her face. "I would love to."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We finally arrived at the therapist's office, and after checking in, we both sat down as we waited for her to get called in. Her leg was bouncing anxiously, and after a few minutes of tense silence, the lady from the front desk called her in.

"Well, I'll see you soon." She said quietly. I nodded, a smile on my face that was intended to be reassuring but probably looked more nervous. However, she stayed planted in her seat. "Rae, you have to go…" I said, unsure. She let out a deep breath and got up. I stood up with her, and took her hand in mine. "Don't worry. You will be fine." I said in a hopeful voice. She looked up at me, a sparkle in her eyes. And suddenly, she leant forward and placed a delicate kiss on my cheek. "Thank you." She said quietly, before walking quickly into the therapist's office.

I collapsed into my chair, my cheeks darkened and my thoughts scattered. Despite it only being a kiss on the cheek, I felt more in love with her than I ever did. As much as I want to think it was probably a friendly kiss, the sparkle in her eye told me otherwise. And the way she looked at me was just as loving as the looks I've given her.

However, as soon as these thoughts appeared, my doubt and pessimistic attitude brought my goofy smile into a tight grimace. The kiss was most likely a friendly kiss. What are the chances she likes me back? She's so shy and timid that the act itself would be bold of her, even as friends. And plus, I was totally and utterly friendzoned. The only thing that kind of helped me think of the positives of this situation was the fact that she said she didn't want to have a brother-sister relationship with me.

I know it's wrong of me to think, and I realize I'm probably a bad imprint for wanting this so badly. But I didn't know how long I could keep being her 'friend'. Even though Emily told me to take my time with her, I was growing impatient and her simple mannerisms were driving me crazy. From her undressing in the same room with me (even though I was asleep) and falling asleep with me, it was amazing that I didn't have a permanent boner.

I sat in the chair for two hours, reflecting on my somewhat selfish desires, when the therapist's door opened. The psychiatrist walked out first, holding the door open with a sad smile on her face. The woman had greying hair, crow's feet at the corner of her eyes from smiling too much, and wore old lady clothes. Raegan came out next, her eyes red, but a smile on her face nonetheless. I stood up in my chair so abruptly, I almost fell, but quickly caught myself. What had happened? Did that woman make her cry? If that doctor lady so much as brought a tear to my imprint's eye….

"Are you okay?" I asked softly. She nodded, a single tear falling on her cheek before she quickly wiped it away. "C'mon, let's go to the meadow." She said, her voice trying to sound happy but her sad expression betrayed it. I nodded, and after making another appointment for later in the week, we headed out to my truck.

The meadow wasn't too far away, however the silence in the car made me feel like we had been driving for hours. Raegan would occasionally glance up at me, and I would try to catch her, but she would avert her eyes.

When we finally arrived in the forest, I helped her out of the truck, and we started making our trek out into the woods. I was quick to help her over fallen trees and catch her when she tripped, but the silence was still there. Slightly more comfortable, but tense. After about 15 minutes, the clearing was in view, and she ran past me, twirling in the middle of the small meadow like she was in a movie. "I love this place. I'm so happy you brought me here." She said, her voice sounding far away. I smiled, and I sat down in the lush, soft grass. "It's my pleasure. It's our place now." I said happily, making her blush. Suddenly, she grew very serious, and sat down next to me. "Paul, I have to tell you something." She said quietly. I glanced up, scanning her face for any discomfort or pain. "What?" I asked, almost scared that something was wrong and would ruin this peaceful atmosphere. She looked up into my eyes, her big, blue doe eyes searching for something. "W-When I was in the t-therapists office…" she said, her voice wavering. "What? Did that woman upset you? Are you okay?" I asked desperately. She shook her head, and bit her lip. "She didn't u-upset me, Paul. We were t-talking…and I think I'm ready. Ready to tell you about my past." She said, sounding very nervous. I took her hand in my colossal ones, and looked at her. "Raegan, you don't have to do this." I said seriously. She shook her head again. "I..I want to, Paul. You deserve to know. You are my very best friend and I trust you." She replied.

I nodded, bracing myself internally. She opened her mouth to begin speaking, but it snapped shut and a few tears leaked out of her eyes. "I…I don't know if I can do this." She said sadly. I released her hand and cupped either side of her face, forcing her to make eye contact with me. "Tell me, Rae, what are you so afraid of?" I asked. "I'm afraid you are going to hate me after this…and you won't love me anymore." She said. I gathered her small body in my arms and sat her in my lap, rocking her back and forth gently. "Oh, baby, there's nothing in this world that could make me stop loving you. I'm your number one supporter, and nothing will change after you tell me, okay?" I assured. She nodded, and after clearing her throat, began to speak.

"My m-mom is Emily's older sister. She got pregnant with me when she was 15, and she was obviously not ready to have a child. She didn't hang with good people, and she was a big partier. My grandma, Emily and my mom's mom, said she would help her raise me if she stayed out of trouble. They got into this big fight, and my mom wound up leaving La Push with her boyfriend, who is my d-dad, and moved to South Dakota. My dad wound up leaving us, and my mom was a wreck. She got into drugs and alcohol, and didn't…she didn't take care of me."

I was shaking slightly as she said this, trying to keep my composure but unable to understand how a mother could do this to their own child. She shifted in my lap, and continued.

"I…I had to learn how to do everything myself. From the time I learned how to walk, I had to take care of the both of us. My mom spent all our money on pointless things, and kept entering terrible relationships with the sleaziest guys she could find. Then, she found J-Jesse."

I growled when I heard his name, and I wasn't sure why. Something about the way she said it, the fear and sadness behind it made me feel like this wasn't going to be a happy ending.

"Jesse was nice to me at first. He showed me a lot of attention. But that attention quickly became something I didn't want. He started…he started to…"

I motioned for her to continue, rubbing circles in her back to comfort her. I was shaking badly at this point, but she needed my support and I couldn't leave her now.

"He…he never went past touching…but he touched me…in bad places. My mom never believed me and even when she saw it with her own eyes, all she did was shake her head. When I would scream or yell, he would beat me until I learned to…to submit."

Her small frame shook as she sobbed into my shoulder, and I held her tight to my chest as I squeezed my eyes shut, trying desperately to keep the images of my imprint being hurt out of my mind. Rocking her back and forth as my chest constricted in pain, I couldn't help but cry too. "I'm so sorry, Raegan. I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that. I wish I could erase all this pain, baby." I soothed. Seeing her cry and knowing what she had gone through made it difficult to keep my composure, but knowing that she was in my arms and she was safe was enough to make me feel slightly better. Silently, I picked her up and had her face me, and I stared into her deep blue eyes. "Raegan, I swear over everything I have, over my own life. That will never happen to you again. No one will ever hurt you. I will protect you." I told her sincerely. More tears escaped her eyes, and I hugged her fiercely. "I love you so much, Rae. So much that it scares me. I promise you that I will do all that I can to make sure that you are happy, and healthy."

"P-Paul…"

"Shhh. Calm down, sweetie. You don't have to talk."

"P-Paul….I-I love you too." She said, her eyes boring into mine. Before I knew what I was doing, I pressed my mouth to hers in desperation. My arm held her tightly around her waist, and my other hand tangled itself in her brown, wavy locks. She didn't respond at first, but slowly started to kiss me back. I did my best to convey all the feelings I had pent up inside me.

We finally stopped, both of us breathing heavily. I pressed my forehead against hers, smiling slightly. She looked surprised and confused, but after a few seconds, she wrapped her arm around my neck and pressed my lips against hers once again. She kissed me back!

It was literally the best kiss I had ever received. Full of love and passion and everything else that makes something like this so wonderful. We came up for air once again, and this time, she sat back a little, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "Whoa." She said honestly, her voice raspy. I nodded, a satisfied smirk on my face. "Whoa is right." I replied. I leaned forward and pecked her lips once, and got to my feet. "C'mon, let's get you home." I said, feeling better than I had in a long time. She blushed, and taking the hand I held out to her, nodded.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Hey, guys. I'm really sorry I haven't been updating but to be frank, I had terrible writers block. But now it's over and I'm back! Please review!

Chapter 16: Bulletproof Heart

Raegan's POV

Paul walked me up to the door, and we stood there, not really knowing what to say. "I had a great day today, Paulie." I said softly. He nodded furiously, a goofy grin on his face. "Me too!" he said excitedly. I blushed horrendously, unsure of what to say next. "W-Well, I should get inside, I'm sure Emily wants to hear about the doctor-"

Cutting me off midsentence, he leaned down and kissed me again. This kiss was very different from our first. Instead of desperation, frustration and impulse, this one was loving and slow. He pressed his hand against the small of my back, and cupped my face with his other hand. I could feel his smile against my lips, and I wrapped both of my arms around his neck as I tried to get closer. He finally released me, giving me one last peck on the lips. "I'll see you later, Raegan." he said with a smirk.

I was literally in some form of shock. My legs seemed unable to move, and my insides felt like jello. I waved weakly as he hopped back in his truck, and headed inside.

Aunt Emily sat in a chair in the kitchen, pretending to read a newspaper. "Oh, wow, Raegan, I didn't even hear you come in." she said, obviously lying. I rolled my eyes jokingly. "I know you saw, Aunt Emily." I said with a chuckle. "What? What are you talking about? I've just been here, reading the paper." She said, a smile threatening to escape. I crossed my arms over my chest. "The paper's upside down."

She blushed, and then after staring at me for 3 straight minutes, let out the most girlish squeal I've ever heard. "Aunt Emily!" I exclaimed, clasping my hands over my ears. She ran up to me and grabbed my hands, forcing me to jump and down with her. "EEEEEEP! PAUL KISSED YOU!" she screamed. I laughed despite myself, and found myself being excited with her. "So, was it good?" she asked. "Was what good?"

"The kiss, dammit!"

"Oh…well, yes, yes it was."

She quickly sat me down, ushering me to continue. "Tell me all about it. How did it happen?" she persisted. I rolled my eyes. "I told him, Aunt Emily."

"You…You told him about South Dakota?" she asked quietly. I nodded. "How did he take it?"

"He took it much better than I thought. I mean, he was upset and e-everything but he was there for me."

Emily squealed again, and ran to the fridge and took out a bucket of fudge ripple, my favorite flavor. Taking me by the hand, she dragged me to my room. "What are you doing?" I asked, chuckling. "We are having a GIRL'S NIGHT!" she exclaimed. She suddenly picked up the phone, and pressed it to her ear after dialing a number. "Kim? Hey, can you come over? Yeah, big news! What? Okay, awesome, see you in five!" she said with a huge grin. I pinched the bridge of my nose. What had I just gotten myself into?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kim came over shortly, fully equipped with what she called her 'estrogen basket', which was just a bag full of chocolate and Nicholas Sparks movies. Much to my horror, Aunt Emily and Kim forced me to spill every excruciating detail about my day, specifically the kiss. They made me sit through several chick flics, including 'The Notebook' and 'Mean Girls'. As much as I enjoyed them, I'd rather see something with a little more action, but my 'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' vote was immediately dismissed.

After hours of hearing the two girls next to me squeal and sigh, Aunt Emily turned on the radio and 'Hey Mickey!' came on. Kim and Emily immediately got up, dancing terribly. Shaking my head, but a smile on my face nonetheless, I stayed in the bed. "Pretty please?" Kim pleaded, puppy eyes and all. "I refuse," I stated. My aunt rolled her eyes, and yanked me up by my hand. "Your dancing whether you like it or not!" she yelled, a giggle escaping her lips. I simply stayed still, my arms crossed over my chest. Kim and Emily grabbed both of my hands, forcing me to move.

Soon after, I couldn't help it, and I started to dance on my own. Almost every party/dance song came on. Aunt Emily and Kim made cat calls as I dance badly to whatever was playing. Suddenly, there was a knock on my bedroom window. I stopped spinning in circles and dizzily fell on my bed. Looking up, I saw…Paul?

Quickly collecting myself and tossing my hair out of my face, I opened the window with a goofy smile. I still felt lightheaded from all the dancing I had done, and the giggles coming from the girls didn't exactly help the situation. Paul raised an eyebrow at me, smirking. "Why the hell are you here?" Kim asked with a loud cackle, making Emily laugh along with her. "I was hoping I could speak to Raegan for a few minutes, if you don't mind, brace face." Paul retorted, his infamous smirk gracing his handsome features. Kim instantly shut up, only leaving Emily to keep laughing. I nodded my head furiously, and quickly slipped on my sweatshirt and boots.

Running out the front door, I scanned my surroundings for Paul. The brisk evening air was even colder than usual as winter approached, and a shiver went down my spine. "Paulie?" I called. No response. Much to my surprise, I felt two warm, strong arms wrap around my waist. I inhaled, ready to scream at the top of my lungs, when a huge hand clamped over my mouth. I spun around harshly, seeing Paul with an amused smile on his face, his eyebrow still raised. "Nice dance moves, Rae." He said with a chuckle. I blushed bright red. "You were watching me?!" I asked, eyes wide. He nodded happily. "What, you honestly think you and the girls are alone? Sam and Jared are wondering around here, too. I _did_ tell you I would see you later." He said simply. I merely rolled my eyes. "So, what's up?"

"What, I can't just drop in to say hello?"

"I know you're here for a reason, Paul."

He pulled me behind the house, holding me close. "Your right, I did." He said with a shrug. He then pressed his warm, soft lips to mine. My eyes snapped shut, and I quickly reciprocated. God, he was such an amazing kisser. I mean, he was really the only person I'd ever kissed, willingly anyway. But he took my breath away. I moaned as he slid his tongue into my mouth, much to my embarrassment. The kiss began to get more heated, and he growled as he pushed me up against the side of the house, his hands raking up and down my waist. I pulled away, much to his disappointment. "What's wrong?" he asked me. I gulped, still breathing heavily from our make out session. "N-Nothing. I…I just have a question." I replied. He looked into my eyes, wanting for me to continue. "W-What…What are we? I mean, are we going out? Are we friends? I mean, I don't really u-understand…Everything is happening so fast…" I trailed off, unsure of what else to say. He looked at me with the biggest grin, and he laughed. I blushed, slight anger replacing my features. "I-It was just a question." I said quietly. He laughed again. A scowl made its way to my face, and he instantly sobered. "I'm sorry, Rae, but you're just so fucking cute." He said with a smile. I still wasn't happy. "I don't like it when you curse, Paul. And I'm serious." I stated confidently. His face grew stern, and he nodded. "Well, what do you want us to be?" he asked. My eyes widened, he was giving me the choice? "W-What?"

"What do you want us to be? It's all up to you, baby girl. All I ask is that you don't throw me back into the friend zone." He pleaded. I nodded, still trying to process this. I cleared my throat. "Well, I…I like you, you know that. And you like me-"

"I don't just like you, I love you."

"-So, um, I…I don't know." I mumbled. He gently jerked my chin up with his finger, forcing me to make eye contact. "Well, I know that I love you. And I don't want to see you with anyone else but me. Does that clarify anything?" he asked softly. I blinked in response. "Well, Raegan, will you go out with me?" he asked seriously.

I don't really know what came over me. I was never one for making bold moves, but in that moment, seeing him lick his lips nervously as he prepared to deal with rejection, it overwhelmed me. I grabbed his face with all my might and kissed him, giving him all the answers that he needed.

"I guess I'll take that as a yes."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I walked back inside, my legs wobbly from the amazing kiss and shock from pulling such a move. Kim and Aunt Emily sat on my bed anxiously, looking at me with curiosity and impatience. "Well?" Kim said, not even waiting for me to shut my bedroom door. I blushed, rolling my eyes. "Geez, you guys are so nosy. Now neither of you get to find out." I said haughtily, my arms crossing my chest. However, I quickly caved in after seeing their puppy faces, and filled them in.

"Oh my God, Raegan! You've completely changed him." Aunt Emily said, staring at me in wonder. I shrugged, not completely sure what that meant. Kim snickered. "What?" I asked her. She laughed again. "Wait until Sarah finds out." she said, concern lacing her sarcastic words. My heart dropped, and I instantly paled. "Oh crap." I muttered. Kim patted me on the shoulder comfortingly.

The rest of the night we gossiped, read teen magazines, gorged ourselves on junk food, and finally watched Transformers, much to my delight. Despite the moans from the girls, I watched with anticipation and excitement as I saw Optimus Prime kick butt.

At around 12 am, Kim and Aunt Emily fell asleep, but I was still wide awake, thinking about Paul. How long had he liked me for? Would being in a relationship change how comfortable I was around him? As much as I liked him, I still wanted the friendship to be there. How many girls had he dated before he met me? Was…was he even a virgin?

Unable to fall asleep, I went to the bathroom to throw some water on my face. Sneaking out of the makeshift sleeping bag I made out of my comforter, I quietly tiptoed around Kim and my aunt, squeezing my eyes shut as I waited for one of them to suddenly wake up. I accidently stepped on Kim's mouth guard, which made me shiver in a whole new way when I noticed it was wet.

Ew.

Hoping Sam wouldn't hear me, I sprinted across the hallway and shut the bathroom door behind me, pressed against it as I sighed in relief. Who knew going to the bathroom was so stressful?

I turned the faucet on, lazily watching the water fill the sink, my chin resting on my hand. The thoughts coursing through my brain were severely stressing me out, and I didn't know how to confront any of these things since I had never been in a relationship before.

Suddenly, something caught the corner of my eye.

I turned around, my hands clenched tightly around the sink.

The shiny object sat there, silently mocking me as I observed its gleam against the fluorescent bathroom light. Taunting me with its silver blades, practically begging me to press the cold metal against my fragile skin. _'No, I can't.'_ I silently begged, recalling how Paul would look if he ever found out about my…habit…The expression of disappointment Sam and Aunt Emily would have, the anger Kim would hold. But it sat there, unmoving, not caring that I was facing an internal battle. '_Come on, only one time.'_ A voice said in my head, sounding cunning and wrong. I shook my head, pressing myself closer to the bathroom door. My gut was telling me to leave, forget about it, and go to sleep. '_Just this once, Raegan. You haven't cut in such a long time. One little cut, that's all. It won't kill you.'_ The voice mocked again. I pressed both of my hands against my mouth, trying to hold back the whimpers. '_Raegan, you keep forgetting. Not cutting won't make you any less broken. You will still be shattered inside; dirty. Whether you cut or not won't make a difference.' _The voice teased.

I'm not sure what happened, but somehow, I recalled how Paul looked today when I told him about my past. The sadness in his eyes, how upset he was. Could I really put him through anything else? Did I have a heart?

Yes, yes I did. Angrily, I shut off the faucet, turned off the lights, and left the bathroom.


End file.
